Just diagnosed today :(

KCinMN

I know nothing about it either, other than 'breast cancer'...

I started reading thru the forums here a few weeks ago... Had a small bump, and some nipple changes going on. So I went in for a physical last week. Doc sent me in for a mammogram, which I had yesterday. Ended up being a mammo, ultrasound, and biopsy. Got it all done at once I guess... Anyway, it didn't feel like a very encouraging appt, although the staff really was great... But I just walked out kinda expecting the diagnosis to come.

Doc called me this afternoon. She's been my physician for awhile. It was hard for her to tell me. She only knew that it is cancer though, no details. She's sending me in for an MRI next Mon or Tuesday when we can get it scheduled. And we'll go from there... Is the MRI after a biopsy pretty standard???

I'm 39! 2 kiddos. Not looking forward to telling them... I'm holding off temporarily.

And it's Friday.... So I have to go the whole weekend just thinking too much and not knowing what to do next! Ugh....

Jeeper4

Hugs. I did have a an MRI after my biopsy (12/31/14 What a great NYE that was!) It's more sensitive and then can be compared with the mammo to get a better idea of what's going on. Mine showed an enlarged lymph node (common after biopsies) and path was B9 on that. I have 4 kids and waited until I had all the pathology back/treatment plan before I said the C word to them (ages 21-10). How are you holding up? I was a mess--still am sometimes. Sorry you have to join us here.

Moderators

KCinMN-

We want to welcome you to our community here at BCO. We're sorry that you're joining us, but we hope you find the support and information you're looking for while you're here.

The early days and weeks cam be so very confusing and scary. Try to stay calm until you have all the info about your cancer, and are able to come up with a treatment plan with your doctors. Many of our members hold off on telling their kids until they have something definitive to tell them, or until they are ready to start treatment. It really just depends on the kids, you'll know when they're ready to know.

We've put together some important links for the newly diagnosed that might be helpful right now. You can find them here: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5/topic/8.... Please keep us posted on the results from your MRI, we'll be thinking of you!

The Mods

Sunflowercat

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I too was 39 at diagnosis and have 3 small children. I waited until I knew exactly what my treatment plan was before telling them. This is the hardest time right now. It does get better once you have the whole picture and have a plan of attack. MRIs are fairly standard, so don't stress over that. For now try and do something fun to take your mind off it. I know, I know: Easier said than done!

KCinMN

thanks for the replies, ladies!

It's good to not feel so alone. I got us this morning hoping it had all just been a bad nightmare. No such luck, lol

ElaineTherese

Hi KCinMN!

I had an MRI after my diagnosis. It helped give the surgeon and oncologist a clearer picture of what was going on. It suggested that my lump was bigger than the ultrasound had shown, and also that one lymph node might be compromised. That lymph node was then biopsied, and it tested positive for cancer cells. Later, that first MRI was used as a baseline for comparison with my post-chemo MRI. The second MRI showed that the lump was gone and that the lymph nodes were clear. My MO says that I will probably get an MRI once a year to make sure that I still have no evidence of disease (NED).

Good luck! I didn't tell my kids until after I had a treatment plan in place.

Annie88

KCinMN-Sorry that you have to join us! You will find a lot of support here. I have often felt like like you, wondering when I would be waking from this bad dream. Unfortunately, I had to just move forward, as difficult as it has been at times. I was diagnosed at 43, a mother of 2 children, ages 10 and 13. My husband and I decided that we would not tell our youngest until after the surgery was completed. My older child was told right before I left for Houston to have my surgery. He turned 14 the day before my surgery. My younger child, a daughter, knew I was sick, but no specific details. We cried as I told her when I returned from my surgery. The thing I struggled with the most, I think, was taking some of my children's security away. Looking back now I realize that my children may benefit from this by understanding that life is a precious gift. Hugs!

linzer

Hugs. I agree to wait to tell your children. A moment will arrive whereby you find the courage. If I had done it before that, I likely would have scared them because I was scared too. Once I knew my plan and felt that I was calmer (relatively) I was able to sit them down and do the toughest thing I'd ever had to do. There are lots of good resources (online and cancer center / hospital social worker or brochures) to help shape your conversation. In the meantime, focus your energy on keeping yourself on track and finding out what exactly you are facing for a treatment plan. That can't be said enough, focus on giving yourself all the loving kindness that you need to get through. It does get better. I promise. Linda

AndreaC

So sorry you had to join us KC. MRI following diagnosis is fairly standard, it helps give a really good idea of exactly what is going on. I had a CT as opposed to an MRI, but it showed a second tumour (in the opposite breast) which had been missed on the mammogram. So obviously that changed the treatment plan.

This is the toughest part...the waiting for tests and results, waiting to talk to the oncologist, etc. I am through all that and feel relieved that there is now a plan but it took 2 months. I start chemo this week.

Good luck telling the kids. My kids are grown and out of the house...but it wasn't easy telling them...especially since this is my second bout of cancer (colon cancer in 2013) and I am not THAT old...only 52.

Let us know how you are doing! We are all in this together.

Andrea

speace

Hello KcinMn, I was just diagnosed a month ago yesterday. Time seemed to stand still that day. Being a newbie myself the only advise I can give you is , Take a deep breath, and like myself , try to understand that from now on this whole journey is done in steps. And as I'm finding out nothing can be rushed, even though we want everything done and over with it all takes time , the waiting game for test results is the worst. But you'll get through and so will I and the ladies on here have such great advice so don't be afraid to talk about anything. Xoxoxo Sandy

speace

Hello KcinMn, I was just diagnosed a month ago yesterday. Time seemed to stand still that day. Being a newbie myself the only advise I can give you is , Take a deep breath, and like myself , try to understand that from now on this whole journey is done in steps. And as I'm finding out nothing can be rushed, even though we want everything done and over with it all takes time , the waiting game for test results is the worst. But you'll get through and so will I and the ladies on here have such great advice so don't be afraid to talk about anything. Xoxoxo Sandy

Jackbirdie

KCinMN- I just wanted to say welcome and I'm glad you found us, but sorry that you needed to. I was dxd 12/15/14, have had surgery, and am halfway through chemo. Without question the hardest part is the shock at the beginning, then the waiting for test results.

Having children makes it so much more complicated, but the advice you've received above up is sound. Be sure to try to be kind to yourself. You will need to pick your times and places, but fear and meltdowns are normal and this is no time to be a hero and hold it all in. Even the strongest of us will break down at times under this pressure.

Make sure you are 100% confident in your doctors, especially your oncologist. If you are not, get second opinions. These are important relationships. Change if you need to. Keep asking questions. Keep reaching out here. The support is bottomless.

As others have said, once you have plans in place you will start to feel better. Nobody ever feel good about cancer. But you can feel better than you do now.

KCinMN

I am just a bundle of nerves! SWEATING! Ugh....

Thanks for all the messages.... Reading posts here has already been helpful. Except, I'm still sweating. LOL.

I should hear today about an appt for an MRI sometime early on today, hopefully...

Still haven't told anyone. We are kinda waiting for the MRI and results. NOT looking forward to telling family at all!

SummerAngel

Sorry you're having to go through this. I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. My MRI showed what I like to call "a big mess" in both of my breasts, including a tumor in the opposite breast that I just had biopsied last Thursday. I'm waiting for results on that. I was just about to turn 46 when I was diagnosed, and my children are a bit older (two girls, 15 and 19, and a foster son, 18). My youngest told me the other day that she told one of her friends who immediately encouraged her to cry and "let it out". Very sweet! My daughter said she told her friend that she didn't need to cry, and that because her mom was taking it well, so was she. Honestly I think it's helped my kids A LOT to see me being relatively calm and matter-of-fact about it. I've had my moments of self-pity, but I try very hard to save those for when I'm alone.

Suzanne1978

I just got on here and saw this. I just signed up. I too was diagnosed on Friday! I will be 37 on May 19th. I have DCIS. I am scared. I have an appointment with Oncologist tomorrow.

KCinMN

Well, I got a few appointments scheduled... My MRI is Wednesday morning, and I meet with an onco surgeon on Thursday. So a little more waiting!

That should give me more answers though?!?!

Suzanne1978 - sorry to hear you just joined the club!

At least it's good to know others in this same boat!