Feelings about breast cancer awareness month

Newfromny

Bessie I was at GMA yesterday , and it really was so nice to meet other BCO members, we went out for breakfast later thanks to BCO and got to hear each other’s stories and what we’ve all been through, it was so good to meet these strong women. I had a sign 1 year thriver, today is one year since my Dx, and what an awful year it’s been. My lows during chemo when I wanted to give up we’re truly bad, but women here helped me get through it. I’m still not fully recovered from everything,chemo, surgery, radiation, I’ll never be the same, but I’m here so in that way I’m thriving, or at least I’m trying to every day even when it’s hard. I don’t agree with all the pink for one month but some people like Robin Roberts who spoke of depression after treatment really are trying to help

MissouriCatLady

thepinkbirdie - good point, we need more support groups. We need some that meet after 5 pm please, if any hospital or group is listening.

Spookies mom - good article.

One of my friends at work gave me a card today, with Help Fund Breast Cancer Research stamps. I thought that was very nice. There are still things we can do without it being Pinktober. I am just learning about it all, it is one year for me this month. I send cards every other week to a lady I met at radiation with lung cancer, so actually, these stamps come in handy! Support each other.

VL22

I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat packaged food. I work out 4 days a week. My job is very active. I’ve never been over weight or smoked and I got breast cancer. I was stunned and my family was stunned. Jaws literally dropped. I had a woman who is also very health ask me if I drank out of plastic bottles - because what else could it be?? Was it second hand smoke from my dad? Our drinking water?

I now just chalk it up to bad luck and still live my healthy lifestyle. I also gave up alcohol- I’m all in!

I also agree that the most important thing is support. I had some really dark times that I wouldn’t have gotten through without the people here. It’s nice to have somewhere to go where people get it

jredfern2

Well, it gave me a laugh.

Beesie

Scrafgal, I agree that our posts were not inconsistent. There are two sides to the coin. Those who do well through treatment and who successfully move on after their diagnoses should be celebrated. But that should not be the sole face of breast cancer. The difficulties of treatment, the emotional toll, the lasting side effects, the long-term risk we all face, the fact that 20%-30% of us are or eventually will be metastatic... that is the other face of the coin and that should be discussed equally and openly.

Lexica, yes there are studies that support exercise and diet. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle does reduce the risk of breast cancer... and heart disease, and diabetes, and colon cancer, and.... just about every other disease. Yup, people who are healthier tend to live longer. But people who are healthier still develop breast cancer and heart disease and every other disease. I'm all for promoting a healthy lifestyle as a means to reduce health risks, but when it comes to breast cancer, there is no question that the highest risk factors are the ones we can't control. Number one is being a woman. Number two is getting older. Then there are risk factors like breast density. I likely inherited my extremely dense breasts from my mother, who still had dense breasts when she was diagnosed at age 80. Everything I could possibly do from a diet and lifestyle standpoint might reduce by breast cancer risk by 30%. That's not insignificant, but it pales when compared to my post-menopausal extremely dense breasts that increase my risk by as much or more than 200%.

Newfromny, I'm glad you enjoyed being at GMA and meeting the other BCO members. It was a great opportunity to get together and I wasn't being critical of anyone who chose to attend. I'm sorry you've had such a difficult year, and I admire your effort to keep moving ahead. From what you say about where you are right now, maybe it's just me, but "thriving" is not the word I would use. I think that word hides the difficulty of what you've been through this year and downplays your grit and the effort you've made to get through it. "Thriving" makes it sound like it was easy. Just my opinion, but I don't think it was appropriate of GMA to force fit that word onto everyone's experience. Perhaps "Been through hell for a year and but am now on the other side" would have been a more meaningful sign. Thriving will come, but I doubt that many of us thrive as we go through active treatment or as we decompress for a period of time afterwards.

Robin Roberts knows the reality as well as anyone. It sounds like she was trying to the shape the message but wasn't able to or didn't want to rock the boat about all the pink cheerleading

AliceBastable

"Enduring" is the word I would choose.

DivineMrsM

Beesie, what an impressive post. Every point you make is valid.

The use of thriving does seem forced. It feels like another attempt at pushing perfection on women. It's not enough to get through the damn difficulties to get to the other side; a woman must “thrive".

Scrafgal

Beesie,

Your post was great! I think that it did something that is not always done on these boards. It showed respect for everyone and the pain and suffering that we've all experience with this disease, regardless of stage. I don't know what it is like to be stage 4 and won't pretend that I do. That is why the stage 4 boards have exclusivity, to a certain extent, I presume. At the same time, there is no need to marginalize how non-stage 4 women choose to deal with their experience, even if it doesn't suit our particular fancy. What one woman does to deal with her painful experience with breast cancer does not have to be marginalized, just to lift up our MBC sisters, and that is what your post reflects.

Yogatyme

There was a breast cancer oncologist on Jeopardy last night and when Alex asked about breast cancer in men being rare, the doc said “yes, relatively, but I currently have 12 male pts.” So, encourage the men in your life to do self exams.

jbmonco

I’m new to this having been diagnosed on 10/3/19 but the awareness I would advocate for is the cost and financial strain. 15K is my anticipated 2 year out of pocket max. $100k in billing so far. 

ShetlandPony

Agree, jb. There is a word for it: “Financial Toxicity”. Just search that term along with the word “cancer”. Most patients, I suspect, don’t realize what is about to happen to them financially, which means they can get in worse trouble for lack of quick action and planning. I wish newly diagnosed patients would be offered both psychological and financial counseling.

PeppermintPatti

Hello everyone!

I am a 3x breast cancer survivor. My first lumpectomy surgery was November 17, 1998. My 2nd lumpectomy was November 2006 and my 3rd surgery resulted in a double mastectomy in December 2016. I think I can safely say I was triggered during breast cancer awareness month. I deel like I have PTSD. With Covid in our midst and not having a job, I got triggered. I lost my job in May 2019. I got fired after my return from my last reconstruction surgery (I had 4 after the DMx). That's been a nightmare losing my job. I got another job 5 months later then lost it due to Covid.

I can't seem to find the right bra. I feel like I have annoying pains and pinching everyday. I have been dealing with this for many years then all of a sudden it all just got to me and I figured I would reach out here.

I guess I just didn't want to feel so alone. I'm going this week for a gyn appointment which was put off due to Covid. I've been to my oncologist and my primary for check ups and all's well!

I moved upstairs in my own home. New surroundings, new bed. Just feeling a bit sad about getting fired after my last surgery, worrying about money, and hoping to get another job soon. I'm on unemployment and it's running out. I know I'm not alone on this topic.

Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

Patti aka Peppermint Patti

Trishyla

Oh, Patti. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. This truly is the year from hell. I have no real advice except that hopefully, come January, there may be some additional unemployment relief passed. Small comfort, I know.

Sending virtual hugs. Vent here any time you need to. We're here for you.

Trish