My husband tells EVERYONE

Sjacobs146

When I was first diagnosed, I hoped to get away with not telling many people. Unfortunately, chemo happened, so more people found out. My husband started by wanting to out me on Facebook, but I asked him not to. Now I'm done with chemo, getting through rads, and working on putting this behind me. Lately it seems like my husband is telling everyone he meets what I'm "going through". He told our tax preparer, and when we met with our financial planner recently, he said to me as we were leaving: "Why didn't you tell him what you're going through?". Family and friends, fine, but I'd really like for people to be told on a need to know basis only. I'm not ashamed, or embarrassed, I just want to keep my personal health issues private as much as possible. Is that so strange?

leggo

Sjacobs, I totally understand where you're coming from. I've ALWAYS wanted nobody to know, but my husband felt the need to blab wherever he went. Shocked the hell out of me too, when out of the blue I'd get calls from acquaintances about how sorry they were blah, blah. I seriously questioned whether or not I wanted to stick around with someone "playing MY cancer card". Why he felt the need to do it, especially since I'm someone who would never, is beyond me. Looking back, I think he wanted sympathy. I guess he wanted to make the statement "woe is me and I'm so awesome for looking after my sick wife". I saw him in a whole different light after that. Soooo not the man I married, but I guess we don't find this out until a life-threatening illness comes into our lives. Doesn't make me any less angry about it, but I had to forgive and move on. Still think he's a jerk for doing it though, and I had to make it clear that if he ever did it again, I'm gone and he can find a different reason to manipulate someone into thinking he's so awesome.

leggo

Just remembered a rather humorous thread on the subject.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/823641?page=1#top

cinnamonsmiles

UGGHHH....my boyfriend of 4.5 years is a blabber mouth,too. I like to be in control of who knows what, especially with his mother. I was having a hysterectomy with ovaries and tubes removed,too. She told his family members I was having ankle surgery. He tells people he works with my medical issues. I only met two of his coworkers and I don't want them knowing my information.

He gets irritated when I tell him I do NOT want him telling family or work, but that's tough. There are somethings I want private between us.

Sjacobs146

Lego, that is a funny thread. I'm not sure why he wants to tell everyone, I don't think that it's for sympathy per se. Maybe I will ask him

Meow13

I can relate, mine told our veterinarian. It was really awkward.