Feeling overwhelmed.

MandyR26

I don't know how to do this.. So I'm sorry I messed something up, or didn't post this in the right area. I am honestly looking for guidance. My Grandma ( who is 91) just got diagnosed with breast cancer. And I am mad.. I'm pissed off, and my heart is broken at the same time. I was so over come with emotion when I found out I broke down crying. I'm not ready to say good bye to her.. I'm mad because the past month she's been in a rehab hospital ( since she fell) and NO ONE noticed or saw anything then?!?! She under went so many tests so I don't understand that aspect. She JUST celebrated her 91st birthday this past Tuesday, and we found out this Wednesday. Up until now, i used to think my grandma was unbreakable. Her life is one made for a movie, but shes had some health problems.. She has memory issues, and everything else.. but this! CANCER.. She has overcome so much already and this is how it will end for her?!?! I just want to punch someone.. or cry until I can't breathe.. I don't know which I want to do. I need hope. I need to know that despite her age Doctors will still do everything they can. That they will at least look into options for her.. I need to know that... Anyone else been in this boat. I feel so confused.. I should also note that I've been really lucky in the aspect that none of my family members have had cancer, I never had to deal with it up until now.. So all these emotions are new for me. I am so lost. .

ReneeinOH

I am sorry to hear about this. My mom got BC in her 60s, had a mastectomy and radiation, and did beautifully. She died just shy of her 81st b-day, and it wasn't from cancer. The fact that your g-ma is in her 90s may make this kind of treatment not possible (the older you are, surgery may not be advisable). Her cancer may be found early enough that, given her age, they may not be too worried (that it is an immediate threat). It is important to know it is not cancer in the breast that kills, but if it leaves the area, it can get into the organs or bones--that is what threatens life.

Knowing more about what kind of cancer was found, the size (which helps to inform staging), would be helpful to give you more specific feedback.

Learning more about the diagnosis and treatment process will reduce the fear you have (BCO has great articles), and can help you guide your g-ma through the process and help her make decisions right for her. Folks here can also be a great resource, and support system. Good luck and sending positive thoughts. Renee

WinningSoFar

My dear aunt was 99 when it was suspected she had breast cancer. She died later that year, but not from cancer. Maybe your grandma's cancer is slow growing and won't take her. AT her age, her cells aren't growing that fast. I hope she lives the full life that God gave her.

MandyR26

Thank you guys so much! She goes back to the Doctor in a few weeks to see what stage, options are, ect. I'm hoping for the best, but a part of me is bracing myself for the worst. Just feeling extremely helpless. The stories here about these amazing women is giving me some more hope. I will keep do my best to keep you guys in the loop.. with a 10 year old son, and a niece arriving any day now things are gonna get a little busy. But the only thing I do know for sure is if things do get bad.. and the outlook looks bad.. she will not be dying in a hospital. She will be spending her last good months with her family. We owe her that much.

Moderators

Dear Mandy,

We're really sorry to hear about your grandma but also really glad to see that you've found this kind and compassionate community.

You might also like to join the Family, Friends, Caregivers, and Supporters Forum

We're keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

From the Moderators

susan3

sorry to hear. Life is very tough. The valleys are no fun. Took care of my mother in law with brain cancer in her 80s. As tuff as it was, we had many sweet moments together. She loved it when I rubbed lotion all over her cute little body after a shower. It was also a massage. She just sat there with a smile on her face. Some moments even in the valleys are beautiful. Good luck and God bles