Starting Chemo March 2015

Trvler

Mary: I did the same thing. My lashes are about 1/16 maybe? But I put mascara on anyway JUST BECAUSE I COULD!!

Theresa: Your hair seems like it is really straight. I don't think you are going to get curls if you are not already. I am kind of jealous because even though my hair is as long as yours, it curls so it doesn't look that long.

Don't want to get political here, but did you guys know that Carly Fiorina had stage 2 BC? She had BMX and chemo and rads. So now she is running for President. So it just goes to show you….It inspires me.

Leighrh

Diane... hugs to you and I'm confident from what the gals have said that you prob have nothing to worry about!!

Ladies with eyebrows and hair....... I see you... and I am beyond jealous.... I still look like that hairless cat! smooth as a baby's but all over... LOL

Question for those of you who wore a wig all the time like me.... Did your wig start to itch when your hair was starting to grow back? I know I am reaching here but all of a sudden my wig is sooooo freaking itchy! I made it through Louisiana summer wearing a wig EVERYDAY and it never itched like it does now! When I get home I lock myself in the bathroom and scratch with a wig comb..... LOL I have no nails to scratch with!!!! Isn't that quite a sight!! LOL

Trvler

Hm….Leigh. That's odd. Maybe your scalp is more sensitive now because your hair is getting ready to grow?

I just got a copy of my surgical report. Wow, if it wasn't me, it would be so fascinating. lol. It still was pretty interesting.

Italychick

Allison, we will see what happens. My hair has a lot of body to it, so I haven't ruled out curls yet, but I'm hopeful. SpecialK has been posting on other forums, so maybe she is just taking a break from scientific things and posting on some of the more fun sites. Or maybe she thinks we don't need her anymore or I guess.

Leigh, have you gotten out the magnifying glass lol? My husband has a giant one, and in my early days when hair started growing, it was my best friend. My new growth started out like little black dots under my skin, and I watched those suckers all the time, saying grow, grow, grow!

Katy, haven't seen you this morning. Hope you are getting some much needed sleep!

Leighrh

Oh I have I damn magnifier.... LOL When the sun is shining in the bathroom window and I look in the magnifying mirror I can see hair... LOL No black dots yet but my head is not really smooth anymore... feels a little rough so I am hoping that is something!!!! I swear I am gonna punch my hubs in the face if he asks me one more time if I am seeing anything yet..... LOL!! Its bad enough I obsess about it on the daily!!

Italychick

Rough is good haha! I've even had my husband take pictures of my head along the way so I can obsess even more and watch the progression. When I look back at my head at the end of chemo, I'm always shocked. Who is that bald woman?

Right now my son and I have the same haircut rofl. And every time my grandson comes over he says, hey your hair is coming back, he hasn't let his mom cut his hair since mine fell out, and he totally freaks and cries if we even bring up a haircut, right now he is rocking a Jim Morrison look. I'm wondering when she is going to say enough is enough and make him get a haircut. I even made him a ponytail the other day, hilarious

SpecialK

I was in California for 8 days with my BFF cleaning out her garage and organizing her house - I only had my phone, but I was monitoring. You all seemed to be doing ok, and I hate typing on my phone, lol! I am home again - and I'm here.

Italychick

SpecialK, glad you are back, and hope you had a wonderful time, despite the cleaning and organizing!

pboi

Thinking of you Diane. I had an experience this spring with possible lesions in my pelvis from an MRI. Two other scans later it was determined to be chemo related changes. I understand the anxiety and worry. Vent if you need to and take some Ativan . We're here for you.Hugs!

PB

eheinrich

Ninjamary: I have been using a bit of spiking gel. Mine is so unruly - cowlicks everywhere. Can't make it lie flat. Spikes are bad ass anyway

Heading out to get my first fill in a bit. Eeeek!

SpecialK

Italy - other than the northern part of the state being on fire (I was in Sacramento) and not doing too much fun stuff, it is always good to see my friend - we always have a good time whatever we are doing!

Diane - certainly hoping you have nothing more than "incidentalomas" on your scan. My DH had an abdominal scan earlier this year which turned up diverticulosis, so he stopped eating nuts/seeds - problem solved. In that first scan they happened to catch the bottom of both lungs - and saw bunches of nodules. This prompted additional scans and a lot of worry. The pulmonary specialist was not concerned, and prescribed a low-dose CT for this month, which is six months later. If it shows no change, he is good to go. The issue with scans is that they often illuminate things that are benign and then require further investigation - it happens more than people think - and I hope that is what this is for you.

Eileen - do you have any valium? It is particularly good at helping with the muscle discomfort that can come with fills. Ask for some if you don't have any, and remember that low and slow is the name of the game. It may mean your TE is in longer but it will be more comfortable in the long run.

Italychick

And she's baaaack! SpecialK, you have been missed! I'm just not you when it comes to having such a sophisticated knowledge base!

SpecialK

Italy - aw thanks!

molly1976

Thinking of you, Diane! I know that has got to be so stressful. The waiting is so terrible.

I had my first post-treatment mammogram today and it was fine! They didn't even have to do any followup photos. SO relieved. I didn't realize how stressed I'd been until after they told me it was fine and then I sat and cried for a little bit. WHEW.

Theresa, my hair is super curly in the back only. It's going to be a weird curly mullet. My husband says it looks like "the hair on an old lady dog." Awesome!

eheinrich

Special K: I still have some. I figured it would be helpful later today.

Trvler

So great to 'see' you, K! Wow, I am jealous of your friend to have a friend who comes to help clean and organize her house!

Just got back from the onc. It was a good visit. Off to the rads doctor next week.

Jackbirdie

Molly- that's wonderful news!

E- good luck today! Glad you have the V.

Special, it really is good to see you. You are always missed and always special.

I'm in construction zone here. Roofing, new tub and tile surround, kitchen countertops. They just found dry rot under the bathroom floor, unexpectedly, and unbudgeted, and it's all coming out. Ugh. Otherwise I am sleeping better but have now had a severe and immediate slide into depression. Hasn't been this bad through all of chemo, since dx. Like falling down an elevator shaft in a matter of hours. The worst was Tuesday. Im a bit more stable now. I have no explanation for it.I'm seeing my shrink today. Ugh.

Trvler

Oh, Katy. I am so sorry. I hope you can get some resolution with your doctor. I hate seeing you suffer even a tiny bit.

pboi

So sorry to hear Katy, and like Allison said I hope seeing your shrink today will help. Hugs!

Sounds like so much construction is going on in your house...must be a bit chaotic. Yay for a new tub! I bet it's all gonna look so beautiful when it's all done. 😊

PB

Jackbirdie

Thanks PB- I'm sure you are correct. The chaos and noise has not helped. Here's what it looks like now:

They just found some dry rot under that subfloor. So it's all coming out. Ugh. No budget for this. I'm sure it will look really good when it is done though. Thanks.

SpecialK

Hello all!

trvler - I am one of those weirdos who loves to clean and organize - even my spices are alphabetized, lol! This was for my absolute BFF - I would give her my kidney if she needed one. We mostly worked by also took some good walks and had some yummy food.

jackbirdie - you have dealt with a lot recently with diagnosis/treatment and a lot of SE, ongoing pain, divorce, moving, and now construction, understandable to have a backslide. Hope you can get some help from your doc asap. Also hope your home improvements turn out beautifully, despite the unforeseen budget challenges.

Italychick

Katy, since I have a step daughter with bipolar, as you know because you have helped me so much, routine is important. You have had so many changes to process in such a short amount of time that I am hopeful once you settle in your house and can get back to ordinary life things won't be so overwhelming. At least that's what I see with Lexi. We have her on a routine, journaling, a scheduled exercise plan and therapy, all because of you! And the doctor changed all her medications, and I have to say she is doing great! All thanks to you. Two trips to the psych ward early this year before you helped me, and now she is out there living life, exercising, coming to visit, and best of all, SLEEPING!

And all because of you, you wonderful person! My husband and I talk about you everyday, and want to do something nice for you, because you reached out and helped us when Lexi was at her darkest hour, the worst she has ever been. The turnaround is miraculous!

Please let me know if I can do anything to help you at all. Love you, sister!

eheinrich

Katy: I know what you mean about the elevator. It's so hard. I'm sending you all the hugs in the world.

Yay construction ! Booo chaos and noise. My kitty ran away during for the repiping. Came back after they left. Hate to tell her a window is being replaced today & the plumber comes back tomorrow. Poor kitty.

Jackbirdie

Tutti snuck under the house through the open bathroom construction! Just this morning. The plumber was really nice and patient and didn't push to start until we heard her mew. He scooped her up and brought her to me. It didn't matter anyway, because they found dry rot and it's all come to a screeching halt.

Special- thanks. What you and Italy say is true. I'll try to be a little more understanding and cling to what routine I can.

T- that is just the best news. I never like to ask, in anyone's case. But that is simply wonderful. You just did help me by sharing that. Thank you. I was quite shocked and taken by surprise by this recent slide. I've done so well during the hardest of times. It doesn't really make sense for it to happen now. But part of what is hard to battle is how it doesn't always make sense. I have tools, I have support, and a great doctor. But ultimately it is my commitment to self- monitoring, (honest self-monitoring) that will protect me. And there is no guarantee I can prevent an episode, ever. Sometimes it just comes down to damage control.

E- thanks for the validation and standing with me in solidarity.

I really don't know what I would do without all of you. The connection, and the need for it, did not stop when chemo ended. I hope it never stops.

Love you all so much.

K

Trvler

Theresa: What a nice tribute to Katy! (Although I know she knows she has touched a lot of lives but it never hurts to hear).

Special: Sounds like a good time was had by all. I WISH I could get that organized. (Chicago is lovely this time of year.

BBwithBC45

Katy, I don't have many words of wisdom. I'm not great with words, period (I feel better in a world of numbers ), but I just want to send good vibes your way.

I wonder if there is something in the air too, I'm a little weepy today, but this too shall pass.

eheinrich

Much years ago we had a really really dumb cat. We had a bathroom remodel done while I was out of town. Alan was in charge. He called me one night while I was at a conference in DC. He could hear meowing that appeared to be coming from nowhere. I guided him through some steps to find the source. Turned out Izzy had gotten dry walled in during the remodel. He was at a loss as to what to do (so smart but not handy. At all. Not even a little bit). I told him to find a hammer. "Where are those?" "Toolbox" "Where's that?" Finds it. "What do I do with it?" - eventually he broke through the dry wall & rescued her. When the guy came back to repair the dry wall - SHE DID IT AGAIN!!!!! Ahhhhhhh.

Found mine under the house yesterday. Cats can be kinda dumb.....

Trvler

OMG!! Eileen, that's f-ing hilarious.

DavisD

Thank you all for the words of support, I know it will be ok now! Each and every response made a difference. I am so lucky to have this group. I scheduled the MRI for Oct 1.

Katy-I sent you a private message before reading the thread. You are such a wonderful person and your kindness and compassion never ceases to amaze me. I know about the depressive episodes, it never makes sense. You know what you need to do and you will keep plodding forward and it will pass. This connection will last forever! Much love.

shaz101

katy it saddens me to think you are not doing so well. You make all of us feel so special. I'm sure you must feel our love and concern for you. I'm sure it is linked with all the disruption and stress. I hope the pshyc helps. Know that I along with many of us are by your side. You will never be alone.