Overwhelmed

Cantbelievethis

Hello. I can't believe I'm posting on this board. I was diagnosed with IDC a month ago. Grade 1, no LVI, no Lymph node involvement. They thought it was 1.5 cm but after my lumpectomy they said it was 2.7 which puts it at stage 2. I'm 54 and in very good health, active, exercise, don't smoke, rarely sick. My mother had breast cancer diagnosed at 55. The plan we originally developed was to have lumpectomy and radiation and I had come to terms with that, I was doing really well emotionally. But being stage 2 has blown me away and changes things. I'm waiting for the results of the oncotype test to see if I should have chemo. Also waiting for genetics to come back which would change the recommendation to BMX. But I'm think about doing that anyway since I heard how big it was. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1980 with no lymph node involvement, and died in 1988 of metastatic breast cancer. I always thought that I might get it too, but always assumed it would be caught super early: mammograms every year, visits with the breast clinic every 6 months, months breast exams. I have super lumpy and dense breasts to they are always doing core biopsies and needle biopsies and ultrasounds on me. Nothing caught this thing. Radiologists always note how hard my mammos are to read. I gave myself a breast exam the morning I went in for a ammogram and so did the breast doctor, and neither of us felt this lump. But it was an inch big! The surgeon said since it is low grade it was likely growing for 3 years which means several mammos didn't see it. So I'm terrifed. I always thought the difference between me and my mom would be that mine would be caught really early and cured, but now I don't know what is going to stop me from going down her path. She was given tamoxifen and the cancer still killed her. I guess I thought technology would protect me and it hasn't. And neither did all my vigilance. The doctors are saying that all I need is the lumpectomy and radiation and chance of recurrance is low, but what about my other breast, what is lurking in there that they can't see or feel?  I gave myself a breast exam this morning and now that I know what I missed I don't know what the heck I'm feeling cause I'm all lumps.  I'm fighting with the doctors to give me MRI's as well and they are reluctant but I think I will get them. I don't want to overreact and have a BMX when the doctors don't think it's necessary but I'm scared to death and don't trust that a new one will be picked up early. I have to decide in a few weeks because they have to start radiation if I'm going that way. I'm so overwhelmed and have being crying on and off for the past 3 days. A mastectomy seems so brutal and mutilating and I'm terrified of having one, and the doctors say I don't need one, but how will the next one be caught? But how high really is the risk of a new primary cancer? I hear so many different things. If it's a really small risk maybe I can get away with adding MRI's and extra vigilance, but if it's high....I can't imagine going through this again. Please help me sort this out, I'm on overload.

keepthefaith

CBT, sorry you found yourself here. My mother had BC also, 21 yrs ago and she is fine. I always worried that I would be next...But, don't assume because you lost your Mom 8 yrs later, that you will lose to BC too. My half sister had BC at 27 and she is now 45. We all had different TX's even though it was caught at early stages. Once you get all of your test results back, you will know what your choices are. Meanwhile, try to keep yourself busy and come here for support, if you need to . I'm sure you are feeling over-whelmed and worried. That comes with it. I think we all wonder why and how we ended up with BC. You are doing all of the right things. Keep being your own advocate. Get second opinions if you need to. Follow your gut. You can do this! Best wishes.

Cantbelievethis

Thanks for the words of support. Genetics just called and I don't have any known breast cancer genes. That's really good news. Still a tough decision though. I wish I could get clear information on how high my risk of recurrance or new breast cancers  is with my dense breasts and family history, but no gene. Still a tough decision on whether to go BMX or radiation. Lumpectomy was done 2 weeks ago.

momand2kids

Hi

I also had a 2.5 lump which they thought would be 1.2 before the lumpectomy-- remember, stage 2 is considered early stage-- I did a lumpectomy, then had the oncotype test which came back in the gray area- so had 4 rounds of chemo and radiation and 5 years of hormonal therapy. My surgeon had me do an mri of both breasts before surgery to make sure we were not missing anything-- all clear...

So, that was almost 7 years ago-I don't worry about it returning-I feel like I did everything I could with the information I had at the time. It was a very discrete lump so easy to remove and the cosmetic results are great. I had no node involvement.

Many here suggest lumpectomy first, then see how you feel. My advice is go with whatever decision is going to let you sleep at night. That is how I made the chemo decision. I never considered mastectomy because it was never offered. I don't think about it too much any more....

Somewhere on the boards is an analysis by Beesie about lumpectomy vs. mastectomy--it is worth a read as you try to make a decision.

good luck

Moderators

Hi Cantbelievethis,

We're so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and that you have to be here, but we're really glad you found us. As you can already see, our amazing Community is made up of some really awesome, supportive and knowledgeable folks.

Please let us know how you decide. Sending a big, warm welcome.

--The Mods

Englishmummy

Hello Can't believe,

I too had a 2.2cm lump (also had a smaller one on the left side) I decided to go with a NSBMX with immediate recon (I am on 41 and for me flat and free would not have worked psychologically - as much as I wish I could say it would). That proceedure is what made the most sense to me - but I was given a choice of lumpectomy or mastectomy. I would not advocate it to anyone as it is such a personal decision BUT I am one month out and have healed really well, it was no where near as painful as I thought and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was the right course for me. My breasts were also very dense and the fear of missing something was just too overwhelming for me.

I did not have radiation (it was not recommened) and I was lucky enough to score low on an onco type so now I 'only' have to take Tamoxifen. I am confident in the decisions I made but like us all, I don't have a crystal ball, but I do have faith in my surgeon and the oncologist.

I can see why this would be so very distressing to you but you are not your mum, and as hard as it is to seperate yourself from your mum's experience and your experience with your mum, try to. Almost 30 years has passed:  pathology is far more accurate now and medicine is always changing. As those before me said, "avocate for yourself," make sure everyone understands the reasons behind your fear - your concerns ARE valid.

Just as an FYI, I read somewhere - wish I could remember where, it was a medical article but I have read so many they blurr -  that 2+cm is the one of the most common sizes of diagnosed lumps, especially amongst those who find lumps via self exams. I think there are lots of us out there. Take a moment, breathe easy (easier said than done, I know) and re-group.

I hope the light shines through for you and you find some sense of peace to push forward with your decision.