27 & Struggling :(

Keepstrong88

I am 27. Found a lump end of August 2015 after ultrasound was told its Fibroadenomas. Biopsy results came back DCIS cancer and would need lumpectomy and three weeks radio therapy. Had op then results come back not only DCIS it was invasive stage 3. Didn't reach lymph node. Worst day of my life I felt sick and still do, I still feel like I'm going to wake up from the nightmare.Putting my mum dad and partner through it too breaks me but I'm lucky to have three rocks next to me. How can this happen to me I finally got to the stage in my life to have kids, I was put in this earth to be a mum. Had fantastic job, buying a house. Being told to get eggs frozen would be an option but still need to meet with the team regarding this.

I had just come off mini pill though and still not had a show/period? Will this affect me successfully getting my eggs frozen?

Having mastectomy thurs nipple sparring and skin sparring with inflatable silicon and mech.

I found out its triple negative and I will need chemo after op. Scared as at 27 it may seem vein but it's important I don't want to loose my hair. I'm drained already and the journey is just starting. Any advise would be good. Is it normal to be angry? Why me I'm not a bad person, I'm healthy never done drugs, always done the right thing? Why me? Is it ok to be petrified but also drained physically and mentally? The war hasn't even started and finding the strength is hard.

Cold cap views and also chemo infidelity views would be great

Love and prayers to you all xx

Moderators

Keepstrong,

We're so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and at such a young age, but really glad you found us! You're sure to find Breastcancer.org a welcoming, knowledgable, and very supportive community of incredible members here to help you through your journey. You're sure to get many responses soon to help you get started.

First, it's VERY normal to be angry, scared, and drained! You'll hear from many members that have experienced the exact same emotions -- all completely understandable.

To discuss with others going through surgery right now, you may want to join in the October 2015 surgery thread. When you're ready for chemo and radiation, there are threads corresponding with your timeline as well.

For some insight from other members on Cold Caps, see the thread on Cold Cap Users Past & Present. There's also helpful information on the main Breastcancer.org site's page on Cold Caps.

There's also a forum for Young Women with Breast Cancer, who understand the fears about fertility problems after chemotherapy. Also, some very helpful info on the main Breastcancer.org site about Fertility and Pregnancy Issues Before and After Breast Cancer.

Also, there's a very helpful Triple-Negative Breast Cancer forum, for you to meet others with a similar diagnosis.

We know this may seem like a lot of info to take in all at once, so read it as you feel you can -- take your time. We're all here for you and please keep us posted on how you're doing!

--The Mods

Edited to add Triple Negative forum link.

Beatmon

of course it is normal to be angry! You are young and will have a long life ahead of you. The drugs are so much better then they were even 10'years ago. The ladies on here with triple neg.,will help support you.

None of this is fun, but you get to where you can tolerate it. Take your meds for pain and nausea....don't try to be strong if you need help. Let your partner and parents help take care of you.

Consider wig and scarf shopping before surgery, it will make it easier on you. But you don't lose your hair with all chemos. Look into cold caps here on be.org. That is one thing I wish I had done.

You will feel somewhat less anxious and a lot less fearful once your plan is all in place and you have seen your oncologist.

Sweet hugs to you.

Brenda

Keepstrong88

thank you xx

Lucy55

Keepstrong..So sorry you are going through this , and at such a young age.. You are the age of my daughters and it's just not fair.. but.. like Brenda said once you have a plan in place you will feel so , so much better.. and one morning after the treatment is over , you will wake up and be shocked and surprised to realize that the happy wonderful life you had before diagnosis is still yours to enjoy.:-) (Hugs)

MusicLover

You have already received great advice but I was wondering this, if your cancer is not in your lymph nodes then you should not be stage 3, maybe you heard them wrong and they said grade 3? Best wishes.

fd1

Hi Keepstrong! Sorry that you are here.

I was hell bent on doing the cold caps too but I'm not sure I'm happy I did. They didn't work for me. In fact, if you are doing AC and Taxol there is very little chance of them working. Not to mention the fact that they are extremely expensive and an additional stress on treatment days! They do work quite well with other chemo protocols - you can see which on their website. My suggestion to you is to invest the money that you would have spent on the caps in some very good wigs.

I also completely relate to your feelings of putting your loved ones through this. I felt like that initially too as I have always been an achiever and a good kid, mainly as a reaction to my brother being severely handicapped. I felt it thoroughly unfair that I should be causing more stress to my parents. I realized though that it wasn't my fault and that it was completely necessary for me to be selfish at that time of my life. I hope that you are able to come to that conclusion too.

Best wishes.

Racy

Welcome Keepstrong. This site is wonderful and you will get enormous support, information and friendships here. There are topics for young ladies at your life stage, triple negative and cold caps.

You can consider getting psychological support to help you through these early months. Talk to you doctor about this.

There is nothing you did to cause your cancer. Sometimes it just happens. If you have a family history, you may get genetic testing to see if that is a factor.

You will learn so much you never wanted to know about cancer, and so much about yourself, what you are capable of and how brave you are.

I understand you not wanting to hurt your family but I bet they will want to do everything possible to make this easier for you. Let them!

Please keep posting. We all care about you and understand how devastated you feel. But hold on to the hope that this is not a death sentence.

Love Racy.

jc254

Keepstrong, using cold caps was one of the best decisions I made during treatment and I invite you join us on the cold cap thread here on bc.org to find out more. You will find lots of advice and tips and a strong support network should you decide to use them. Lots of pictures too! Search for "cold cap users past and present".

fd, I'm sorry they did not work for you. There are many women who have successfully saved their hair while receiving ACT chemo. You are correct that the odds of success are lower on ACT (about 50%) than on other chemo drugs but that's much more than a little chance. The odds of success if receiving TC are close to 90%.

Keepstrong, I know this is almost impossible to believe right now but you will get through this and life will return to normal. Lean on those who love you, that's what they're for.

27heart

Hello, I'm 27 too, I was diagnosed this year in June. Sorry to hear about your dx, it is difficult when we realise life isn't going to turn out the way we had intended for it to be. We can get in touch if you want to, I might be able to share more about my treatment with you. Send me a PM! Hang in there, you're not alone.

Keepstrong88

Thank you everyone

Music lover - I think your right and they said grade 3 not stage 3. What's the difference? I'm so new to this all its like learning a new language xx

FD1 - how old were you when diagnosed?

Racy - thank you, no family history ever for breast cancer I'm the first. I'm still convinced it was the mini pill that done this (dangerous things.) I've read so much TNBC is a death sentence and it's hard to remove that from my head

Everyone else thank you xxx

Racy

Keepstrong, grade 3 means fast moving but stage 3 means it's already moved to several lymph nodes!

Triple negative is not a death sentence but chemo is needed. It can respond well to chemo. You need a great oncologist who will recommend the best treatments for you.

Keep in touch, Racy x.

fd1

I was 30 when when I was diagnosed. It's going to be four years in January!

I do agree that seeing somebody helps. I saw a traditional Chinese doctor in our area who helped me deal with everything through meditation and visualization.

As for the cold caps, the website shows a 36% success rate with ACT - 4/11 had "adequate" hair protection. I met two other women who did it who were on other chemo drugs and had asked to be put on those because of the better chance of keeping their hair with caps. One had hair that thinned considerably and receded but was intact after treatment. She wore head bands to cover the receded part as it grew back. The other had to wear a demi-wig because she lost most of the hair on the top of her head. Once you find out what regimen you will be having, I suggest seeking out others on the cold cap thread that had success with that regimen and ask them exactly how they define that success.

Also, check out the success threads. You will see women who have survived for 5, 10, 15, even 25 years and that includes women with TN. There is hope.

melb44

I wanted to chime in and say that I had AC-T and was very successful. Most people could not even tell I lost hair and it did thin quite a bit. It is a huge time and money investment though so it depends on how important hair is to you. For me, it was very worth it and helped me to feel more like myslef when going through treatment.

Jinx27

Hey Keepstrong88,

I'm 27 as well! Just diagnosed this past September. This site has been my refuge. I'm sorry you have to be here but we can do this together. Many of the members here have messaged me and shared their stories. Don't be afraid to message me. Your are MUCH stronger than you know!

27heart

That makes 3 of us 27s here! And nature lover.. So that'll be 4 of us. Hang in there!

Honeytagh

Hi keepstrong88

I was diagnosed at 32 and somehow I can really understand what you say. I also used cold caps but they didn't work for me. Besides I think it increased my pain and suffering as I witnessed losing my hair despite all the six hours of bearing the cold cap pain. You will have your hair back and enjoy its regrowth.

Keepstrong88 come to threads for TN ladies as they are so supportive. I m on a thread which a great lady named Sylvia started it .

Stay strong. Grade 3 is so much different from stage 3. Grade 3 is usually much more responsive to chemo.

Eibra

hello ladies im 31 diagnosed six months ago , finished my chemo and doing my radiation, life is changing, that suddenly when you want to start your life something happens and let you think about everything, we are blessed and we need to be patient ❤️

nem126

32 at diagnosis, no family history. Life is weird! Just got married a few months ago. Not sure if we will be able to have kids when this is all over or not. But, the Young Women with Breast Cancer board is incredibly helpful. Even though we are rare it's helpful to know we aren't alone.