STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Kikomoon

Illimae,

I don’t remember being asked about being diabetic but my PCP did write in my notes that I needed to lose weight, but couldn’t tell me to my face? What a putz. I’m trying to find a new one.

Rah2464

Kikomoon I don't believe your coworker can qualify as a friend with that behavior. I cannot imagine any reason to berate someone that has been through significant treatment. Obviously your coworker was dealing with something else and dumped on you. How immature and insensitive. Do not let this bully push you out, only go out if you wish to do so. I am sorry this person has added toxicity to your work environment. I think you have to discount their comments because they were rooted in some other issue.

illimae

Kikomoon, is it possible to get ACA insurance or Medicaid and apply for SSDI to cover you, if you choose to leave work? I struggled a bit too with brain mets. When I couldn’t remember or figure out how I filtered raw data for an important budget spreadsheet, I gave 3 months notice for my employer to find someone for me to train to take that over. I was fortunate that working for the state allowed me to medically retire with insurance in place and while it was hard leaving the friends and routine, being retired is really great, especially no alarm clock and freedom to do whatever I like.

Kikomoon

Thank you Rah and Mae for your replies. Well I went in person to the office today and things were fairly normal. I know she was just having a miserable Monday. I do think I need to work on my communication, I'm always open to constructive criticism and making changes to improve my performance. So I re-finished the thing I was working on for her and re-sent the wrap up email to be much much clearer, which probably could have spared me the drama in the first place. Not excusing her behavior but she admitted she should have approached it differently and she feels like our superiors do not listen to her concerns or appreciate her. She feels like everyone else (not just me) gets special attention. So yeah, she has some issues and I want to be there to listen. I am not the only one she goes off on occasionally, even our boss has learned to brush it off / ignore it. She is fabulous at her job. Her going off Is probably why he doesn't listen to her though.

Then, my other coworker gave me something to work on where I have to use my brain and be creative, and that's good. So obviously, she thinks I'm doing fine. Everything I do gets checked, in case I do start making mistakes. Although we all try to check each other's work before it goes out the door.

Mae, I could do long term disability and ACA or DH's health insurance although it's not very good which is why we're on mine. Actually with all my treatment it's probably a wash for me, but The occasional health concern for him would be pretty expensive. I think the ACA has better options. I just hate to take a pay cut now and tighten my belt before I have to, but I am starting to really think about it. I will run the numbers again.

DivineMrsM

Kiko, glad to hear the situation is working itself out. Your coworker friend might do well to take a class or course or read a book on how to make her work accomplishments more visible to the higher ups/management/boss/superiors. The work that women do is often minimized or unacknowledged. Women's concerns are often trivialized. There are strategies that can be used to help correct this and it could lead to less frustration on the coworkers behalf. There are so many subtle ways that others, especially men, take credit for the work a woman does including stealin their ideas and passing them off as their own. Women are conditioned to accept non-recognition, not make waves, stay in their lane, know their place. She could learn some new techniques to help avoid some of that rather than take it out on you.

GR4C1E

Alice-that made me laugh. Thanks. GoldensRBest-I think MORE wine might be the sollution. Here - I thought I was doing cancer wrong, when I'm actually probably doing wine wrong! I'm going to conduct my own medical expirements ASAP!

ctmbsikia

Met with the NP today at the surgical oncology office. I was in and out in record time. 23 minutes. My BS is out on medical leave. She had a fall and is injured. I liked the NP, just read her notes, no errors. I had no concerns, no pain today, and she was fine with me waiting another month or three to get the mri order done she had to give me. Due in Jan 2022 but I don't go back until May, so not going in January. She was fine with it as long as I have it done by May! Yes, really like her. I scheduled my next appt with her. Only thing was the nurse took my BP 3 times. I do not have high blood pressure but it was 160/80. Best be a fluke and nothing new!! Big surprise, I have been worked up over many things lately, one of which was meeting her. I have another appointment in a few weeks, lets hope that reading will go back to where it usually is. Hope you all have a good weekend. So glad to get another appt behind me!!

GR4C1E

ctmbsikia - I'm glad you like your NP. I had a situation where I didn't like mine and it was stressful. I have an NP in my new office that I abslutely adore and it matters!

About the BP thing, I'm usually around 110/70, but I had the same weird reading in the office once. The nurse kept asking me if I was upset, stressed or if I just sprinted across the parking lot! None of those things were happening! But, my BP was oddly high for some reason. That was a year ago and it hasn't happened since. I think you're right, it's probably just a fluke.

bcincolorado

I prefer the NP in my neuro office better than the doctor really. Less intimidating and feel like she listens better really. Do not know if it is because she is woman and the doc is a man or what. Hate to be sexist either.

Sarah_78

I don't even know if I am right here to rant about the following things but I have to get it off my chest.

Two things drove me insane today. First one is the gym subscription they prolonged without my consent. I was in the process of diagnosis and life was busy and full of unknowns kind of hell, they wrote me an e-mail if I'd like to go on, which I haven't had time to go over in detail. I thought they wouldn't prolong when I didn't answer, I was wrong.

So today when I see them drawing money from my account, i call the gym and tell them "I was going through cancer diagnosis and now treatment so I can't come to work out because of infection risk, please cancel my subscription." They asked me "to prove it."

I got so upset. Who would anyone lie about something like that? As if there isn't enough stuff to organise/remember, now I have to get a letter from my onc to prove I am going through cancer treatment for the stupid gym office. *sigh*

Then I call my parents to have a nice chat, see my father got upset with me for something I said 2 days after chemo when i barely had energy to talk and he kept on asking about ultrasound results which I didn't know. Give me a break....

I don't want to get a free pass to anything because I got unlucky while some cells were dividing, but is it maybe possible to be a little more tolerant for a little while at least? No one known how it is to go through such a hard treatment and seems like they keep on putting more burden for the sake of just doing it.

Done ranting, thanks for anyone who read it,

Sunshine99

Sarah, I'm sorry, but isn't it nice when we can come here to rant? No one judges, no one tells us to get over it. I'm thankful for this thread. We don't expect anyone to try and fix anything but it just feels good to let loose sometimes, right?

I hope the rest of today is better. If not, come back and rant some more. I may just have one of my own!

Carol

Sarah_78

Indeed it is a great relief Sunshine, thanks for pointing it out to me :-)

AliceBastable

Sarah_78, it's time for you to write a scathing email to that gym and CC to their corporate headquarters, the Better Business Bureau, your state's consumer watchdog agency, and your local newspaper and television news stations. Then tell your bank to stop the monthly withdrawals because it wasn't authorized by you.

bcincolorado

Sarah they cannot ask you to prove anything and it is against a lot of medical rules for them to even ask you to get them something. The fact you told them on the phone they renewed without your permission along should be enough as well. I know here one of our local news stations helps to "intervene" when someone has issues like this and they hound people. In case with someone who had issues with a home repair person and they did it the contractor even ended up getting arrested after their investigatiion was over. Worth a shot at least and let someone else do the leg work for you and the fighting on your behalf.

Sarah_78

Unfortunately my older contract has a clause that says it extends if you don't cancel subscription 2 months before it runs out. I am living in Germany and this is default situation with many contracts (especially mobile providers).

But in this particular case, I have another clause that is about "special cancelation due to health issues". You'd expect me telling that I am going through a treatment would be enough, but no, they want me to prove it because they are robots stuck in their stupid processes.

I will make sure to write a complaint to their head quarter. It is a very renowned gym chain, expensive too. Now I see their price wasn't justified. They didn't even use a bit of common sense to be customer oriented.

The rules in the States sound much better though. I am glad not everywhere it is so stupid.

cm2020

I agree that it is nice to have somewhere to rant. Sarah I am very sorry the gym is being such a prick. I hope they make it right.

denny10

Perhaps we could all write the gym a letter on your behalf ,explaining what it's like to be surviving with cancer! Would that be proof enough?

I share your outrage, rant on if you need .

bcincolorado

We have a sign on our door "no soliciting". Two different people came to the door today trying to sell stuff. One was solar panels and another was a door to door "roof inspection" stuff. We have a locking storm door so did not open it (COVID). DH told them THERE IS A SIGN!!!!!! Do these people think it does not apply to them or something????? If we do not know you do not ring our doorbell.

Sunshine99

BC, we have a NO SOLICITING sign, too. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We used to have a dog who would go nuts when we told him to "Be nice!" What people didn't know was that it was usually "Be nice to the kitty!" He would start barking because he thought the neighbor's cat was out front. It came in handy if someone came to the door and i was holding this crazy Airedale Terrier by the collar, telling him to "Be nice!"

Now, I just look at the security camera. If I don't know the person or I'm not expecting a package or service - I don't answer. Unless, of course it's a Girl Scout. LOL

Spookiesmom

You have to wonder if they can read

exbrnxgrl

I do not have a no soliciting sign but my video doorbell lets me see and speak to anyone who rings my bell, even when I’m not home! I feel no obligation to answer the door to anyone I’m not expecting or do not know.

tinkerbell65

I am upset today. I finished radiation a month ago, and was supposed to see my radiation oncologist last week, for a final appointment. I had an appointment in the morning. A few days before, the office called me, asked if I could come in the afternoon instead. Frustrating, because I had an opportunity to see my cardiologist that day, but didn't because I had the Rad appointment. I agreed to switch to the afternoon time, even though that kind of messed up my day.

Then, two days before, another phone call, the radiation oncologist is now only going to be at that hospital one day a week, and they had to change it to Tuesday (today) . OK, so I scheduled it for 8AM, I have appointments at work from 10AM to 7PM, so it would be a long day, but let's get this over with.

THen last night, at 6PM, they called AGAIN, and said that the doctor was not going to be at that location tomorrow morning. My choice was to reschedule or see him today at the other location. The other location was in the opposite direction from my office, So that wasn't going to work, and I am not cancelling work clients. They offered me an appointment with a different doctor. No, if this is my last appointment, I need the continuity of care, need to address the same issues we had been talking about. The person who called made it clear that it wasn't the doctor doing this, but "the group" that was dealing with various doctor's schedules and trying to cover the two locations.

I am scheduled now for next week - the 4th time this has been scheduled in two weeks.

It might not seem like a big deal for a doctor's office, but do they assume that just because I have cancer, I am sitting around doing nothing, and can come to the office at the drop of a hat? When I was going to radiation, I worked out an easier schedule at the office, since I started each day at the hospital before going to work. But now I am scheduled to work more hours. I can be flexible with my time, but I don't like cancelling and switching work clients because my doctor's office is having scheduling difficulties. I still have to follow up with my surgeon, plastic surgeon, cardiologist, and medical oncologist. I schedule doctor's appointments on my days off, or in the mornings before work. I am not feeling great, I am tired all the time, and I am doing the best I can. Is it too much to ask that a doctor's office treat me like my time matters?

ctmbsikia

That is very frustrating and upsetting. FOUR TIMES!!!???

In another life I worked in service for a heating oil company. On the high volume days of no heat calls coming in we would have to reschedule the maintenance appointments that were made so we could put that additional tech on the street for the emergencies. We did have a policy that if we cancelled you once, we would not reschedule you again. We did our best to keep the customers happy and warm under sometimes very trying conditions (weather/cold/sickness, etc). I don't miss that stressful job , at all. But, I certainly wish these medical people would know that there are people like you that are juggling treatment, work, family, and tat yes, your time is valuable. Hope you cleared and out of there next week tinkerbell.

Sarah_78

tinkerbell65 I am sorry that you have to go through this. They should learn to put their shit together (excuse my French) and not make it even more frustrating for you, having to deal with cancer was enough as it is. It sounds like whoever organises the appointments is simply not doing their job properly.

Hang in there, once you are finished with these, it will be a distant memory and maybe one day you can reflect back and even find it amusing :-)

Today after waiting 2 hours in the hospital for the doctor to call me and check my labs, I simply left the hospital. I told the nurse at the reception "I have waited enough." No one called back yet so let's see how they will deal with it. I can't agree more to your remark about them thinking "she has cancer, what other job might she have anyway, just let her wait". Well, we should show them they are wrong!

Harley07

@tinkerbell - that is ridiculous and excessive!. Sometimes I wonder what the Healthcare offices are thinking. An occasional reschedule I can understand but My MO rescheduled an appointment last spring 3 times over 3 business days. The third time I cancelled and waited a few weeks to calm down. When I did reschedule I insisted on a Tele-health visit. I work full time and schedule the appointments on my lunch hour. When the doctor office reschedules to another day or time I have to make other arrangements to cover customer calls. My BCS rescheduled last week. I get that this can happen but I wasnt able to make the rescheduled time so I cancelled. I may or may not reschedule.

bcincolorado

When you are juggling medical appointments it is not always easy either for rescheduling either!! Around our house we always to have to double check DH does not have an appointment if they are moving one of mine.

The majority of the office staff at my MO office is working remote too. Does not help when the person who "checks you in" has no clue on anything else and then you wait.........and wat.....wait.

AliceBastable

Tinkerbell's, that's so maddening! When I did radiation, the regular RO went on vacation about week 4 and I never saw him again. But I didn't like him in the first place, so for me it was no big deal except the fill-in looked like Jabba the Hutt and sounded like Sidney Greenstreet. I got all the information when I met with his nurse each week, and the RO meetings were about two minutes. My last appointment was with Dr. Jabbathehutt Substitute, and was as short and routine as every other, but ended with "If you develop any problems, call us, but otherwise you're done."

Sunshine99

Alice, your descriptions cracked me up! Years ago, I had a sort of interview lined up. A friend told me that this guy looked (and had the affect) of Mr. Spock from Star Trek. I almost laughed when I met him. She was spot on in her description of him.

Luckily, I like my MO. I met him when I had my first cancer, but didn't have radiation that time. I met him again with my mets diagnosis, and he remembered me. Amazing. I liked his nurse pretty well (except that she called me "honey"). I only saw him for the 8 sessions I had, but he was very informative and showed me the actual pictures of my mets and the places they were going to radiate.

I have a real pet peeve with meetings that start late because someone else is running late. I made the effort to get there on time, so barring some extreme circumstance, tough beans for the person who couldn't get there on time. START THE DAMN MEETING WHEN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO START!!!" OK, rant is over (for now). I'll be back with my next one. Stay tuned...

sbelizabeth

Sunshine99, I'm right there with you. When I hear "We'll just wait a few minutes for those who are on their way," I want to climb onto the table and screech, "START THE MEETING!" Why should the room wait for those who can't manage their time?

When I was a manager I used to keep a list of "The Bests." Here are a few:

• The best answer to an interview question of "why would this nursing job be a good fit for you?"
  • "I'm a man, and I won't get pregnant."
• The best answer to "why are you late for work?"
  • "I was in the emergency department getting defibrillated."
• The best excuse for calling off a shift two weeks in the future:
  • "My septic tank is full of shit and needs pumping out."

I'm so happy to be out of the management of people...

Beesie

Real time vent. I'm at the ER with my mother. She's 97, has Alzheimer's and fell this morning. She falls often but this is the first time she's hurt herself - dislocated shoulder and hopefully nothing more but don't know yet.

Her LTC called an ambulance and I scooted over to meet her at the hospital. But I couldn't see her. Because she was admitted on an ambulance stretcher, she had to be assigned a room in the ER. Of course all the ER rooms were filled and their insane rule is that no visitors are allowed until the patient is in a room. I had to wait 2 hours before I could even see her, while she was lying in stretcher holding area. If I'd brought her in rather than her arriving via ambulance, I could have waited with her in the ER waiting room the whole time. This policy means the most serious patients - those who can't walk into the ER - are deprived of having someone with them when they first arrive and probably are most scared and when the hospital needs to get information, which my mother certainly would not be able to provide.

Anyway now she has her ER room and she's off getting a CT scan and x-rays. I’ve heard that it’s a long wait for results.

It will be a long day.