Starting Chemo March 2015

Jackbirdie

E- I am so sorry. But you have an uncanny ability to make me snort my drink. "Frankentit"

OMG. You are too funny. I'm still sad for you. So conflicted. Arrrgghhhh

eheinrich

Yay drink snorting! I feel better after meeting with her - even though I hated what she had to say. I think once there is a plan in place that will help.

KBeee

Eileen, Sorry for so many procedures; I hope the results will look great!

Teresa, I hope the family issues settle. None of us needs the added drama.

Sloth, MO sounds a little late to be addressing the anxiety; obviously does not "get it", but better late than never. Hope all goes well today.

Katy, I hope they get the liver numbers figured out. That must be frustrating to not have answers

Hm. I know I wanted to comment on more, but when it's a new page, I can never remember! Darn!

Trvler

Ugh, Theresa. I am sorry about your mom. I understand the stress of a mom with mental/drug disorders. My mom is bipolar and I had to admit her to the psych hospital twice when I lived with her and when I was in California, she almost went over the edge because she was taking prednisone and she didn't tell her doctor she had depression. I thought I was going to have to fly home and deal with it. You are a great daughter for doing it.

Sloth: That makes me so mad they wouldn't give you anything during treatment. WTF is wrong with these doctors?

Eileen: I am sure if looks daunting in the future but you will be done and then you will be happy you did it.

I just got my Stage 2 date. April 21. Excited and nervous. Need to get someone to watch my kids. Things are going better with my ADD daughter. I think I finally figured out how to get her schoolwork on track. The school was no help at all. Thank god I don't have to work and can devote my energy to this.

ksusan

Best of luck, Eileen.

Sloth, I am still gearing up to write a letter to the radiologist's office that entirely downplayed the pain I subsequently experienced from stereotactic biopsy and was unhelpful about any resources for getting and medication other than Tylenol.

rleepac

Hello ladies. Just checking in.

The second half of my iron infusion went better than the first half. I'm going to blame the severe reaction the first time to the combo of Herceptin and iron. Fortunately I don't have to do iron again for a while (I hope) but I have repeat labs at the end of March.

Endoscopy and colonoscopy were totally normal - yay! For the diarrhea...GI doc thinks I have a bacterial overgrowth in my blind stomach (from gastric bypass) so she is hitting me with some fancy antibiotics. And for the epigastric pain...she doesn't know. There are definitely no ulcers so she thinks it might be esophageal spasms. Nothing has been offered for treatment so far.

Annual Pap smear came back perfectly normal.

I have my Tamoxifen baseline pelvic ultrasound this Friday and then I'm done with testing for a while I hope.

They say it should take 6-8 weeks for the iron infusions to kick in and help with energy but DH says I already have more color and look better. Not really feeling it yet but I will get there.

3 more Herceptin to go...

KBeee

Bekah, Glad the test results so far are all normal; hoping that iron infusion kicks in soon so your energy returns.

SpecialK

rleepac - I had esophageal spasms from reflux, but never had heartburn so was not a classic refluxer. I ended up having a Nissen fundoplication surgery as I was maximally medically managed with no relief, but I also followed a GERD diet for a long time - even the mint from my toothpaste caused trouble.  Try eliminating those aggravating foods, if you haven't already, and see if it helps with the spasms.

http://gerddiet.net/gerd-diet-foods-avoid/

rleepac

Thanks SpecialK. I've been following that diet with not much success. It's a little more complicated having had gastric bypass surgery but they aren't giving up yet

Trvler

I am glad things went better for you, Bekah and that the testing looks good.

ksusan

Glad for the good news, Bekah.

Italychick

Yay Bekah, I love hearing good reports!

rleepac

I had to attend a 'mishap reenactment' at the Firehouse the other day (we have our own on-site Fire Dept) and one of the Firefighters that I haven't seen in almost a year was there. He came up and gave me a big bear hug and a kiss on the cheek and he walked away. Everyone looked at me a little weird but I've known these guys for 14 years...I'm their doc, I do their exams every year and fix up their boo-boos, but some of them have become friends too. It felt good to have him care enough to come and hug me.

That's all...just wanted to share

KBeee

those firefighters are pretty nice, aren't they??!!😉🚒🚑😀. I wish our occ med folks were as nice as you. I go for my physical next week... I am dreading it

shaz101

eileen I'm so sorry to read about that! I'm glad you've been given a plan though. It's horrible when you're left in limbo. How the job going? I hope that's been a bit more positive lately.

Katy. How are you coping? I have tried to Skype you a few times without any luck. Maybe we can book a time?

Bekahow, a bear huG from a firey 😍 lucky girl.

eheinrich

Work is much better. My co-teacher & I have worked out our differences and are getting along quite nicely. The kids are great (except one - but there's always one in any group of anything, right?). He's on a destruction mission throughout the class. We'll get him roped in soon (I hope).

Yay Bekah! Both for the good news & the hugs.

avmom

I'm on the run this morning, so I haven't read everything to catch up. My friend has asked me to go with her for her first appointment with her Breast surgeon. She is fairly recently single, and I'm honoured to be asked. It would be nice if the challenging year I've been through could end up helping me to be valuable to someone I care about. I need to focus on being present and emotionally available, and to take very good notes, so she can review them later, when she is less frightened. Well, maybe not less frightened, but less paralyzed by her fears. At the very least, she will get a lot of new information today, as this is the first opportunity for her to pick up a copy of her path report from the biopsy.

Best wishes to all for a good day.

Jackbirdie

Allison- glad you got your date and you are excited. Was also glad to hear you've figured out stuff with your daughter and her school work. So important !!!

Bekah- was very glad to hear the iron infusion has gone better this time. And yay for the handsome and wordless bear hug. A hug like that is worth 1,000 words!

Avmom- I'm so sorry for your friend but so glad she has you. If any of us had had a you those early days would have been quite a different picture. Please watch yourself so that you remain safe from repeat trauma. She is very lucky to have you and so are we!

Sharon- I just noticed yesterday I missed a Skype from you. I don't get alerted when a call is coming anymore. I don't know why. Must have pushed a button. Arrrgghhhh. Yes! Let's set a time. Do you want to pm me with a couple of time slots? Looking forward to hearing you.

Sending hugs to all. Thanks as always for all the love and support.

KBeee

AVmom, Glad you're able to help your friend. You will also know what questions to ask; ones you know are important, but that have not even crossed her mind yet.

pboi

Hello ladies...so much to catch up on...just checking in.

Bekah...so happy the second infusion went better and yay for good results!

BB...congrats on last Herceptin!

My hats off to you ladies still going in to get Herceptin. I was so happy to leave the chemo center...awful memories there. I hope those still going for Herceptin will be done very soon. Unfortunately this month I need to return to the chemo center for Zometa infusions. I hate the idea of going back there, and of course am worried for any side effects from it. I apparently have osteoporosis already even before the AI, so I need to do this. Thankfully it would only be every 6 months.

Many of you know I'm also being treated concurrently for thyroid cancer. All the doctors have told me that there is no connection between my breast and thyroid cancer. Just recently I've seen yet another recent study stating a link between these two cancers. So please make sure to have your thyroid levels checked, be on alert for any lumps in that area, or new throat issues

PB

SueH58

E - So sorry about your Frankentit (I agree, that's really funny!). I had a lumpectomy and a lift/reduction on my other breast. I have to say, I've become quite fond of these girls (named Hope and Pepita). I keep thinking that if I get a recurrence in the breast with the cancer, I will have to have a mastectomy, since I can't have rads again. That makes me very sad. Funny, huh, that it doesn't terrify me, just makes me sad. Although, I'm sure I'll be terrified if it actually happens.

Hope everyone has a good day!

pboi

After seeing Allison's great looking hair, I finally went to get my mullet trimmed, too long in the back but the sides still short. I had been putting it off for so long. I had been waiting what seemed like forever for it to grow back. I'm wanting it to grow back out as fast a possible, so avoided cutting it. But it was starting to look weird so long in the back, so I went to my usual stylist to have it trimmed.

She had cut my hair shorter pre-chemo and had help me shape my wigs. She was happy to see me today and trimmed my hair for free. It looks much better now. I tried to pay her but she said no. I thanked her profusely. I was touched by her kind gesture, yet drove home in tears. She was doing a nice thing, but I can't help think she feels sorry for me. What is wrong with me? Why can't I accept her nice gesture instead of being upset by it? I feel bad, am I just being over-emotional?!? Probably...can I blame the hormones? Or lack of them now?

PB

Jackbirdie

PB- I'm as "effed up" as the next gal, but I say there is nothing wrong with crying after a gesture like that. You don't need to find a reason or to label what you felt. Just acknowledge it. It seems a quite beautiful thing to me, worthy of both grief and praise. Brought tears to my eyes, and I don't feel sorry for you. I feel joy for you that you can connect with your feelings. I am very tempted to turn everything off sometimes, as there is just an overabundance of emotional stimuli.

It is a sign of your health, not the opposite, that you were brave enough, first to feel, then be brave enough to tell!

Hugs

Italychick

pboi I wouldn't look at it as her feeling sorry for you, but more of a Pay It Forward kind of thing. Breast cancer puts the fear in every woman I know. Before I was diagnosed, I always took the time to talk to a person with cancer if they needed it, to just be there, because my feeling was "there but for the grace of God go I".There are people around me who have done things just out of the goodness of their heart. She probably actually admires you for your courage in the face of all you have been through, and a free haircut was her way of acknowledging your path.

pboi

Thanks Katy and Theresa! I have had pretty long hair my entire life and the whole hair loss and now hair growth has been hard for me, even though I know in the grand scheme of things it's just hair! I have a hard time seeing myself with such short hair, and I think I was just highly emotional going to get a trim, and her kind gesture caused my emotions to go into overdrive and to over-react. I agree with Theresa that it was a Pay it Forward kind of thing. Thanks ladies for being here...and sorry for the drama!

PB

KBeee

PB, I am with Theresa. I do not think it's pity. People hate seeing us go through this and they feel helpless. They want to do something; anything to help. When we allow them to, it helps them as much as us. I know that from seeing friends go through this. I have learned to just say thanks, tell them I appreciate it and will pay it forward with a kind gesture to someone else. And then I do. I guarantee you she got more out of that free haircut than you. And on that note, post a picture!!!!

avmom

What a long day! It was interesting, though. My friend K and I went into the city for a 9:39 meeting with her surgeon. He was a gentle man, who took time to review her biopsy path report. Apart from the fact that her lump is an interval cancer(she had a clear mammogram in July, but her lump is high and outside, almost inthe axillary tail, so hard to compress in the mammogram machine). The size is not really small - probably 22 mm x 13 mm, so T2, but that was the only "bad" news. She is ER+, PR-, HER2-, grade 2, so she may not need chemotherapy at all. Probably will have an Oncotype done to make that decision. Her current challenge is to make surgery decisions. She has dense breasts, so has been having specialized mammograms for years, and had a biopsy done on a lump in the other Breast a few years ago. So, she could have lumpectomy plus rads, or single mastectomy, or double mastectomy-all would be valid choices. She could also elect to have immediate reconstruction with implants, or could decide to wait. I think she will call to get a PS consult to discuss BMX and reconstruction options before she decides. She will,have SLNB whatever the surgery.

It is interesting, to have so many choices. Lx plus rads was never really an option for me, and because I was triple negative, I always knew I would have chemotherapy. I'm glad, overall, to have had BMX, and I still have some time to decide about reconstruction. K is in a different position, and she also has very different body image issues. She has always been a slim, fit person, with large and noticeably attractive breasts, so that body image is a large part of her identity. I think that she knows that BMX without immediate reconstruction would just not work for her at all emotionally. It would likely be very difficult to achieve symmetry without doing some surgery on her remaining Breast if she does a single mx. Also, she needs to think about how she will feel about increased surveillance with callbacks, etc., as she has "lumpy" breasts that are very dense. Lots for her to think about.

Next, we met with her nurse navigator, and got copies of her reports and requisitions for pre op tests. Then we had lunch with another friend, and after lunch went to an integrative support clinic, where physicians (not surgeons or practising oncologists) walk through the decision making process, giving information and ways to think through all of the choices. I didn't have that when I was diagnosed, partly because most of my treatment wasn't in the city, and the doc was really, really good, spending almost 2 hours answering questions and providing information. Really good, and I was invited to self refer to the clinic, as they have a "living well after cancer" support program that addresses all sorts of things, including some approaches to help with neuropathy. I'm really about at the point where I'll try almost anything, because my feet are a constant issue.

K has just started a new job 5 months ago, so she is also considering the effect of an extended leave for treatment. She does have reasonable benefits, and money isn't going to be a deciding factor, which is a blessing. One really good thing about the way our health system is set up is that any and all of her treatment options will be 100% covered, whether Lx, MX, BMX, with or without immediate construction, and covering delayed construction if she decides to go that route. All chemo administered as an outpatient is 100% covered. The only out of pocket costs are her portion of drugs not given in a facility, so the dexamethasone and antiemetics if she has to do chemo, and her job benefits will cover 75% of that. She got in for her mammo and ultrasound with a few days of seeing her PCP, and when the mammo and ultrasound were suspicious, they did a core needle biopsy the same day. Whatever surgery she decides on can be scheduled by the end of the month, or maybe the 1st week of March. I'm so sorry she has to deal with this at all, but things are going smoothly, at least so far.

Afterwards, we had takeout Vietnamese at her house, to debrief after all of that information, and I showed her my concave, scarred chest. She was ready to see it, and crazy as it seems, it was a good bonding moment. I am wiped out, though. This was a very intense, emotional day, but I think I was a help. Onward.

SueH58

OMG! What made me venture to the Stage IV board???? I am so depressed. Feeling nightmares coming tonight.

God bless all of us!!!!

avmom

Oh, Sue! I know what you mean. I venture to the stage IV boards sometimes, but it can really throw me. I've been emailing my friend a new acronym -BIBO. breathe in, breathe out. It's what I would often tell people while I was waiting for diagnosis if they asked me how I was doing. All I could come up with was, "I breathe in, I breathe out". Keep doing that!

Here's a hug for you. (((Sue)))

SueH58

thanks, Avmom. I'm feeling teary. Can't wait til I pass my 2/9 cancerversary and mammo at the end of the month.