Feeling like the doctors are to relaxed?

LillieRose

hi all,

I'm sure you've seen my other post about my IDC diagnoses. The doctors said from my core biopsy, ultrasounds, mammograms, and physical exam that I have stage 2 and they don't think it's in my nodes yet (one they think is swollen from biopsy so I'm having the node biopsy'd tomorrow). Er-/pr- and her 2 pending.

I feel like they were so calm! To calm! I mean I am 30 years old with an invasive grade 3 cancer in my body. I wants a double mastectomy and every med they can through at me...

They haven't even started the chemo yet and want to do that first then a lumpectomy, then radiation. They said I will be fine and not to worry.

How do they know without surgery first though? I'm at Dana Farber, so I know these people know cancer but they just seem so calm...

Anonymous

Lillierose, I'm sorry you had this dx. We know how you feel, so you aren't alone. The doctors are probably feeling calm because they trust their own knowledge and have years of experience treating other women in exactly your situation. They may be feeling calm because they feel certain they can help you and then you can get on with your life. Dana Farber is a great hospital, so you've got that behind you as you noted. Usually a doctor will maintain composure so that the patient feels calmer, too, instead of the opposite, where most patients would freak out more if their doctor was freaking out, which might say to the patient "omg, this is dire!". Try to see your docs calmness and composure as a good thing, not a bad one.

Hugs/Claire in AZ

momand2kids

Hi

I was also treated at DF-- and they were indeed kind and calm and very experienced... you want them to be calm--- they are incredible- and they will help you and as my onc said "send me on my way"....

You are at the hardest part--still gathering the info--- once you have your her2 info, you should be ready to go..... I remember when I finally "let go" and put it in their hands-- it was a good feeling....

good luck you could not be in a better place.....

Holeinone

Lillie, sorry you have to be here. I really hate to learn of someone SO young having to deal with this stinkin disease. My 2 kids are close to your age.

Drs. deal with scary dx, random pain complaints, the whole gamut of medical issues. Logically they have to have a tough skin, if not, they would have the worst anxiety & distress.

I know my personal Dr. has empathy for my scary stage 3. She was a tennis teammate for 10 years before being my Dr. My oncologist, is a nice person, but not warm & fuzzy. I do not look to her for answers, or anything but the script for anti-hormonals. Small community, no other options.

Stay busy, being dx is a roller coaster. Yes, you want off. The ups & downs, the nausea & pain. Find a young women's group here. Good luck....

Kicks

IF any of my Drs had not been 'calm' - I'd have been finding other ones ASAP. They are specialist in their fields and thus should be knowledgeable so no reason to not be confident and calm in their demeanor no matter what they think the prognosis might be (no one ever knows for sure what tomorrow holds anyway). Would you rather see them 'freaking out'?

Neoadjuvant Chemo (Chemo before surgery) is not unusual. It is the standard for some BCs and is becoming more common for others. The idea is to get the cancer to form 'better' (get clear margins, etc), shrink, etc. Some of us will do both neoadjuvant and adjuvant (post surgery) chemo followed by rads.

Are you having a CT, MRI or PET to check rest of body? If you are doing Chemo, will you be getting a port implanted? (Makes Chemo a lot easier on veins.)

Time frame for starting neoadjuvant Chemo can vary quite a bit based on many 'things'. For me, it was 17 days after DX but I'm a different type that is very aggressive and rapid.

WinningSoFar

I remember the same feeling--wanting everything and everyone to hurry up. In the end, I really do want my docs to stay calm and optimistic, but I still want everything to hurry up. I must have driven my oncologist mad trying to get chemo started just one day earlier. I felt like Sysiphus rolling a rock up a mountain. Oh well, they do what they do and I do what I do. The chemo worked beautifully. I hope the same for you.

LillieRose

thank you for your response! I just got my final results and I am triple negative... I'm so scared... Any advice

momand2kids

Hi

there is a TNBC group on the boards-- I bet they will be incredibly helpful....

Ddw79

I have no good advice but I wanted to tell you that I am also being seen at the DFCI in Boston

Sjacobs146

LillieRose, so sorry to hear about the triple negative diagnosis. Even so, it's not like it's something that your docs haven't seen before. You are in the best hands possible though, the docs at Dana Farber know what they are doing. No advice that you haven't been given already.

purple_shmoo

I feel the same way. Although the two weeks (tomorrow) have been filled with tests and appointments, now thT I have a plan I want to get started on the chemo. Unfortunately my bs can't fit me I. Until the 21st to get my port! Hoping someone cancels the Tuesday so I can get in. I wk then start chemo the flowing Monday. It just feels like forever! I too am 3- and have N inflamed lymph node that they buece to be from the biopsy. The PET scan showed some inflammation in the lymph nodes but they said it did not light up like Cancer. So cautiously optimistic that it is contained ing my breast for now