the absolutes of treatment

Cheesequake

I'm driving myself crazy tonight with all the uncertainties of decision making related to treatment, so I have decided to turn it on its head for a bit and look at the certainties only, whether good, bad or indifferent; whether surgery, chemo or radiation-related. So far I've only come up with three - I'd like to hear more. It can be like a game. No "if this then this, but" and no may, can or should - only "will" or "won't". So here we go:

If you don't do the drugs, you won't experience the side effects of the drugs.

If you don't do reconstruction, you won't have any complications of reconstruction.

If you don't do radiation, you won't have any side effects of radiation.

This might totally flop or it could turn up some interesting perspectives. So... your turn!

inks

If you don't do any treatment for cancer you will die from it (unless you get hit by a bus first of course).

inks

If you live you die.

inks

if you don't treat the cancer you will have debiitating side effects from cancer (unless you get hit by a bus first).

inks

If you don't do any treatment you will not have medical bills but you will have a funeral bill. Please stop me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vlnrph

Good job on the game playing aspect, Inks! Your best one is 'if you live, you will die'...

(As a caution to newbies however, I feel compelled to say that slow growing/indolent tumors which remain in the breast do not kill - only metastatic disease offers that possibility)

inks

But if it is indeed a malignant tumor and you do not do any treatment (even surgery) it will eventually become metastatic and cause death (even if the progression will take 20 years or more).

The only absolute is "If you live you will die", everything else can be messed up by the damn bus. Curse that bus!

Cheesequake

I keep trying to think of absolutes of doing treatment but can't find any - if you do chemo (or radiation or surgery) you will/won't... What? Are we all really that different, that nothing is an absolute certainty if you do treatment?

SelenaWolf

I've never really believed in absolute anything. For me, life has always been about varying degrees of relativity, depending on the variables taken into consideration at that point in time. "Truth" for me always shifts; what is true one day, may not be true another, and vice versa. Who I am today will not be who I am tomorrow because of a change in variables.

Cancer tended to magnify this sense of fluidity for me, especially since I was in a big "grey area" when it came to treatment. Conventional treatment offered better odds of long-term survival based on decades of statistics gathered about other women who had my exact diagnosis; however, there was also the (smaller) possibility that I would be just fine without chemotherapy or that chemotherapy would make no difference in the long run and I'd die of breast cancer anyway. My worldview became relativity on steroids. And, even with a predisposition to see things in relative terms, it just about drove me batty.

My only advice would be, once you decide on what you're going to do, do it AND DON'T LOOK BACK. Regret nothing. Don't second-guess yourself. Just do it... and move forward. It's the moving forward - the living - that important, not the "what if".

JJOntario

We make the best decisions armed with the knowledge we have at the time. Hindsight is sometimes a horrible thing.

ruthbru

Here were my absolutes when deciding on treatment:

By doing conventional treatments and healthy life style things (keep the weight down, exercise etc.), I know I have done everything possible to prevent recurrence. So that has absolutely helped my mental outlook. Of course, the best case scenario is that it never comes back, which will make me absolutely thrilled. The worst case scenario would be recurrence, but even then treatment would bought me valuable time AND I will never have to say, "Oh, if only I had done......(fill in the blank), maybe this wouldn't have happened." That would make that nightmare absolutely more horrible to me.

farmerlucy

Moving forward is really the only choice you have.

It is what it is

exbrnxgrl

Move forward, do the best you can each step of the way, bitterness and anger over the past are huge drains on QOL, there are NO absolutes with bc!

NineTwelve

Thanks for the smile, inks! We need to stop that crazy bus, before it kills again.

Cheesequake: I'm not an absolutist, just the opposite, really. And this disease doesn't lend itself to hard and fast rules. All your absolutes can be turned around, for example:

If you don't do the drugs (or the radiation), you won't experience the benefits of the drugs/radiation.

If you don't do reconstruction... Actually, I agree with you there. I shudder at the thought of those additional surgeries, and I would not put my poor body through that, unless they were life-saving, (and we know they're not).

The choices are rarely easy, but it is important to make them. If you trust your care-givers and know that you're both working towards the same goals, it can get a little easier.

ruthbru

Absolutely, once you make your decisions, go forward.....make memories, enjoy and appreciate each day!