New boobs for Christmas....

eiresol

I used to make that joke growing up, being a size A (barely). OK a lot of people had made that joke to me as well over the years...and now that I have the opportunity... Ya know what? Not funny. And not really wanted. I like my old, small, saggy breasts. They are mine.

However, I received my DX last Tuesday and had to make my decision today. Double mastectomy in May, one day after my oldest son's high school graduation. I'm lucky because it was caught early, so the doctor feels it was OK to let me have that....my boobs getting to attend graduation. In a new dress, that took two months to be delivered since I mistakenly ordered online from a business in China. I have a cake to make, and dozens of cupcakes. And my son is angry because I'm focused on these silly things, and not having surgery.

And it does seem so, reading this as I write it. But I am freaking out and it is just me and 3 kids and 2 dogs. And I'm pretty sure those silly things are the tiny threads holding me together. Besides, I figure in this fight Cancer is getting a lot from me-physically, emotionally, financially. I get to see my honor graduate walk down the stage and get his damned diploma. I do not get to see his bands CD release show one week later. One for me, one for C begins, C is ahead, but I'm going to win.

And am I a total freak for hyper focusing on these things? And making inappropriate jokes? Should I be crying and fetal?

Although I've mostly been trolling, everyone here, every one of you ladies helped me make one concrete decision today even though treatment wise I'm still surrounded by unknowns.

Jenwith4kids

I think we could be friends! You aren't crazy to be thinking about the little things. My focus has changed dramatically in the last year. Those little things are important, you Re right about the thread holding you together..... Stick around here, we will help when the jokes turn to tears and then back to jokes again

Nomatterwhat

Boobs are highly overrated!!!!!  It's the little things in life that count and keep you focused.  Congrats to your son for graduating with honors -- you've done good mom!!!!!  I had a BMX August 2014, rode the emotional rollercoaster, went to the dark side and truly did not like who I had become.  I have certainly changed my priorities since August and I find myself doing more things with my family, friends and if my house is dirty, it will get cleaned when I am ready to clean it, maybe.  You will be fine, stay positive, keep your mind busy and enjoy everyday your feet hit the floor.  Keep us posted.  Hugs to you. 

Valentine99

Not crazy at all. Sometimes it's the little things that keep us sane. I've often thought I was weird because I didn't have a big breakdown when I got the news. It was more like of course is cancer. What else would it be? I'm glad you have the opportunity to delay your surgery until after graduation. I would have wanted to do the same thing. Congrats to your son! And to you!

Trvler

Can I ask you why you had to make your decision today?

Jeeper4

i make inappropriate jokes about my cancer too. and I haven't really cared that I'm behind on laundry and housekeeping since all this started. I could have gone either way--lump or mast. I figured I'd give my leftie one more try. But my family situation played a big part in that decision for me. DD graduating from college, DS1 needs to be moved home from first year at college, DS2 graduating high school…family coming in, graduation parties, etc. I've probably just put a bandaid on the inevitable but I wanted to be able to enjoy these milestones and do a mx if needed when life wasn't as hectic. Hugs and enjoy his graduation to the fullest!

Divalicious

Stay STRONG! Being Alive with new Blobs is a gift cause years ago we didn't have such!

eiresol

• Thank you everybody. As soon as I posted that...I cried. Lol Go figure. Today back to stoicism and bad humor!
• Tryler, mostly because I had already put off making a decision for over a week. Drs have all said they feel I have some leeway, but not a whole lot. Why beat around the bush.
• Jeeper, you sound as busy as me! Graduations and college prep. Step aside cancer we are just to busy. I had the option of a lumpectomy. After my MRI Friday, surgeon said he felt removing the breast was the better option after all At that point I just felt (since I have anxiety with hypochondriac tendencies) take both and reduce any obsessive compulsive breast kneading I'd do with my right! Probably spared myself years of permanent bruising from self lump checks... Ha ha.

Valentine99

Elresol, my situation was basically the same. They were thinking lumpectomy until after my MRI, then it was mastectomy. There was a tiny spot on the right side that they couldn't find to biopsy, but I decided not to risk it and had both taken.

Nomatterwhat

I tried the lumpectomy, but during surgery the blue dye turned my right breast blue so my BS stopped the surgery and gave my husband the bad news that rightie was 98% full of cancer and I had pre cancer in leftie.  Off they came, no question, no looking back, no regret.