Had 12 surgeries in past 3 years,so demoralized, not done yet!

macb04

I have written so much about this awful reconstruction process, short form is uni mx and had planned DIEP. Changed my mind, 5 fat grafting procedures with loss of most, but not all, of the fat with 2 severe infections because the rads wreaked my skin. The fat grafting helped my skin, as did 80 sessions of Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy. Now had a TE put in April 9th, over my pectoral muscle. It is working well, but now I have to plan my implant exchange and lift the real right breast. Having the implant exchange in August and then the lift of my real right breast in mid September or Nov 1st 2015. Have a different PS to do the lift than my PS who is doing the exchange as he is not comfortable/experienced doing vertical lifts and the new PS is. Saw the new PS, she felt she had to make sure I knew that I wouldn't ever get any real matching or symmetry. I told her I want to look ok naked, like not be a freak that gets stared at if I am changing in the locker room at my gym which has no private changing areas. I said I didn't expect to parade around in the nude, just want to be able to pass quick muster as I am changing. I didn't think that was too much to ask, too much to expect. Apparently she wants me to know it is hopeless to expect more than to look ok in a bra. I am really bummed, told her I get I will never be comfortable in my own skin. Then she finally picked up on me being bummed out, then she seemed unhappy as well. Well what did she expect, that I would be overjoyed to have an additional 2 expensive, painful surgeries, bringing the whole shitty thing to a grand total of 15 surgeries, and still look fucked up? I will go through with this stinking mess. I know I could stop, but I can't until I have done every last thing I can think of to get as much normality as I can.

HATE THIS, HATE THIS,HATE THIS, HATE THIS, HATE THIS, HATE THIS, HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scary

I'm so sorry to hear this.  I will be going on surgery number 5 in 18 months, so i know how you feel.  i will make a new post for it.  praying for you.

macb04

Hey scary, so sorrhy to hear of your troubles as well. It totally sucks doesn't it. Wish I had money to smooth the way. Always coming up short of cash and struggling to pay things.

Hey, how is it going with your new breast/implant. ?? I have an implant exchange scheduled now for August 6th at noon. Have to then pick a surgery date for lift of my real right. It will either be September 17th, or November 1st. Am wondering if I will be ok to have the lift done so close to implant exchange. PS said minimum of 6 weeks between the two. It is exactly 6 weeks by the calendar.Last time in April had a persistent low grade infection that I couldn't clear with antibiotics and finally just slammed it with 4 sessions of IV Vitamin C spread over 2 weeks. Finally then my low grade fevers and warmth /redness subsided. Planning for much of the same again. Problem with that is it cost 200 dollars per IV C, none of which is covered by insurance. The damn insurance is more than willing to pay for useless antibiotics (Cipro or Levofloxacin as I am allergic to Clindamycin and Keflex), but not something that actually works without side effects. Many women have gotten infections and wound up hospitalized, which I am sure costs a bundle. You would think the insurance would see 200 dollars per IV C as a bargain. What backward idiots.

Elizabethaw

Macb04, I'm so sorry you're struggling. I share your standards of trying to look normal upon quick view in a locker room! I know exactly how that feels. I'm only on surgery number 4--scheduled for September--so I'm nowhere near your level of frustration. I'm sorry you've got insurance woes on top of everything. I hope things improve for you!!!

macb04

Hi Elizabeth, right, isn't it not too much to ask? This fall I will have so much done in so short a period of time. I get run down and tired after having surgery, anesthesia and antibiotics. Hopefully by Christmas I will be much better, nearly done then. What are you having done?