Slowing down, quickly approaching first chemo

Simplicity

3/31/15 I was diagnosed with IDC. It has traveled to the lymphnode of the right breast. It has been full blast with appointment after appointment, and is finally beginning to slow down. My first chemo, as of now, is scheduled for 4/21/15.

I opted for the full panel genetic testing since colon, breast, and ovarian run in my family. I saw this as a tool to further educate my kids about the dangers possibly lurking in their bodies.

Not really sure why I am writing. This is the second weekend since diagnosis and it's been kind of rough.

I recently hit the feeling broken, ugly, undesirable phase. I don't even want to look at that breast and would have it removed tomorrow if I could.

My port was placed on 4/7/15, so that has had an impact as well.

I'm good with the impending mastectomy, and possible double mastectomy, I suppose. Is what it is. Can't change it. But dang. This all sucks.

jojo2373

It really does suck, but you will find alot of support here or at curediva.com. Join one of the chemo groups or read others blogs. You can make it through this, just let us support you!

SummerAngel

I'm with you there, it really does suck! I was diagnosed on April 3 but I'm in a waiting pattern because I still don't know if any lymph nodes are involved. Good luck with your treatment!

Trvler

I am sorry. It does suck. There are many chemo support groups in the chemo section. I would suggest checking them out as they are immensely helpful. Hugs.

Janetanned

You might want to consider seeing someone to help you through this mess.  I saw a therapist for a few months to help keep everything in perspective.  It was really valuable.  I could vent and cry and just hand every negative feeling to the therapist without feeling guilty.  She was a terrific listener, who validated my feelings.  She helped with some coping skills and she helped me handle my family and their feelings about my illness.  We only met for a few months and when it became apparent that I no longer needed the support, she sent me on my way.  It really did help.

While my therapist did not specialize in cancer patients, I have been told that there are specially trained therapist who deal with the seriously or chronically ill.  My MO gave me the name of one such therapist.  Unfortunately, it didn't work with my insurance, so I saw someone who specializes in PTSD.

Simplicity

SummerAngel, hope you get your answers soon. Waiting on the pathology report?

I'll be ok. We all will. Just keep hitting these moments I can only describe as 'void'.

Just seems like there's so much to do and prepare so you can 'be sick' when you need to be or feel sick, ya know?

I wish a therapist could fit into my budget but as a single income home, and now this, Bleh. Not gonna happen.

SummerAngel

Simplicity, it does seem like there's so much to do to prepare! I'm also a single income home, three teenagers with one in college. It's stressful. Luckily my work has already been fantastic, saying they'll do anything they can to support me.

I'm not actually waiting for pathology, except the Her2/neu on the lump. The issue I'm having is that I had a core biopsy first that came back benign, as a fibroadenoma, so when I later had the lump removed they didn't treat it as cancer. They took very close margins and no lymph nodes. So when pathology on the lump came back with IDC in it, everyone was very surprised. Now I'm sitting with a pretty good sized lump removed but the cancer extended past the surgical margin and no idea if it's anywhere else in my body. I have an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow and a breast MRI on Friday. I'll be making sure they test my lymph nodes asap.

Trvler

Do you ladies have insurance? Sometimes insurance will cover therapy.

sybilskelton

One of the changes in the health care reform law was that mental health services must be covered the same as physical ones. My daughter sees both a therapist and a psychiatrist, and they get covered the same as any other doctor visit. So, if you have insurance check it out, it may not be as financially out of the question as you think.