Feeling stupid....

Lmonelli

I read these posts and some women have different cancer than me. I woke up feeling very scared of the decision I made about having surgery. Scared of waking up flat chested. I know this is the right decision for me but scared none the less. I feel stupid after reading some women have worse cancer than mine and I don't have a right to feel this way but I do. I'm diagnosed IDC er/pr+ slow growing. Some women here are diagnosed with worse cancer than me yet I m a wreck today. Crying..pissed off and scared. My friend Tina who is a survivor tells me cancer is cancer and I should NOT feel stupid. These are feelings that I am going to feel no matter what kind of cancer I have. Still feel like a whiny baby.

DSW1976

First Tina is right these are feelings you will have. Second until surgery is done you don't know what your final stage is and to be going through all that you are I think you are handling it the way you need to. I was stage 1 before surgery and stage 2 when i woke up and I had prior MRI that didnt pick up lymph node w can er. Its a scary uncertain road hang in there and this board can help with alot if questions and support. Hang in there best of luck. And last you have been diagnosed with cancer and that alone is so hard but give it time it does get better .

Lmonelli

thank you so much! I need you guys here on this board!!!

Newgirls

you just gotta let the feelings rip. Don't hold them back and let yourself cry! This is a life changing event for anyone who gets the phone call. I was a crying mess on the morning of my surgery and I remember waking up from surgery hearing the nurses tell me that it was over and immediately thinking that I wanted to change my mind about bmx. Too late. I had buyers remorse for a few weeks but now that I am past it by a few months I am glad I did it. The relief after years of chasing biopsies has given me peace of mind. It's right to appreciate that ur cancer was found in the early stages but you still have to mourn your losses. I am missing my nipples every day! I loved those little pink things. And I miss my exercise routine that I've had to change up. I mourn those losses but thankful each day that I didn't need chemo or rads. Some of our sisters are not so fortunate. Lost my mom to cancer so she inspires me. You have to find your new life-space. It's a journey for us all. Be kind to yourself and accept the whole spectrum go your feelings.

Lmonelli

Newgirls...love your name!! Thank you so much for your post. You really made me laugh because you nailed it on the head with feeling buyers remorse. You have helped me.

Anonymous

Our culture has already set us up for extreme fear of any cancer dx. Cancer, although we should see it as a treatable, sometimes even curable disease, is seen as something like the black death from the Middle Ages. Probably because we don't really know what causes it and that we are still working on ways to tx it. When I first found out myself, I tried to take cancer's power away and realize it's a disease, like heart disease or diabetes, and can be treated/even cured in some instances, giving us a normal lifespan in so many, many cases.

You just found out. You aren't there yet, but I hope my words have helped you a bit.

Claire in AZ

Lmonelli

Thank you Claire!