Starting Chemo March 2015

SpecialK

jackbirdie - you're not bald - I can see your tiny hair!  And you are beautiful without the scarf, just more beautiful with it!  Awesome gift!

ksusan

My husband says I look like I was attacked by a bear and then shot.

Well, as long as he thinks that's hot!

SueH58

Theresa, so sorry! I meant to address to Bekah. I'm glad you're through with surgeries!!!!! And sorry, Bekah!

ThePrincess

SpecialK, you are a wealth of information!! Thank you!

slothabouttown

What I lack in hairs I make up for in sincerity. You're all doing a fucking great job!

Carrie37

Hope everyone is doing well or as well as can be expected. Katy, the scarf is beautiful! Sharon, you are so so kind.

I can't believe the insensitivity of some nurses/doctors. I met with my BS today and she was 1.5 hours late. I know it happens and she is great but it really was a long day. My surgery will be 30 days PFC. My rads will start 3 months after surgery. All this time I keep whining about my long road of treatment. I know it could be worse. My DH has been my cheerleader; always encouraging me that it will be over soon. After the doctor today I could sense his mood and asked what was wrong. He said he realized this will last a lot longer than he thought. Ugh. He also is worried about finances since I will have time off work for recovery. Have I mentioned that cancer is a stupid m-f'er!!!

Carrie37

Sloth... That is great!! LMAO!!

SueH58

Katy/Sharon - What a magnificent scarf. I must admit I'm a bit jealous, but no one deserves it like Katy does. What a kind, supportive group of ladies. I'm honored to have met you all!

Italychick

Kary, beautiful scarf! That was so amazingly sweet of Sharon!

Sloth, you and I are twins, my hair looks exactly like yours.

Just got back from bike ride, I love my bike! I think I actually have more fatigue right now than I did through chemo, believe it or not. My husband said the steroids really trash the adrenals, so he isn't surprised, said it will take awhile to recover.

SpecialK, how did you know your skin stuff was skin cancer?

SpecialK

sloth - I snorted my drink up my nose when I saw that pic, lol! Your facial expression is priceless! You are hilarious!

Princess - my pleasure!

ksusan - um, not sure he thinks it's hot..., add to that the other side - my chest - is somewhat of a freak show after 14 surgeries and currently only one implant, lol! The 8 assirtedsurgeries that preceded breast cancer have left me looking a bit road map-ish. We keep laughing though!

Italy - when I had the first skin cancer it was in a weird spot - right where butt cheek meets upper thigh - not a place that has seen much of the sun! It wasn't easy to really see it because of where it was located. I could feel it when I pulled jeans up, so I saw a dermatologist. Biopsy was basal cell carcinoma. Since then mine have presented exactly the same way - pink like a pencil eraser, irregular border and slightly raised, slightly pearlescent. I don't really have to worry about it because at this point I go every 6 months for a skin check, so they find them for me - and they biopsy something every time - 100% of my biopsies have been cancer. I had three removed during breast cancer treatment.

ksusan

We're going for a "landscape" metaphor.

so-she-did

Sloth - love the pic and the card! Your hair is coming in great! Wish mine would take the hint.


Katy and Sharon - the scarf is beautiful!


What looks like a chicken, sounds like a chicken, and definitely acts like a chicken? You guessed it! I chickened out on getting my port taken out. The first thing my BS asked was if I was sure I was done with it. Um....nope. My cue to run - lol! He was great in talking it over with me and ultimately left it up to me since he doesn't think there is much of a chance of anything showing up in the scans. At least I don't have to spend the week worrying if I should have left it in. In fact, it has greatly lessened my fear of the results. I'm no longer tempting fate, I guess, by having it removed. My God I'm becoming neurotic!

rleepac

In having nipple/skin-sparing BMX with reconstruction done 8/18. My excisional biopsy had dirty margins and I had one node involved. They said lumpectomy would be adequate but I opted for BMX. Throwing the kitchen sink at this beast!

Bekah

Carrie37

Bekah, we might end up being surgery twins too. I don't have a final date. The MO told me today that my port will be taken out during surgery. That means I have to finish the Herceptin through an IV. That annoys the shit out of me. I have horrible veins. The port bothered me at first but I have come to like not having nurses dig around for my veins. Off to the spa today for round 9/12 taxol. Good luck to everyone else in the chair today.

Carrie37

SpecialK, you are a awesome warrior!

Katy, did I hear you say final chemo?!?!?!!! A preemptive 🎉🎊🎆🎉🎊🎆🎉🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔

molly1976

Carrie, you don't have the option of keeping it? I can't imagine the MO making you get it out if you really want to keep it. I would ask, for sure.

Trvler

I am getting my port out on 8/18 because of the blood clot. I need to be off the blood thinners before surgery. I can't wait to get it out. I hate the mf-er for doing that to me.

Sharon and Katy: What a lovely gift. You were very talented, Sharon!

Special: You continue to amaze me with your knowledge and strength.

ninjamary

Katy - you look like you have a halo/aura around your head in that picture! Love it. Scarf is beautiful also.

SpecialK

carrie - why is the MO telling you that you have to remove your port?  Most MO tell their Her2+ patients that they want them to keep their ports in for the short term. Why would this be his call anyway? I would tell him that it is your decision, not his. I still have mine actually, but my MO wanted me to keep it for two years beyond the end of Herceptin.

Thanks guys for the compliment!

ninjamary

sloth - love the picture and I wish I had that much hair. The card is AWESOME.

Allison - totally agree about that mf-er port. I f'n hate it. I'd prefer to finish taxol via my veins rather than the port. If mine clogs again that thing is f'n out of here. It's unnatural and protruding. It protrudes more every week too.

On a sexy note..I actually had sex this morning. It was like I was a damn virgin. Completely tight and dry. He seems happy and even though it was painful for me at least hubby was interested. Well I know he still loves me, but I just feel like a lump sexually and just in general. I look at him all healthy, good looking and fit and wonder what he sees when he looks at me. My daughter told me I looked liked Mr. Peanut minus the monocle (which was freaking hysterical!) the other day and now I feel like Mr. Peanut with his big stomach and tiny legs. LOL .

mysunshine48

Bekah, I had a BMX on April 10, with expanders. Any questions, please ask.

mysunshine48

Oh, and look at the header April and May surgeries. You will find a lot of information there.

Jackbirdie

Carrie- I just logged on quickly to say good luck to you today. I wish you could just tell them no to the port removal today. I understand about the bad veins. You still do have a long road ahead of you. I wanted to write something to you last night but I didn't know what. I'm so glad your DH has been such a support and I feel for both of you that you've been so far already and still have so far to go. The worst is over.

I woke up completely not myself this morning. Or if it's me, it's not one I recognize. I'm shaking and crying and nauseous. Ok. Who are you and what have you done with Katy? I suppose it's the combination of the emotional enormity of slogging through six of these and the outright fear of what this last one will do. And knowing, that even now, I could change my mind.

So I am just sick. I called my bestie at 6am and we agreed a clonazepam is in order. Maybe two. So I took one, and I'm just waiting to take the steroids and put the port cream on. My port was fussy last week and they had to man handle it a bit and I'm still bruised. I feel very.bashed.up. And scared. Anybody out there to hold my hand for a minute???

Leighrh

Katy.... I am here and will hold your hand!! This is IT!! LAST ONE!!! You have GOT THIS!!! Don't sweat it! It is all up hill from here....

What other catch phrases can I think of.... LOL  Really though... No matter what SE's you have, you can know that it's the last you will see of them!!

I am scared today too.. 2nd Taxol and first didn't go so well, had a reaction and I am scared it will happen again.  Was up most of the night thinking about it but I will take an Ativan when I get there and hopefully it will all go fine!

I am taking you with me to the chair today!! XOXOXO!!!

 

Jackbirdie

Ninja- thanks about the halo hair haha.

I'm sorry it hurt, but I'm glad he loves you (of course he does, you are frikkin adorable!). I'm already on the edge this morning, but when you said what you see when you look at him and wonder what he sees when he looks at you, I cried. Big crocodile tears. What he sees is the woman he fell in love with. Beautiful still, and STRONGER than he ever you knew you could be. And funny too. I'm glad you have each other

Jackbirdie

oh Leigh THANK you! We will get through it together today. Take a second Ativan with you just in case. They don't like to give a second it to you because you are driving. They've advised me to bring my own and use my judgement. JUDGEMENT! Ha! If they only knew

Ask them to slow the drip down to the absolute SLOWEST they can. It will take longer, yes, but there is abundant anecdotal evidence that your body will react less.

mysunshine48

I am in the chair today too! Did not sleep......always nervous! But, we can do this. I get an inspiration email everyday. This morning was "When you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts, positive things will happen." I am going to keep repeating this!

Good luck to all of us today. Wish we could all be in the same room holding hands!

Leighrh

Oh  I am bringing the whole bottle, and going to ask for Zanax if it happens again, which of course they have assured me it won't.... funny though I DO NOT believe them.... LOL!!  I asked last week before about the reaction and of course MO  said.. "oh that is so rare"....

Jackbirdie

I am reminded of way back in the beginning when we had just met and didn't really know each other at all. We were all terrified and got each other through it. I really don't know who this imposter is superimposed on my real self, my strong self. Hope the "pam" kicks in soon. I don't want to take the steroids yet. They will for sure just jack me up again.

Help me Spock

Leighrh

Oh how I wish we could all go together and hold hands Sun... That would make walking into that infusion room so much better to see you gals

Now the site of those double doors to the room is sickening to me