Cancer in lung lining fluid + "unclear tiny lytic lesion"

Emilylaughed

Hi everybody—

I could use some reassurance and positive thinking:

My mom was diagnosed with stage 3C breast cancer in October 2012. We went through IV chemo (A/C + Taxotere) followed by a radical mastectomy of the breast, followed by radiation.

She was diagnosed with a residual, localized recurrence about six months later—they found two tiny tumors in the fatty breast tissue around the original area. Those were surgically removed (one was on the surface. Her amazing surgeon found the other one when they kept finding positive margins for cancer trying to figure out what was going on. That was treated with an oral chemo (Taxil) and radiation.

All has been quiet and well for about a year, but she started having trouble taking a deep breath a little over a month ago. That sent her to her PCP who heard fluid in her lungs. We drained it once, and it came back clear of cancer, but there was still a lot of fluid left. Then we drained it again and found cancer cells. (Still breast cancer cells). After meeting with her oncologist, he was encouraging, positive and ready to get her moving on a new treatment plan. He ordered up a pleuradisis and Ibrance following the surgery. He also ordered some body and bone scans for restaging.

We met with a lung surgeon earlier this week, who got her into the OR immediately—the following day (just yesterday) she had the procedure. She'll be in the hospital for a few days as they continue to let the glue set from the procedure and keep draining her dry. She's not bouncing back as quickly as she did after her first surgery, but her first surgery didn't have to do with the way the lungs function. The doctors all keep stopping and telling her that she's doing well, and tonight she looked better than the night before, but she's drugged up on oxycoton and quite dopey.

I find myself sitting on the floor of her empty house tonight while she is in the hospital, reading the results of the bone scan that just posted to her medical records and having a bit of a meltdown. The body scans were good and clear; shows small hernia, gallbladder stones, but no tumors. The bone scan includes the following line, though: "There is a focus of faint uptake identified in the left 5th rib anteriorly where there is a questionable lytic lesion. This may represent a solitary metastasis versus representing posttraumatic changes."

I know better than to jump the gun. Three years ago, I thought I had lost my mom, and I learned a hell of a lot about breast cancer and treatments available for management. Maybe I'm just exhausted. But that line is really freaking me out.

Any words of advice or encouragement? I want to not talk about it with my mom as she recovers from the surgery, but it's all I'm going to be able to think about until the oncologist calls with the results and we get a chance to see him again. In the meantime, any thoughts or generalized encouragement to get me through the weekend/week to come?

Thanks, everybody. Love to you all!

Emilylaughed

Thank you, Rose. Kind and understanding words are incredibly helpful right now—I want to and will be strong for my mom through whatever comes, but you are so right; uncertainty and waiting is the hardest part. The sweet kindness of others has been the most encouraging part of the equation. And through meditation and prayer, along with dogged determination, we just keep on going. Stronger than cancer. And ready to fight.

Emilylaughed

Well, this has been an exciting weekend.

On Saturday, my mom coded at the hospital. Her heart rate started jumping all over the place, up to 210, down to 160, and they couldn't get in touch with her doctor immediately (Saturday afternoon), so they called a code blue. It's amazing to watch doctors and nurses work in sync trying to diagnose and stabilize a patient. It's petrifying when that patient is your mother. Aside from a moment of lightheadedness, she wasn't feeling symptoms of the a-fib and kept insisting to all of the doctors, with a smile and laugh, that if she could just go to the bathroom (she hadn't been able to get her 'plumbing' moving since the surgery.) They got her moved to the cardiac unit and stabilized in 15 minutes. The medicine made her a bit dopey, but within the hour, all of the doctors were beyond pleased with her progress.

That episode put the bone scan results from my mind for 24 hours or so. Today was much quieter. I spent almost 7 hours with her. We chatted, watched TV, she napped and I worked—all in all, a lovely day. Then she asked me if her bone scan results posted. I froze and then did something I'm really regretting—I told her I didn't think so, which was a lie. I don't lie to her. It feels like a white lie, and I just want her to be stronger and out of the hospital before she gets that news, but it feels terrible. She's showing signs of getting stronger, and the doctors all think that she'll be leaving either tomorrow or Tuesday. She's also showing some signs of boredom and started eating again, which gives me a lot of hope that she's actually starting to feel better. They took her off all of her IVs today, and took out one of two tubes that was still draining fluid.

I hope that the lie isn't a hurtful one. I did it to protect her, and to not let her dwell on something that I don't even understand while she can't occupy herself with anything else. But at the same time it just feels wrong. I may call the oncologist tomorrow to see if i can get some more information so that I can have an educated conversation instead of the crazy one that I would likely have without any more info.

Ugh. I just can't quite handle that this is life right now. At least it's dulling out loads and loads of perspective about what is and isn't important in this life!