Trust?

etnasgrl

I've been a Christian for many years, but to be honest, God was on the back burner. My life was going well and so, (it sounds terrible), I didn't have a real need for Him.
This cancer diagnosis changed all of that. From the day of the biopsy on, I've been reaching out to Him and He has been there every step of the way. It is amazing to me that He is faithful to us, even when we are not faithful to Him. What a truly incredible God!

I know that sometimes people get angry with God and distance themselves from Him when something like this happens. While I understand the reaction, my instinct was to run towards Him. I quickly realized that even though I have a wonderful husband, an awesome son, a beautiful extended family, and caring friends.....He is truly the only one to get me through this! His strength, His power, His peace, His joy, and His grace.
I have moments though where my trust is lacking. I get scared and worried about the future, the surgeries, the treatments, and so on. I fear a recurrence down the road. I fear the unknown. I fear death. I want to trust Him and sometimes I do. But then....sometimes I don't. I suppose I'm a work in progress.

Anyway....I would love to connect with some other Christians on this journey!

Wildflower2015

I am very much a work in progress...will be following your thread, thank you for posting

Owens69

Beautiful transparency, Etnasgrl. As Christians, there is somewhat of a stigma if we seem to let our faith waiver. But the reality is that we are human. I often look at David. He was a man after God's own heart, yet his emotions waivered.... a lot. When I first received my diagnosis, I was completely devastated. But it didn't take long until faith would begin to rise within me. This has been a repeated response to every negative medical report. I think of it like this... circumstances may cause us to be emotional and even worry about the what if's. This is my natural man and these thoughts / fears are coming from my soul (my mind, my will, and my emotions). However, my spirit man knows that God is capable of healing my body, going through this with me, never leaving my side, etc. Sometimes our natural man has to become aligned with our spirit man (i.e., tell our head what our heart already knows). I hope this helps.

journey16

Hi! I'm new to this site, but not to cancer. I have been a Christian for about 30 years now and according to scripture I'm still human. I think we are all works in progress! The good news is that scripture also tells us that "He is faithful to complete it"! With my first diagnosis, I felt the peace of God pour down over me like a pitcher of water had been poured over my head. As soon as I started thinking, I got angry, sad and then finally came to a place of acceptance. Kind of like the grieving process. I had to let go of what I thought my life would look like. The only thing that brought me to the acceptance phase was God. He was patient until in my mind I pictured His one hand picking me up and putting me in the palm of the His other. With my second diagnosis of mets I was able to get to the acceptance much quicker because I knew where I was. Still in the palm of His hand. There was 8 years between the 2 diagnosis. During that time I realized that I trusted Him much more than ever before. That His plan for my life is perfect. That I wanted to spend every day glorifying God. When we go through hard trials, He always turns things around and allows us to bless others. I have been privileged to walk with, encourage and love other women in my church that were diagnosed with breast cancer. If God asked me if I wanted a "Do over" I would have to say no. It is this trial that brought my faith to another level of trust in the One who made me. The longer you are away from the initial diagnosis, the fear does subside. You won't be thinking about cancer as much. I hope and pray that it doesn't come back for you. But if it does, you will have hope and joy in knowing you are still in the palm of His hand. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I look forward to connecting with other Christians as well.

Seadish

Don't know if your still here but God Bless you