Start the treatment already!!!!!

BRCA1positive

triple negative grade 3 invasive ducal carcinoma. I want my lumpectomy now!!!!! I had to have a second biopsy on another mass before they do the surgery, the second mass is benign. Sometimes I hate weekends. Waiting for business days to be able to schedule surgery. I want to know if the cancer is in my lymph nodes or not. Also want to start healing so I can start treatment. This waiting is driving me nuts

Cubbie2015

You said it! Wait for an ultrasound, wait for biopsy results, wait for BRCA results, wait for surgery, wait for more pathology results, wait for oncotype test, wait to start whatever treatment is recommended, and at some point wait for more pathology results...it just goes on and on. When I explain the process to other people, they are shocked at how drawn out this is. Somebody said this is a marathon, and they weren't kidding!

BRCA1positive

Amen sister!

Girl53

Amen sisters! Before this happened to me, I would never have guessed how drawn out this could be. Am trying to be patient, but the waiting feels excrutiating. I was diagnosed with LCIS in early August, breast cancer in mid September, and am now waiting for Oncotype results now. While am so grateful for good care, just feel suspended and uncertain and droopy and angry, by turns. Want to be in mood for the holidays, but it's hard. Hoping there are aspects of this situation that will help me develop new emotional awareness and skills...but do I really want these...Cookies sound better! Piles of them don't fit into my breast-cancer eating plan...Might have to suspend the plan until January 2 LOL!

So many times a day I think, "I just want to be past this. I want to be looking back at this from 'all finished.' Yet I know that there is something very valuable about TODAY, and its circumstances and relationships and new learning. Don't want to miss these things....just wish I could have them without so much fear and ruminating and consciousness of vulnerability.

Guess I'll have to make my annual (wonderful) fruitcake this weekend, and add a little extra bourbon!

exercise_guru

It is so difficult to wait. It is a process. I would caution you to make sure you get all the information. There are times that they do chemotherapy before Surgery. In hindsight I am disappointed they didn't run a CT scan and make sure it was only in my breast before surgery. I wanted surgery right away and in my case that is what would have happened regardless but its important to make sure that you get get the best doctors and the best pathology. Its worth it to get second opinions and really know what you are up against.

Still waiting for results is absolutely the worst. I cried for days and days waiting to find out.

Girl53

Exercise: You've been through a lot already...My thoughts and hugs are with you. Keep up good work, and know that people here are thinking of you. Are you substantially recovered from mastectomy?

Thanks so much for your reply. I feel so upset today...had huge meltdown this morning before work. Though particulars of my situation are comparatively favorable, the uncertainty is so hard. I see you have mutation...Part of my waiting was for a multi-panel gene test due to lots of BC and other cancer in family. Test was negative -- for which I am so grateful. But still struggling with feeling threatened and scared (I had a husband who died of a brain tumor after a long struggle, and now have a brother-in-law being monitored for melanoma after discovery of an unknown primary tumor). My 66-year-old step mother was also recently diagnosed with BC. And my vision is impaired now due to a cataract, and I'm only 53 and too young for this! I think the fix for that is not too bad, thank goodness. It has just felt like a scary time...like painful things happening in "clumps." Guess it's natural to have some down days when dx fairly new, and before main part of treatment underway.

Am learning, through this process so far, what a huge ruminator I am. Even when I get good news, I have a hard time enjoying it, as my anxiety level is high. So it's easy to beat myself up for this, too. "Why can't I just be grateful," etc. etc. My inner Charlie Brown is a little out of control right now LOL.

Trying to tell myself that any normal person would feel upset in this situation; that tears are a healthy release of tension and emotional energy; and that this mood is going to pass. It's not permanent. It just feels bad today.

Thanks again, Exercise, and will be thinking of you.

Brimton

I totally agree. I have had the biopsy. Cancer of the left breast .5cm. Now waiting for Surgery consult. The Md in town, who is very good, can't see me until 1/12. Called Mayo clinic I wants this done ASAP! I can see them but surgery won't be until early feb. Then I'm told my insurance won't par for mastectomy wether I want one or not. So I guess I have a lumpectomy... Arrrgh. I know I'm lucky they found it. For that I am grateful. I feel like I'm getting punished for something. I'm healthy eat right don't drink don't smoke... To all girlfriends go get a mammogram they can save your life.

Moderators

Dear Brimton,

Welcome to the BCO community. We are glad that you reached out here and hope that you will find support and information from our members. Please stay connected here and keep us posted. The Mods

BRCA1positive

Treatment started. Chemo is rough.

Girl53

Brim: I sometimes feel this way, too...How could this have happened? I am healthier and more fit than I ever have been. Whattheheck? My radiation oncologist told me that BC rates are higher-than-average in my county in my state. She mentioned Radon as a possible cause, but I know nothing about this. Even more exercise and fruits and veggies for me!

BRCApos, I'm sorry treatment rough. Hang in there. Thinking of you.

Brimton

thank you for understanding girl53. I'm 56 healthy, so I thought. It just such a process. My sister says the healthcare people know we want it Out ASAP. Why can't they have a quicker approach? More coordinated! I'm thankful for all the support but feel like I have a big C sown on to me now. People are sorry for you but really glad it's not them. Then I always have it floating in the back of my mind. Will I ever be "normal" again. I don't think so. Living with cancer...