help after BMX

maxdog

Hi all,

I will be having a bilateral mastectomy in the coming weeks. Wondering how much help I will be needing. My mother is planning to come help for as long as I need her. I know I will have drains for 2 weeks.

ksusan

BMX, no reconstruction for me. You won't be allowed to lift, pull, or stretch much (I wasn't allowed to lift a full coffee cup the first 3 weeks). You may also have a chest binder on. You may be pretty tired, or using a sedating pain medication. Your range of motion will be limited. I was happy to have pretty attentive help for the first two weeks, then available help the two weeks after that.

crystalphm

It is good your Mom will be with you. I had trouble getting out of bed the first night, maybe the second too, but after that, I was ok. But ideally it is so wonderful to have someone help you, cook, take care of your home, during recovery. The new recovery idea here is to not move arms at all after surgery, no exercises, no reaching, to help the lymphatic area heal, so you will need help.

Get shirts that button down (Over the head is a big problem) and put things down low before your mom leaves!

let us know how it goes. There is so much info online here, but I can't remember where!

Jackbirdie

Maxdog- I went home alone from surgery and dealt with the drains, etc by myself. I had prepared very well, but I didn't recover quickly. I had just moved to a new town, knew no one, and have no family within 800 miles. My brother tried to come for a couple of days, but his flight was canceled, and there was no other flight that day. It was a mess. In the end, my family became so concerned they hired caregivers for over a month to come in twice a day to check on me, shop for food, make some meals, and stay on top of the housework. I could never have afforded to do this myself, and a nice rich uncle paid for it all.

I now believe, not that I really could have done anything about it, because I didn't get my recovery on the right foundation to begin with, it caused many delays in recovering range of motion and I still have significant pain 4 months later.

So my point is, though this is a very individual thing, how quickly you recover, what your threshold of pain is, etc., it is a very invasive surgery, and I would take every bit of help that is offered. Your age,(I was 57) your general state of health otherwise, and many other factors will come into play. I personally would ask her to stay a minimum of 3-4 weeks. Unless non-refundable plane tickets are at issue, it would be great if you could play it by ear.

And don't start talking about sending her home the first day or two you feel good. You may overdo it, may have setbacks, and you would want her there until you are quite sure you can drive yourself to follow up appointments, make your bed (this I find hard still on my own), and other day to day things.

I am very happy your mom is able and willing to come care for you in this way. It is and will continue to be difficult physically, mentally, and emotionally. And there's nobody like your mom at times like that. I hope it turns out to be a very special bonding time for you both, and some positives come out of this unfortunate situation you find yourself in.

A gentle hug and the best of luck for quick recovery and a great path report.

Katy

trailrose

maxdog- Glad to hear you'll be receiving some help! My husband took one month off to help and my aunt was here for the same amount of time when my husband was off. It really depends on how you recover and feel. I needed help going from a sitting to standing position for about 1 week. My BS took lymph nodes out of both sides so my husband had to help me with potty duties for about 3 days! I had tissue expanders the same day I had my BMX. The PS required arms by side (T-Rex arms)

My husband washed my hair and blow dried it for me (we could of done a comedy skit with that one), my aunt cooked and did laundry. Between her and my husband they walked and fed the dogs. My husband was the one who set the alarm every 4 hours to give me my pain medications. He milked and emptied my drains for me.

We set up a stack of books to put my plates or bowls on so I wouldn't have to reach too far down and I used a straw in my plastic cups for a couple of weeks. You'll be surprised at how a glass can feel so heavy!

From what I understand you need one week of recovery time for every hour you're under anesthesia. I'm sure it varies for some. Take it easy, listen to your doctors and take a small pillow to put between your chest and the seatbelt when you are discharged from the hospital. Eat super clean and healthy since it will help with your healing process. Have stool softeners or something to help your bowels along since anesthesia and pain meds. have a way of stopping things up!

Let your mother take care of you because you will need every bit of it. May your recovery go smoothly and your path report be a good one.

maxdog

Thank you all so much! I have read all of the info in this forum and have been stocking up on button front jammies! I am 39 and have a husband and 4 year old. My husband works part time. My mother is within a 3 hour drive and will stay as long as I need her. I will need someone to help me and also help get my daughter to school, etc. Luckily I have some great friends who are eagerly awaiting a surgery date and jobs in order to help me! We will have some serious problems if I can't lift my coffee cup!!

Jackbirdie

Maxdog- you might have to switch to espresso in those very tiny but chic cups! Lol