New and so don't want to be here

CAMommy

I'm sure no one wants to be here. I am a 46 year old mom of 3. I have a family history of breast cancer. My mother had it at 32 and survived (still living, no reoccurrence) and my maternal grandmother had it in her 50s. She was given 6 months to live, declined chemo and radiation and had no reoccurrence and lived until 90.

Needless to say I've been very vigilant about breast cancer by whole life. I started mammograms at 35. I had a hysterectomy/BSO two years ago to reduce my risk of both breast and ovarian cancer (I am on a low dose of bio identical estrogen). I had a breast MRI 15 months ago. I am religious about my mammograms. Everything has always come out fine.

A week ago Monday I had my routine mammogram. I didn't expect there to be a problem. I actually didn't even worry as much as I normally do. Two days later I got the dreaded call back call from the scheduling department. They couldn't tell me anything other than I needed to come back. I had to call my gynocologist to get the details. It seems I had some micro calcifications they wanted a closer look at. But they told me most of the time they are nothing.

I made my diagnostic mammo for yesterday (Monday). I went in expecting everything would be ok. The tech showed me the area of concern on the screen. It looked to me to be about 5 small dots in a little cluster. She took three extremely painful views and told me to go wait in another room. I did. About 1 minute later she came back and told me to get dressed that the radiologist would be right in.

Radiologist told me I needed a biopsy. He said that it looked suspicious and was most likely cancer. I just about passed out. He said it is 12 micro calcifications in a suspicious pattern and I need to prepare myself for cancer. Wow. He said my dr would call me later that day.

My dr didn't call me so I started to freak out even more. I called him today. He told me that he didn't have concern as the radiologist did. He said he wouldn't be surprised if it was DCIS and he wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. He also said the radiologist needed to make it apparent I needed a biopsy because so many women don't come back for them. What? Seriously? I would have had the biopsy on the spot if they would have let me!

My biopsy is next Wednesday and I'm. Very scared, worried, and depressed. I have no idea what to think. I've been googling like crazy. I am guessing if it is cancer it would most likely be DCIS. But I'm worried that is might be worse, or that cancer seems to return even after treatment. Ugh. So much in my head right now. Given my family history, I'm pretty sure it will be cancer. . And if it is I will lose my estrogen patch and that will make me crazy too.

lisa137

Stop googling! Really, stop it. You'll scare yourself to death.

Look, if it is DCIS, you'll almost certainly be just fine.

And what if it IS worse? It was worse for me, and I'm still here, and happy as can be. Estrogen patch? I had a complete hysterectomy back in September and I'm on Femara to help keep me as close to estrogen-free as possible, and I just got back from a week-long trip to Disney World where I walked all day every day--in the Florida heat, mind you-- rode rollercoasters and Splash Mountain and the river rapids ride and had a great time. If that's crazy, I'll take it, lol. Sure, I'm stiff when I first stand up if I've been sitting still for too long, but that's gone after a few steps. Otherwise, I'm the same old "me" I was before, minus a few body parts.

Cancer sucks, and treatments for it aren't fun, but really, a lot of the time it's the mental and emotional anguish we put ourselves through because of it that's the worst. Get yourself a prescription for some Ativan if you can't get past this fear and anxiety any other way. And stop googling!

Moderators

Hello CAMommy,

Sorry you found yourself here but we want to welcome you to this kind and compassionate community of women and men.

It's normal to feel very scared and worried when you don't know what it is that you're dealing with yet. It can be hard, but try to take it one day at a time. Do you know what kind of biopsy procedure you will be having? You might find our page on Biopsy Techniques helpful to know what to expect when you go in.

If it does turn out to DCIS (which it may not) there is a thread here in the discussion boards that may be helpful to you in understanding it all a bit better.

A Layperson's Guide to DCIS Discussion

Please do check in with again often and let us know how you are getting on.

Sending big cyber hugs and kind wishes your way,

From the Moderators.

ml143333

CAMommy - Don't go there until you have to go there - really.  Stop researching on Dr. Google - he will not help you.  If you need to research, research here on our site.

I hope that everything will turn out benign for you but if it doesn't, you will be okay.  You will then talk with physicians and learn your best course of action.  It might not all be a walk in the park - but you will get through it just like so many of the rest of us have.

Try to keep busy mentally and physically until the biospy is done and the results are in.  If you need help with your anxiety, you can always ask your physician for some medication to either help with anxiety or to help you sleep at night.

Please keep us posted.

april485

As a person who was in your shoes two years ago, I totally understand where you are coming from. As for googling, it is very very hard not to do it. I know I did it and it led me here and this is the best place to be for information AND support. DCIS is the best of the worst if you get my drift and it is considered 100% curable. Anything stage 1 and above just goes to remission (unless you can say you made it your entire normal life span cancer free...then you were obviously cured and that is more common than those who recur thank goodness.

Will you go through some stuff with DCIS? Yes. Do you have more of a chance of getting it back than someone who never had BC? Yes. But, it is doable and we are here for you.  Hugs and let us know how you make out!

CAMommy

thank you all for your responses. I am feeling a little better today. I feel confident that if it is DCIS I'll be fine. It's just such a shock to get that call that not everything is ok. My brother passed from lung cancer two years ago, so that doesn't help my state of mind either. He was not a smoker.

I forgot to add, I tested negative for BRCA1/BRCA2.

I will research here, and try to stop googling.

Moderators

Glad to hear you're feeling better! Please check in and let us know how the biopsy goes.

--The Mods