My husband has less and less empathy for me.

macb04

The 6th of April was the horrible anniversary of 3 years since diagnosis. My husband just told me to stop talking about it, that it was no worse than any other day. He knew I was upset and he just wanted me to go away and stop bothering him.

We keep separate checking accounts and I had to use one of his checks to pay for my younger daughter to go to Girl Scout camp in April. He forgets half of what I say to him. A couple of nights ago he was checking his checking account online and saw that the Girl Scouts had just cashed the check 6 plus weeks after I mailed it. He got furious, accusing me of taking his dam checks without asking. I kept telling him I didn't take anything without asking. He was yelling and slamming things around. He realized last night when I talked to him about it again that he made a mistake. He was acomplete jerk, he didn't even apologize without prompting. I got so upset with how he treated me. It felt even worse that he lacked the courage to apologize, that he would be so mean and untrusting of me, that he assumed the worst of me without even asking me. I am still upset with him, not talking to him. He feels that a cranky , begrudgingly given apology from him was enough, that I have no right to still be upset with him. I feel that we only get on if I can swallow my hurt, just accept any stupid crap he feels justified to dish out. He is ok sometimes, just seems to be rarer and rarer that he is kind, or a comfort. I feel like bc has exposed all the cracks in our marriage, that we, that I am drowning in resentment.

Rosevalley

(((Hugs)))) BC does a number on marriages, you are not alone. It's punished us too. Read the forums and you have company by the truck load - not that helps much. Is there anyone you might talk to just a little - clergy, counselor anyone? I would resent how things went down too about the check for Girl scouts. Maybe if you find an outlet to purge the resentment you would feel better? It's hard. Vent here it's safe.

macb04

Thanks Rosevalley, I plan to talk with my counselor on Saturday. Thanks for letting me vent here. I also called crisis line and spoke to a nice guy who said to just ignore him, that he was in the wrong. It felt good hearing someone else say that my husband wasn't fair or right. He apologized a little bit again today,so I guess it will have to be ok for now, not able to do much about anything right now, no money, need 2 to 3 more surgeries to finish reconstruction.