Anxiety

mira845

i guess I am freaking out. I am still in the waiting game. Diagnosed a few weeks ago, multiple opinions, did an MRI last week and have an appointment Tuesday next week with an MO, BS and PS to go over the plan and schedule whatever.

This has all been such a shock. I haven't really told anyone. I don't know how to tell my mother and kids. I'm waiting until I know more before I say anything to them. My mom is 83 and in amazing health for her age. She is going to take this so hard. And my kids....17 and 19, its going to devestate them

To top it off I've had this little lump on my side well below my rib cage...it the middle of nowhere that is freaking me out more. Every single pain is freaking me out! I'm imagining the worst, telling myself that I don't want the rug pulled out from under me again!! When/how is stage IV diagnosed anyway?

On the outside, to people at work, my family, all looks normal. I'm my lovey, smiling self. But on the inside....I'm a mess!!!

I hate this!!!!

Moderators

Hi Mira,

We're so sorry to hear you're struggling right now. We know you'll feel better once your plan is in place with your medical team, and you can start treatment.

In regards to your kids and other family members, you may want to check out the main Breastcancer.org site's pages on Talking to Older Kids and Teens and Talking to Other Relatives and Friends.

Please let us know how your appointment goes on Tuesday, and we'll all be here to help you through your treatment!

--The Mods

vlnrph

For sure, give yourself the weekend "off" if you can. Distraction provided by activities will help the time go by more quickly. When doctors think there might be a stage IV situation, you would have more appointments set up than those on Tuesday. Do you have someone to go with you, to listen and take notes?

To answer your final question, BC usually goes to bone, lung, liver or brain. Initial signs like pain, cough, jaundice, headaches, etc. are investigated with blood tests and imaging scans. A 14 day rule is good to use: try not to worry too much until the symptom(s) have persisted for that long. Then get checked

mira845

thank you vlnrph! I appreciate your response. I'm sorry for your diagnosis and you are going through this.

I do have my boyfriend. He has come to all the appointments in the city while I was trying to find a doctor. I am so thankful for him but at the same time hate having to depend on him. I don't even know if he realizes how hard this is all going to be.

Sometimes I can be very good at compartmentalizing. My kids certainly have no idea what's going on. My mother's sister all of a sudden was put in ICU and so moms been with her the past few weeks, also has no idea anything is wrong with me.

What's interesting about these forums is I can go through one thread that has been around a long time and see the changes over the years in people's lives. Some of it good, some of it bad.

edwards750

Mira - so sorry you are joining us but remember it's no longer the death sentence it used to be. Having said that it's still a journey none of us wanted to take but it is what it is.

It's hard to keep your game face on for family and friends. I did esp for my youngest son. He was very emotional and of course scared. I downplayed my fears with him but shared them with my husband, friends esp ones who had been through it and this forum. It has been my lifeline and it will be yours too. Nowhere else can you go for advice and support where literally everyone understands how you feel.

When the time comes you will know what to say. Keep the faith and keep us posted. Btw there are several people I befriended who are doing fine and others who are not. That's the sad reality of this disease.

Diane

crs003

Hi Mira,

That was the hardest time, its too much to think about all at once from every direction. Even though I don't normally like to take meds, I accepted a prescription of Xanax for those weeks, and just used it when I really needed to sleep, though I later had to switch to Ativan. Telling my parents was one of the hardest parts, I put it off for a couple of weeks because I didn't know how they would take it. But I didn't give them enough credit, and they handled it fine and have been my greatest supporters. I don't have kids, so I don't have any advice there, but they will probably have a lot of questions too and they will want to help you. I did the same thing with pains. Get it checked out if something is not right, but don't jump too far ahead of yourself. And stay away from Dr. Google.