Not Eating

Pawsitive

My mom is 76 and has HER 2 positive breast cancer. She has two treatments left. The tumor is shrinking. After the last treatment a lumpectomy will be done and radiation. She is diabetic. Recently, her sugars have went really high and she developed a UTI and a severe yeast infection. She was admitted to the hospital for 3 days. Because she is extremely weak a decision was made to put her in a short term nursing facility. She also has urinary incontinence and bowel incontinence. She does not eat. She has been overweight for many years. She has lost 50 pounds since January. Sometimes she may eat a few bites of yogurt but that is all. She has lost a lot of muscle mass and is very unstable to walk. She cannot get out of bed unless it is raised up. Also, she cannot get out of a chair if it sits to low because she has no strength in her legs. We had to get a raised toilet seat otherwise we cannot get her up off it. I don't understand the not eating thing. I do understand that after a treatment her appetite may not be all that great. But she very rarely eats anything at all. Her muscles are wasting away. We have talked to a dietician, she has been given medicine to try to increase appetite but nothing. She is due for another treatment in a little over a week. Also, she is not to happy with me because she is in the rehab center. This rehab gives her PT and is working with her on her diabetes. I just want to know if anyone else has had this experience? I am worried that the not eating is going to be more harmful to her than the cancer itself.

dlb823

Pawsitive, I'm so sorry about your Mom, but glad you've found BCO. I haven't been in your exact situation (although my Mom was in a nursing home after a stroke), but I thought I would share a couple of thoughts with you.

It sounds like your Mom's not eating might be largely due to depression, which would be totally understandable given the severe weakness you describe, and perhaps feeling like she's not ever going to regain her independence. If that's the case, does she understand that even though she's going through a very rough patch right now, a breast cancer diagnosis isn't an automatic downhill slide, and that no matter how she feels today, things can improve once she gets through with her treatment? Is she getting any psychological counseling? That's something most women going through a breast cancer diagnosis or suddenly finding themselves in a nursing home can benefit from, and your Mom is going through both of these life-altering experiences at once. And somewhat related to that, because I think it's very important, how are her doctors treating her? Do they inspire trust and are they conveying hope for a full recovery?

My other thought is, has she had a recent PET or CT Scan, to see if anything else is going on in addition to what sounds like localized breast cancer plus her diabetes? Is it possible there's an obstruction or something making it uncomfortable for her to eat? Or is the weight loss a sign of something more ominous than a loss of appetite? If I was in your or your Mom's situation, I would certainly want all of that ruled out before finding a wonderful, compassionate psychologist who specializes in dealing with illness and has experience with situations like your Mom's. (((Hugs))) to you both ~ Deanna