Starting and continuing a meditation practice

Fourminor

Its something I always felt like I should do and had nominally tried before but now I feel that its something I must do, so I've started doing a 15 minute meditation in the mornings and even though i spend like 14 and a half minutes having distracted thoughts, and 30 seconds focusing on my breath, I'm going to keep at it. Not sure how well this will go when i go back to work in a week, when I actually have to do leave the house in the mornings, but I feel committed. Anyone else practicing meditation who has some thoughts about how to build it into your day and life? Or how do you feel the effects when it is? (I read somewhere that one person asked their teacher, how do I know if this is changing me and the teacher said, "Ask your wife.")

The thing I have gotten from it so far is realizing how amazingly fast my mind can move around between thoughts and how often I am caught up in them and not present at all. In the book I am reading, Turning Your Mind into an Ally by Sakyong Mipham, this is described as an important step.

I was surprised, given the research on meditation helping breast cancer patients, that there wasn't already a thread on this, or maybe I missed it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/05/mindfulness-meditation-cancer_n_6101130.html

Fourminor

Just wanted to share some of what I have found/done to help me so far:

I was fortunate to have taken two writing/meditation retreats with Susan Piver which was my introduction to meditation and its potential benefits. She has a website called The Open Heart project where she posts a free guided meditation every Monday:

http://susanpiver.com/blog/

http://susanpiver.com/open-heart-project/

I also found a free meditation timer app for my phone that works great. I started with 10 minutes per day but am going to try to stick to 15 minutes a day because i feel like it works better for me.

Fourminor

Another thing I have found that helped is creating a dedicated meditation space. In my house there is a little extension/alcove next to my kitchen which has sliding glass doors out to the deck. It was probably meant to be a breakfast nook, you could fit a small round table and a couple of chairs here. Well instead I have my wintering gardenia tree, a small potted pine that's trying to come back, a few succulents that are my best choice for not killing from forgetting to water, and yesterday I picked up a small potted red rose bush which I'd like to plant outside in the late spring. The space is sunny since it faces south/southwest, and there is a side window for late afternoon light. There's a humidifier running for the gardenia that softly hums and to which one can add a fragrant oil. The space has attracted the near permanent presence of Yogi, my aptly named cat. During the day its not uncommon to also find my dog and other cat in here all together, chilling out. So the vibe is good.

The room is painted a pale pinkish lavender--I chose that when we moved in two years ago as the fungi shui for this corner of the house was spirituality. And with a plain beige rug, a lot of sunshine, and plants, it is actually a great color.

I have tucked one chair for someone to sit, my meditation cushion, spiritual trinkets, and some meditation books. I find i often sit here to have coffee and wait for the sun to rise. So its not a big step to put the cushion on the floor and get down and meditate. I could meditate in the chair also.

I don't think its necessary to go to all of this trouble to make a dedicated space, but for me who loves creating spaces, it works.

SpecialK

I actually participated in this trial shortly after chemo ended.  This was a quantified study that measured cortisol in blood and saliva before being taught to meditate, and then measured at half-way and conclusion of the six week meditation class.  We followed materials by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and had an instructor.   I found this extremely beneficial, and this course in mindfulness and meditation has help shape my approach to life ever since.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23184061

MagicalBean

Fourminor-I love this idea. I have tried to meditate but like you, my mind seems to jump allover the place. One thing that seems to work (and I really need to set aside a time to practice) is to lite a candle and concentrate on the flame while calming your thoughts. In another life and another house, I had a nice place to do it but it's harder now. Your room sounds so peaceful. You've given me something to think about. Thank you.

proudtospin

I am impressed, my gym had a sign up this past week that they were going to start a meditation thing one night a week.  Now you have me thinking about trying it.  Have done yoga with good memories of the mind relaxation so..

MagicalBean

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Fourminor

Magic Bean -- What's helped is realizing that my mind is jumping all over the place 24 hours a day. I am trying to claim back 15 minutes, but wow, its tough to undo the habit.

Special K-- thanks for the reference! I'm glad to hear its been something you still continue and find benefit from.

ProudtoSpin--Do it! Its somehow easier to meditate with others, so that's a great way to start.

SpecialK

Something that we did in addition to formal meditation was what the study called informal meditation.  It involves trying to focus your mind on what you are doing in that moment - i.e. - if you are washing the dishes, try not to think about whether your child's homework is done, what you are wearing to work tomorrow, whether the leftovers in the fridge are still good, etc. Rather, focus on how the dish feels in your hand, whether the soap suds smell good, how the warm water feels - immerse yourself in the experience you are having as a way to quiet your mind.  One of the examples the instructor used was driving - how many of us drive from place to place and when we arrive we actually don't remember the drive itself - we have been so busy thinking of a million other things.  I know that we think multi-tasking is an effective use of our time, but it has a detrimental effect on the quality of our lives and our minds are too cluttered as a result.  Informal meditation is a way to work on the concept of meditation and get better at the focus part, I found it immensely helpful.  The other major takeaway for me was a full understanding of our inability to change the past, coupled with our lack of control over the future.  This difficulty is one of the reasons this study was developed for women just exiting active treatment, accepting that all we have is the day and moment we are living in was instrumental with coming to peace with my diagnosis and my future.

MagicalBean

Great idea Special. I'll have to try that.

Fourminor

Special K-- GREAT idea. Sounds a little like a lesson I read this weekend in Turning the Mind into an Ally. He was talking about how to bring yourself back from big fantasy thoughts, and noted that sometimes trying to get right back on the breath can be holding your mind too tightly which makes it bolt back again. Instead he suggested trying to just come back to the room where you are sitting. Just notice you are still there, the sensations of that place. Then from there, go back to the breath. I tried it and found it very helpful.

As far as the medical benefit, another meditation instructor told me--although I don't know if this is verified, but it does make sense to me--that daily stress is continually stimulating our sympathetic nervous system, our fight or flight response, activating our adrenals and cortisol production. He said that meditation works by stimulating our parasympathetic nervous system, which is the counterbalance, that relaxes us. He said over time as that pathway is strengthened, it helps us to have some balance to that, which explains its health benefits.

Since my diagnosis I have had high blood pressure readings on my diastolic number--something I never had before even when I was pregnant in my 40's. I'm not overweight and despite having breast cancer, eat pretty healthy--avoiding carbs and sugar, very little meat, lots of veggies--so this is concerning to me as it is not dietary. I do have a job thats sedentary and have been experimenting with working standing some time every day and also with trying to get to a more regular exercise practice--although two surgeries and the various limitations imposed have made that tough also. Its crazy to have gone from someone who never took an aspirin to suddenly having ovarian suppression, being mindful of vitamins like D, magnesium, calcium, AI's are coming at me sometime this month I suspect, and I really don't want to be taking antihypertensives. I definitely have stress--a 4 year old, a full time job, a mortgage to an old house that keeps surprising us with projects we need to do. So my motivation to meditation is at first very practical; my body needs it.

But my second motivation is spiritual. BC has reminded me that life is short, our bodies will age and someday die. The news reminds me that mankind is still very primitive, brutal, and selfish. To live with these realities, I need to connect with something that elevates me to embody what is best about being human. My soul needs it too.

But its still hard to just do it. Today I listened to Susan's short talk on the four immeasurable qualities and followed the short meditation. I give myself credit for sitting, no matter how long or the form.

GemStateGirl

Fourminor--Thanks so much for starting this thread. I mostly read what other people post on BCO rather than post myself but I think this is a really important topic and, like you, I'm surprised I haven't seen more threads on it.

I've done meditation haphazardly over the years, mostly as part of a yoga class or trying something new when I'm away on vacation. I know it works for me--in the sense that it takes me out of myself into a place of deep relaxation--but I've never been successful at developing a daily practice.

I've already found some good references to check out and I'm looking forward to following this thread and getting some more ideas on how to make meditation a part of my life.

Fourminor

GemStateGirl--That'e exactly how I was. Somewhere I felt like I should be doing this, but had no commitment to it,. It seemed like something I would get to "later". Well, later is now.

Saw this last night. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/02/23/meditatio...

As a matter of fact, the only issue I've struggled with in my life prior to breast cancer is insomnia.

bobogirl

Adding this one to my favorites! Thank you fourminor.

Hi Special! As usual, you give an excellent suggestion with that 'doing the dishes meditation.' I am going to try that one.

I do japa mala meditation as often as I can. My mantra is 'Om Navah Shivaya,' which translates to something like 'Om and Salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.' But I think I'm going to try out the Durga mantra shortly.

So hard to do meditation in the mornings for me! Mornings are crazy here. I have two nine-year-olds. Oh, and BTW -- the meditation room sounds absolutely beautiful!

Thank you again for starting this one, fourminor.

glennie19

fourminor,,, your meditation room sounds lovely!  I am trying to get back into yoga which is relaxing and meditative for me. It is so hard to quiet the mind. Constantly thinking of all the things that need doing.

Special K:  good advice on the informal meditation!  I have read numerous articles on how bad multi-tasking is for you, and yet, we all do it,,, and seem to take pride in getting 50 things done at once.  Maybe that is why I like gardening,, it quiets the mind like nothing else for me,, and I am only doing one thing,, raking, weeding,, etc.

Must run now,, but will come back and read your links.  

SpecialK

As I mentioned above we followed the Kabat-Zinn format for the study, so I thought it might be beneficial to link that, and his book Full Catastrophe Living:

http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php

http://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Wisdom-Illness/dp/0739358588

If you google MBSR there is a bunch more info.  Here is a free online course link:

http://palousemindfulness.com/selfguidedMBSR.html

DivineMrsM

Great topic; timely, too. I've tried meditation with various degrees of success. At times, being still and quiet while isolating my thoughts causes me anxiety. The first year after the diagnosis, I spent some time listening to meditation tapes which helped a bit, but I really needed (and found) an anti anxiety medicine to take the edge off. This was a huge help is allowing me to move forward with life.

Even so, there is something to be said for finding ways to quiet our thoughts and learn to flow more easily with life as we engage with it. Special K, your posts are excellent, informative and insightful. Thanks for the link to the MBSR course, I plan to check that out. You mention mindfulness, an informal type meditation, and that's been a huge coping mechanism for me. Learning to be in the moment, the here and now, lends itself to a better quality of life, imo. This practice is also beneficial when other things bother us, not just dealing with bc. My son is soon to graduate college and will be moving out on his own. This transitional period causes me some anxiety and being mindful helps take some of the edge off the worry.

Fourminor, the description of your meditation space is wonderful; you've painted a lovely picture in my mind. I'm a big believer surrounding ourselves with that which we think is beautiful, calming and uplifting.

Not long ago, I bookmarked an article "5 Phrases to Help You Cultivate Calm in a Chaotic World". It mentions equanimity, the practice of repeating a phrase during meditation, and says this can be applied during everyday living, especially when the going gets tough. I liked the phrases, such as "Whether I understand it or not, things are unfolding according to a natural order."
5 Phrases to Help You Cultivate Calm in a Chaotic World | Elana Miller, MD

A couple weeks ago, I happened to google "top meditation videos" to see if I could find something to try. One page listed six videos and one stood out to me, a 10 minute meditation to help ease anxiety,worry and urgency.. I've listened to it numerous times and like it. Even if I listen to it in the early morning, I honestly think I sleep more restfully that night. One thing it mentions is feeling the support of the chair, sofa, whatever you are sitting or lying in, really feeling it. That particular simple instruction makes me feel relaxed and...well...supported, and I take that with me thru the day.
10 Minute Guided Meditation to ease Anxiety, Worry, and Urgency | Soothing | instant Calm | POWERFUL - YouTube

SpecialK

Divine - excellent links! Love the visualization of feeling the support of what you are sitting or lying on - much like the informal meditation techniques.  I too use the mindfulness when faced with stress - useful for me particularly before surgery - which I seem to have to do a lot! I had to say awww when I read the part about your son graduating from college - I remember on our Feb 2011 chemo thread  he was getting ready to graduate from high school!  I know this is a somewhat stressful time because it is a transition and time of uncertainty and he is venturing out into the big bad world - my kids are just a few years older than your son is, I know the feeling well, you will get through it.

Fourminor

Divine Ms.M--Loved the phrases, particularly the one about how we wish happiness for someone but their happiness depends on their choices and not our wishes for them. Helpful to me vis-a-vis my mom.

I do own "Wherever You Go, There You Are'" by Kabat Zinn and that is one of the books I put in my space, although I find myself innately drawn more directly to Buddhist lineage. Maybe it is a past life attachment?

Susan is hosting something called Dharma Gathering on her website with daily lessons from different teachers every day from now through end of March. I debated on subscribing to it ($20 a month), as a way to sample different styles, but I also find too much instruction to be distracting. I prefer instruction just once a week or so, and the rest of the week just to meditate with the timer.

I've considered trying one of the Buddhist communities around me (Brooklyn--there are at least 3 in the borough all accessible on my subway line.) But I'm not sure I can make the time commitment. So, I'm sticking with what I can do, 15 minutes a day.

That said I overslept today and it didn't happen. I'm letting it go.

Welcome Bobogirl and Glennie19! I guess I started this thread as a way to encourage myself by encouraging others, so its good to know I'm not alone. Its hard, really, its amazing that something as simple as sitting with yourself for 15 minutes and trying to focus your mind on breathing could be so difficult. But the benefits seem incontrovertible. And really what else am I doing with that 15 minutes?

glennie19

Does anyone have any apps that they like in particular?  I would love to try listening to one as I fall asleep, or any CD recommendations?   (yes, CD's,, I am that old school!)

Fourminor

I haven't tried these, but noticed this article on apps for mindfulness linked to the NYT article this week:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/10/seeking-s...

Fourminor

I must admit that I totally understand why people give up because after 5-6 weeks so far the only thing I've noticed is that when I realize I've become absorbed in thought, I have a little more of a sense of humor about it as I've come to expect that's just what happens. Sometimes I may be a little quicker to notice that I've checked out, but not always. Progress seems glacial. I guess that's why it's called practice no matter how long you have been at it.

glennie19

I have to say that having a mantra to repeat over and over helped keep me calm when I was having my MRI.

TwoHobbies

I periodically have done some meditation, but it hasn't become a daily habit yet. I love the Headspace app. I think he has a marvelous way of teaching you what meditation is, how to deal with the wandering mind, etc, and he has a lovely voice. Sometimes I do it at lunch, sometimes in the evening, but I do forget a lot of days.

SpecialK

glennie - thank you for reminding me to tune up my mantra!  Or get a new one. I will be practicing my meditation on Monday during bi-lateral hip MRI and a lumbar MRI.  The tech said it is going to be a long afternoon, lol!

bobogirl

In the bag for Monday, Special K!

glennie19

Doesn't sound like much fun, Special K!  In the bag, chanting with you.

DivineMrsM

SpecialK, yes, the past four years since my son's been in college have flown by! Thanks for the reassurance that I will make it through his transition out into the real world, it helps. Best wishes to you with the MRI testing, both the procedure and results

Hopeful82014

FourMinor - Thanks so much for starting a very timely and helpful thread. I've recently started a 'yoga for cancer patients' class and LOVE it - it feels like 90 minutes of effortless meditation. However, I've also felt the need to focus more on both mindfulness and centering prayer. Meditation is part of the continuum, in my opinion.

As an aside, although I've prided myself on my ability to multi-task, I've begun to think that it actively changes our neural pathways and can lead to ADHD. I'd LOVE to see some fMRIs testing that hypothesis. And let's not even get started on being connected all hours of the day and night.

SK and others - thank you for posting so very many wonderful links. You are each a gift and I thank you for sharing who you are so generously.

SpecialK

Thanks all - I am less concerned with the MRI itself than I am with what it may indicate - I appreciate the good wishes.

Divine - interestingly, in some ways I actively parented less as my daughter left college, and in some ways more - she seemed to want more opinion right then, and a confirmation that she was doing all the right things.  It may be a gender thing too - my son seems to require less input, lol!  He was in college, left and was a firefighter for a couple of years, then went back and has about one more year to go, but she was local and he is several states away.  Just as you adjusted when your son left for college, you will make this new adjustment too and you have so much to be proud of - that your son is graduating is due in no small part to you!  I am proud of both of you!   It was very exciting watching DD walk across that stage and take that diploma in her hand!

hopeful - that is such a nice thing to say!

Fourminor

Was wasting time looking at what different buddhist practices are last night. I think Tara Brach, Kabat-Zinn are Vippassina meditation from Mahayana Buddhism? I have been practicing a Tibetan style which is different somehow? Just looking at these things as the going advice is to eventually pick one form and stick with it ( and also to have a teacher) and I like to perseverate over decisions! I was curious because there are three different Buddhist centers I can find in Brooklyn. One is Tibetan, one is Zen, and one is also Zen in Forest tradition. I actually do not have time to go to any of them as they are all hours long, but if I was going to try one I'd like to know more about it. Ultimately it probably doesn't matter.

Anyway I am reading this article on 8 common meditation mistakes:

http://buddhism.about.com/od/Buddhist-Meditation/f...

I would like to add, this is all just me avoiding sitting on the cushion!