Waiting and wondering (and hoping)...

Tam-iam

Hi. This is my first post. I truly appreciate everyone who posts on this forum and all the valuable info on the site. If my results come back benign (fingers crossed) I will still have gained so much important information to apply to my future breast care an screening.

My situation is - I am 49 years old, pretty healthy, with dense breast tissue. I had some cysts about 5 years ago and wound up going through diagnostic tests, including a biopsy, at that time. All was fine.

Had a mammogram in January - results clear. Found a lump late in March. I was already scheduled for my yearly at ob-gyn for early May, so I waited until then to be seen so I could go through a cycle in the mean time. I realized during the intervening time that this didn't feel like the lumps I had before. When I went to my apt. my NP sent me for diagnostic U/S and Mammo. The mammo didn't find anything other than a "slight asymmetry" at the area of palpable concern. The U/S was a different story. The report said Bi-rads 4 - Irregular hypoechoic 2cm mass, irregular margins, increased vascularity corresponding to the area of palpable concern - suspicious for malignancy.

I had the biopsy on Saturday and now I wait. This time around the techs have been very different. Not reassuring like when I went in for the cysts. Definitely getting a different vibe. I asked the radiologist who did my biopsy what the odds are that it is benign and she said, "it is very concerning." And essentially implied in follow up conversation that she expects it to be cancer, but thinks it is caught early. She encouraged me to hope for the best because sometimes even the ones that look very suspicious come back benign. She also mentioned that the tumor was "very hard" and that was a bad sign.

From almost the beginning I've been feeling this wouldn't be going my way and I've been prepared for bad news, but the waiting has been eroding my emotional resolve. I guess I just needed to share my situation with you all to help myself get through this waiting. Just typing all this out has me feeling a little less stress. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm sending hopeful and healing thoughts to all of you dealing with BC and to everyone going through the testing phase.

Beatmon

Hoping for B9 results for you. The waiting is so hard. Lots of ladies write on here and are lucky and get good biopsy results. Praying you will be able to join their ranks. If not, stay close for our support

Tam-iam

Thanks, Beatmon. The support here is amazing.

plumster1

Tam-iam, the waiting really is the hardest part. Hopefully, you will have a B9 result. But, if not, the information I've received her the past two weeks since I've been diagnosed has been so comforting. Try to keep busy and don't let your mind run wild. Hugs!

Tam-iam

Thank you, Plumster. I've been lurking here a few weeks, so I followed and hoped for B9 results as you were waiting on yours. I was so sorry to see you and a few other ladies not get the answer you were hoping for. You have been amazing in your strength and encouragement of others since I've been on the forums.

plumster1

Tam-iam, that is so sweet of you to say. Of couse no one wants this dx. But, so far, this overwhelming process has been manageable. I think a positive outlook and attitude goes a long way. Keeping busy and focusing on happy things - like family etc..is where it's at

plumster1

Tam-iam, when do you hear your results?

Tam-iam

I was told most likely either today or tomorrow (Wednesday). So that leaves tomorrow, unless they are backed up.

plumster1

Fingers crossed then, let us know

Suladog

Tam-Lam,

Holding good thoughts for you

Tam-iam

The results came in and, unfortunately, it is invasive ductal carcinoma. There was no additional information as far as grade, hormone receptors, etc. I'm being referred to a breast surgeon and I guess we'll take it from there. I don't know the surgeon personally yet, but she comes very highly recommended from multiple sources.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. I'll get through this. Sending positive vibes to all of you out there waiting for your own results.

Anonymous

So sorry to hear your news Tam-iam. You are in the right place for support. Please keep us updated as you get more information. Sending best wishes and gentle hugs to you!!

plumster1

Tam-iam, I am so sorry to hear your news. I know how overwhelming post diagnosis time is. I actually got on the stick and networked with my current doctors I love and friends and got multiple doctor recommendations. I saw three between a Friday and Monday and it was really beneficial for me. They each said similar tx plans but I got to see who I meshed with best nd I learned a lot about my specific tumor. Once I felt that comfort in the doctor and tx. My anxiety went way down!!! I'll be thinking good calming thoughts for you!

Italychick

Tam-Iam, so sorry. One thing I tell myself every day is most women get through treatment, and then go on to have normal lives. It is my mantra, and I hope things work out well for you. When I read forums, I make myself acknowledge that mantra, and recognize most women never post and it gets treated and doesn't come back.

Best of luck and please keep letting us know how it is going!

Tam-iam

Thank you, ladies, so much for your responses. It really does help keep me from feeling alone in this. I have my first appt with breast surgeon on Friday. I was very pleased to get in so quickly. There is a second surgeon in town that gets recommendations also, so I may set up an appt with her, as well. But I think I will wait until after my Friday appt to see how that one goes.

CAMommy

I'm sorry about your results. The radiologist prepared me for my results to be cancer too. The waiting was harder than actually hearing I have DCIS. I think knowing I had a good chance of it made it less traumatic for me when I got the news.

Good luck on your journey. I meet with my surgeon tomorrow

Anonymous

Tam-iam, hope your appointment went well on Friday. Thinking of you!!

Tam-iam

Thanks to you both. The appt with my surgeon went as well as possible I think. She was able to tell me that it is HR+/PR+ and HER-. Although it didn't have a grade yet, she said it is slow growing. I go for all the tests this week, bone scan, blood test, x-ray and MRI, then meet with her again on Thurs. She believes it is still early and there is a good chance I won't need chemo, just radiation, as I am likely to choose lumpectomy.

Like so many have said, some of the stress truly does fall away once you meet with the surgeon and begin to develop a plan for treatment. It is still very scary and serious, but now I am feeling much more informed and in control of my health.

plumster1

Good to hear tam-iam!

Anonymous

The possibility of no chemo is great news!

Love the name you chose. It makes me crave green eggs and ham.

Hope you can rest more peacefully over the weekend.