My mother wants me to die.

EbonyEyes

Just heard something that makes me want to die. My ultrasound showed two suspicious areas so I'm having a biopsy in a few days. Of course, I'm terrified I'm going to be mutilated and/or die. I confided my fears to my mother and she exploded in anger and told me it's my own fault for being so big busted and she hoped I would die. Yes, I have a very big bosom and hers is very small and I've always known she wanted to be bigger. And she has always been petty, narcissistic, and jealous. But I never knew it was anything like this. I am devastated, especially since I am the one who takes care of her. I feel like giving up. How do you hang on after hearing something like this?

MissBee123

EbonyEyes--It sounds like you and your mother have some issues to work out between the two of you that are not related to your current health concerns. What you need right now are people who will support you unconditionally. If your mother is not that person, then I would refrain from involving her further at this point; it is not worth the stress for either of you. Find someone else, be it a good friend, partner, sibling, etc. who you know will give you what you need.

If, however, you think your mother may have used anger to mask her fear (a very common reaction) you should begin with the end in mind and tell her what you want: "Mom, right now I need your love and support. I need you to be here for me and not place blame or raise your voice. I am scared enough as it is and what I need more than anything is someone to tell me they love me and will help me through, no matter the outcome."

Best of luck to you.

dlb823

EbonyEyes ~ You mentioned that you're your Mother's caregiver, which leads me to believe she has her own serious health issues, and is probably on meds, either of which can cause those sorts of outbursts, which are probably not all indicative of her true feelings. So I would say, as hard as it might seem at the moment, try to discount or forget her outburst. Chalk it off to her pain or her meds talking -- not her true, innermost feelings.

MissBee also gave you excellent advice. If your Mom isn't going to be the support person you need right now, find someone else who will be.

Hopefully, your biopsy will turn out to be B9.

ksusan

In another thread, I think you said your mother has dementia. If this is the case, it's her dementia talking. Ignore it--it isn't real.

queenmomcat

Another "This is your mother's dementia speaking, not your mother." This might be something else to ask when you go in--emotional support for you.