How is life with one boob?

mtrebtoske316

I am in the beginning of the decision making process of whether to have reconstruction after a UMX. I see benefits for both, as well as drawbacks. I am trying to imagine what it would be like to be flat on one side or having something artificial inserted into my pectoral muscles to be "normal" and whole. I like the idea of being more balanced and not having the hassle of a prosthetic, yet at what expense?. I can almost see it being easier having both breasts removed and living flat or with breast forms, but keeping the one seems harder to imagine/ deal with. I don't want to take both because the one is healthy and I still want the sensation in my healthy breast, and to preserve it. Have other people experienced this same dilemma and where did you land? Is there anyone who has regretted any decisions they have made because of this dilemma?

glennie19

I have not regretted being flat.  I did not want to go thru all the extra surgeries and I didn't like the idea of having a foreign "thing" stuck in my chest. I can barely stand my implanted tooth.  I found it very easy to be half flat. Sometimes I would wear a foob,, usually when I go out,,, but at home I was mostly flat. Wearing a foob is really easy,,, you put on a bra, and slip it in the pocket.  Not a big deal,, to me anyway.

My biggest challenge with being half flat has been since I developed truncal lymphedema. It has been difficult to figure out how to get compression where I need it, without squashing my remaining breast. There have been times when I thought it would be so much easier if I was all flat, but like you, I didnt wish to remove healthy breast. I have figured it out now!

I never found the prostethic to be that much of a hassle. Some days it was like,, hmmm, which one shall i wear today? The silicon? the foam?  Which one suits me more today?

Ariom is also an UNi, so I'm sure she will chime in on this subject too.

TB90

Like Glennie mentioned above, I have not regretted being a uni for one moment.  When my breast surgeon asked me if I wanted reconstruction, I immediately declared "no".  I do not even really know where that decision came from, but it was firm and I would not even consider further surgery.  I was very fortunate to have a female breast surgeon that completely supported my decision and even had a little smile when she jokingly stated, "do you want to think about that for a moment?"  I love having my one breast (in Canada they are not so quick to remove a healthy breast) and having absolutely no lingering discomfort or pain as I am very active.  My DH and adult son are very proud of my decision and both have even commented on how much closer a hug now feels from me.  I feel even more sensual than before as I have toned my body and lost some extra weight.  My DH comments constantly on how wonderful I look and has never avoided my breast area.  I get a few lovingly jokes thrown at me now and then and as I am so comfortable with my new body, I love this light heartedness.  I recently had to fetch my swimming prosthesis out of a pool in Mexico as I had forgotten to remove the cover and "attach" it to my skin (little things you may learn later if you chose this route).  We laughed about this for days.  Physically, I have never felt better.  Having said all of this, it is a very personal decision and has to be the right one for you.  I support everyone's decision as it is right for them.  I just wanted you to know that for me and many others, this is just the perfect decision.    

Ariom

Hi Glennie and TB! My Uni sisters!

Hello mtrebotske, I am another Uni, who doesn't have any regrets, about my decision. I knew from the very beginning that recon would never, be something I could do. I don't have anything against anyone else doing it and I love it when I hear a good recon result story, but as Glennie said, having that foreign thing inside me, was not something I could deal with, either!

I also couldn't in good conscience, remove my healthy breast, but that is just me.I had a Mother who was a Uni, so I was fortunate, to have her experience to draw on and for me, having a functioning, healthy breast, is a good thing!

I am very similar to TB, in that, I have a very understanding husband who made certain I would never have any self esteem issues, right from the get go. I must admit to feeling a tad apprehensive, but when he saw my scar, for the first time, the morning after my surgery, he said "Wow! that will heal really well, you don't need 2 boobs to be gorgeous!" That set the scene for me and I haven't looked back. If he feels like that, I couldn't care less, what anyone else thinks!

We also have a lot of lighthearted banter, with my adult daughter joining in, too. I feel much like TB, I haven't any ongoing issues My Husband has no issue whatsoever with the way my chest looks or feels, in fact we really like how I can snuggle in closer to him in bed and I can feel his heart, through my flat side.

I have a huge collection of foobs, boobs and prosthesis, lingerie with pockets and clothing that can hold my forms too. One of our members here, actually named the place I keep everything "The FoobMoire" LOL We all have funny stories about foobs, but like the others, I just don't think about it any more. Once I decide what I am wearing each day, that's it, till I take that outfit and foob off, at night. I occasionally go half flat and even though I am a "D" on the remaining side, I can wear a firm, shape wear tank top and no one notices.

I wish you all the very best, with your decision and hope hearing from the 3 of us, who have very similar stories, may help you in some small way. There will be others along, who will share their experiences too!

mtrebtoske316

than you all for your responses. So helpful and reassuring. I vascilate back and forth each day. Now I'm leaning towards no reconstruction. I want to visit some stores to look at breast forms and products and talk to others. I also have another consult on Friday with the plastic surgeon to ask all of my follow up questions. so glad you are out there to hear from. I'll keep you posted. Also ...what's the hardest part abboonbeing a uni? What's the biggest pain in the butt about it if anything?

Nel138281

scarves, scarves and more scarves.  Like the others before me and for many of the same reasons I have not regretted my decision.  Some times I wear my foob and sometimes I just go unbalanced (lol)  Love me for who I am, not what I have.  And if you can't or don't , not my problem.  But some clothes look better with the foob.,so I do have one

Ariom

Hi metrobotske! I know this will sound weird, but I read your post and then really thought about what may be a real pain in the butt about being a Uni and I really can't think of anything, that really bugs me any more.

I am 2 years out now and I have spent quite a lot of time and effort, to find the clothing that really works for me, that includes properly fitted bras, camisoles and tops. When I was new to this and getting used to being a Uni, I did have a pet hate, which was what I call, "Fall Forward". It was when I would lean forward while wearing a less than perfect neckline and the silicone foob and bra would fall away from my chest, exposing my flat side. It happened in a supermarket one morning, as I put the things from the cart onto the counter. I looked up, as I heard a slight gasp from the checkout girl, who quickly looked away. I went home and went through my wardrobe, removing every low cut, or wide neck top.LOL

For me, getting properly fitted by an experienced and well trained fitter, for Mx bras, forms and clothing, has made life much easier. I barely notice that I am wearing a foob at all now and the right bra means, I am comfortable, all day.

I am sure the others will be along and will have experiences to share with you. All I can say, is take your time with your decision, make it all about you and what feels right, for you! Good Luck!

TB90

Like Ariom, I have thought long and hard about what is difficult about being an uni.  There were initial adjustments finding the best foob, etc. and I too used scarves during the healing phase when wearing anything was uncomfortable.  I was initially quite fearful of looking different and then quickly realized that no one noticed anything.  I treated myself with lots of gorgeous under clothes and nighties, etc.  The only thing that I still have to be a bit careful of is purchasing tops that are cut a bit higher, or hug the body better.  But this is such a minor adjustment.  As I lost weight too, I had to completely start all over with a new wardrobe anyhow.  Now I simply do not even think about being an uni (except for being in this exclusive club on BCO with some terrific women). 

glennie19

Agree with the other ladies. There is an initial adjustment period where you find what tops and bras and foobs work for you, but once you figure that out, it's not bad at all. Slip your foob in today's bra and you are good to go. Or go flat if you feel like it.  I"m small so not very noticeable on me,, and if weather is cold and you are wearing sweaters,,, REALLy not noticeable in bulkier clothes.

TB90

Oh, but when it is cold out, sometimes I have only one "head light"

flannelette

I'm a uniboober too, and agree with most of what's been said. No way could i stand some foreign thing in my body!. I love my one breast (they were one of my best physical assets) but gently bid the other one goodby & never looked back. i did not spend any time looking for forms etc. but lead a very casual life with no job that has me dealing with people all day so I mostly don't even wear a bra. i always hated them. I have little tricks - tees with knots at the centre, ruched tops, criss-cross, bias cuts that drape & droop & other thing that fool the eye. I finally got a real prosthesis after 2 or 3 years, in case I had to look snazzy in something fitted, in public. My remaining boob is a biggy D, too, but i barely think about it. I do not, however, wear the regular tight-fitting tees any more except perhaps when going to bed, so i can answer the door, braless, but fool the eye of whoever comes knocking. Can't imagine the extra surgery & fuss. Plus a THING in my body. That i can feel, but doesn't have sensation? never.

Fluffygerbillips

I am not a uniboober, I'm currently undergoing reconstruction after BMX, but my cousin has been a uniboober for 5 years. She recently made the personal decision to reconstruct.... My point isn't to say that you will change your mind too but to say you CAN change your mind! If you are not comfortable with the idea of reconstruction yet (or ever), don't feel preasured, it's not now-or-never .

suemed8749

Another uniboober here (great phrase!) However, I chose immediate reconstruction with a tissue expander placed during the mastectomy (March 2008) and exchange for a silicone implant (Mentor Memory Gel) 8 months later. I don't regret my choice - glad I was able to keep the healthy breast (I had a lift on it with no loss of sensation) and have not had problems with the implant. Still have the "one headlight" issue, so I wear a lined bra with clothes and a cami with a shelf bra under clingy pajama tops. It's good that you are exploring your options so that you can make the choice that is best for you!

Jennie93

Another uniboober chiming in. Recon never occurred to me for a moment, mainly because, for various reasons, I am not a good surgical candidate and would never undergo surgery or general anesthesia for anything that wasn't absolutely medically necessary. Because I wasn't considering it, I did not research the various options, but as I have heard more about them from reading here, all I can think is, honestly, WHY would anyone put themselves through that? I have seen photos of "frankenboobs" as they are often called here, that made me cringe. And like others have said, the idea of having a foreign object implanted in my body just makes me squirm. (And women are usually not told that implants will need to be replaced about every 10 years...) Why put the silicone into your body when you can just slip it into your bra, and take it off at the end of the day or whenever it gets uncomfortable?

I would recommend reading this if you are considering implants. https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topic/...

Ariom

Fluffygerbillips, you make a good and very valid point. My Surgeon had no issue when I told him I would not be reconstructing, but he did say, that the door was never closed, if I ever changed my mind. I was happy with that, not because I could see me ever considering it, but just to know that you can, if you want to.

I mentioned on another thread, the difference in the numbers of women opting for reconstruction in Australia seems to be much lower than the US and Canada. I don't know the actual country wide stats, but my surgeon was telling me that in the 4 years he has been practicing here, in Australia, he has done about 200 Mx surgeries and of those 200, only 2 women had decided to reconstruct. Also, the BC support group I am involved with has 23 members, most of whom had Mx surgeries, only 1 has reconstructed, and like your sister, she decided to do it many years after, her original surgery.

cider8

the most annoying part of uniboobing is the swimsuit issue and the correct neckline. Just when you think it's high enough while not a neck hugging crew neck, you bend over and see the cavern. Not embarrassing but more of an internal eye roll.

Jennie93

Honestly the biggest regret I have is that nobody offered me the option to have them both off. Apparently around here they don't believe in removing the healthy one. It was never discussed as an option. I'm not sure what choice I would have made, because hindsight is 20-20. Having one still, means I have to wear a bra, out in public at least, and no one warned me that I might develop truncal LE (which I did) or that I might still have pain around the incisions years later (which I do), and those things make wearing a bra quite painful.

LindaKR

I'm a uni also, almost 5 years post MX, no recon, no regrets. I never considered reconstruction, not exactly sure why, but it was just a no for me, also wasn't comfortable removing my healthy breast. I have several different weight foobs, I wear the one that works for my day, some days I go half flat. I never wear a prosthesis when I swim, maybe I would if we went to Hawaii or on a cruise, but at our local pool or at a hotel I just swim half flat. Happy with my decisions! My family has been behind me 100%. Remember there is no rush, if you decide you really want to reconstruct, that option will be there.

mtrebtoske316

wow, I am so blessed and honored to have all of those wonderful responses and the genuine support from you awesome uniboobers. I'll have a week yet to decide, and the info you provided has been and will be critical in that process. Hope to talk to you all more soon. Oh and one more question, is wearing the foob in the hot summer months really hot and sweaty? I love in mn where we have humid, muggy hot summers. And I love lounging in the sun.

amygil81

I am also a uniboober, have been for many years now. I am a D cup, so my missing breast is noticeable when I don't wear anything in my empty bra cup. I've made do with one breast and a foob for so long that it's just part of my life.

My surgeon occasionally mentions doing a prophylactic mastectomy if I wanted. She only recommends it as the standard of care if the patient has lobular bc (I don't), but she'll do it for others if they insist.

I've never really been tempted. Partly, to be blunt about it, is that they've already cut off enough of me for this damn disease (left leg for bone cancer as a teen, and now my left breast and part of my chest wall). If I had cancer on the other side, of course it would have to go, but not until then.

The other part is the loss of sexual sensation from my nipple. That's what I miss most from losing my breast. I find it somewhat more difficult to get things started, and also somewhat more difficult to reach my orgasm. I'd be really sorry if I lost the other one as well. If recon would give me that sensation back, I’d have it in a shot, but of course, it doesn’t.

Anyway, that's what works for me. I wish you the best in this tough decision, and in all of your bc journey.

Erica3681

Hi mtrebtoske316,

Though I had a bilateral mastectomy (cancer in each breast), afterwards, I started a non-profit website, BreastFree.org, where there are several Personal Stories by uniboobers, which you might find helpful, in addition to the excellent feedback you've already received here: Carol's Story, Pam's Story, and Stephanie's story.

Also, I agree with Fluffygerbillips and Ariom that delayed reconstruction is almost always an option. And you don't have to leave extra skin behind for it to be possible (you may find extra skin unsightly and uncomfortable, so I don't recommend it if you decide not to reconstruct; your skin can still be stretched later if you decide to have implant reconstruction, and flap surgery doesn't require extra skin, either). My breast surgeon gave me some helpful advice about this -- she said that the most unhappy patients she's had are those who (like you) were on the fence about reconstruction and went ahead with immediate recon, then regretted it later. It's a very personal decision, but if you really are on the fence, bear in mind that it's easier to reconstruct later than to undo a reconstruction (although that's also possible). The surgery to undo reconstruction (e.g. remove an implant) may not be so difficult per se, but women who choose to deconstruct sometimes struggle with regret at having put themselves through recon surgery only to have to endure yet another surgery to undo it.

Finally, in answer to your question about hot weather, some women are bothered more than others by sweating behind their breast forms. I tend to be bothered, so deal with that by wearing non-silicone forms more often in the warm weather. You can find slightly weighted non-silicone forms that will look good in a bra but won't be hot against your skin. There are also newer silicone forms that are specially designed to minimize perspiration. And some mastectomy bras have microfiber pockets that help with that as well. As others have said, finding what works for each of us is a matter of trial and error. It took me quite a bit of experimenting to figure out the best options for myself.

Best of luck, whatever you decide!

crystalphm

I have the experience of being both. I was a uni for about 18 months, and then cancer returned so I immediately had the second breast removed. I didn't mind being a uni, I however did choose to wear a form or scarf when I had only one breast. My remaining breast was a 38 C and I felt the "girl" needed containment. I wore stretch bras and the form wore very well in them. Now that I have both breasts gone, I appreciate not having to wear a bra at all. I still choose to wear scarves at times.

I still am very appreciative of my doctor who never pushed reconstruction. It was all I could do to wrap my brain around getting rid of the cancer.

caaclark

I will chime in too.  I have never regretted not reconstructing.  I also have one remaining breast so I wear a prosthetic on the flat side.  I did lots of research 9 years ago when I was diagnosed but I knew early on that I did not want to reconstruct.  If you haven't already check out www.breastfree.org.  It was created by a bc.org member and has several stories of women who have chosen not to reconstruct.  Mine is under "Carol's Story".

I was 40 when I was diagnosed and I remember people thinking that because I was young I would want to reconstruct.  So many people do not really understand why I chose not to but I am so glad I did not.  My docs also did not push recon although sometimes one of them will ask me if I ever think about it. 

BTW- I still wear low neck shirts.  I know what people mean about bending down and having the prosthetic move away from your chest.  I do attach many of my shirts to my bra straps by using fashion tape, sometimes called hollywood tape.

caaclark

Duh! I just saw that Erica already posted.  I didn't read the entire thread prior to responding.

wleeky1952

Another uniboober chiming in ! I did not choose to have reconstruction and have not regretted it. I agree with Arimon regarding the low cut blouses. I am self conscious and did not want to show the absent tissue area but have found I am now more comfortable with my body. My surgeon was excellent and told me if I changed my mind I had that option later. At night when I get home from work bra is the first thing that comes off . I have had lymphedema in my left arm and I am currently going to a physical therapist with excellent results. We measured my left arm yesterday and it is down an entire inch. I am older (63) and maybe would have had the recon if I had been younger.

Best wishes for whatever decision you make!

Would love to know if there are any Kentucky girls out there!

angelia50

wleeky, I am also from Kentucky and had a uni mastectomy but I did choose to have reconstruction.

Morwenna

I am happy to see so many sisters who are contented "Uni-Boobers", but just for the sake of balance: ...... I was a UNI for over two years and did not really get on with being that way. I guess I had some truncal LE and tenderness persisted over my chest wall area. I wore my silicone prosthetic a handful of times only, when dressing up required me to wear a "proper bra", and could not wait to get it off as soon as circumstances permitted.

I have also had a prosthetic escape from my bathing suit, with hilarious consequences, during a deep water workout

For day to day comfort I wore those soft "Genie-bra" type things, and a weighted foam Foob, but they really didn't do much in the way of support for my remaining "Good" DD side. I was also suspicious of that side that it might be hiding a cancer that wasn't showing (most of my original tumour didn't show up, and was WAAAY larger than they thought), or would in time develop one. It was a source of anxiety for me that I felt I could do without!

Anyway, I have just had a 2nd mastectomy and bilateral autologous reconstruction (muscle sparing TRAM), and I am very happy I have done it. My surgeons here in Calgary, Canada, listened to and accepted my reasoning, and never tried to tell me it was an unnecessary surgery or talk me out of it. (Except my GP who decided I was bonkers!)

My poor foobie on the irradiated side is a little smaller than the other side which had immediate recon, and more surgery to even things up is in the air (no rush on my part!).

I would not countenance having implant/s personally. I don't like the idea nor the look, and my body does not do well with "foreign bodies", and I'm sure I would have had problems if I'd gone that route, quite apart from my irradiated tissues making things more difficult.

If push had come to shove, and autologous recon had not been possible, I think I could have come to terms with being bilaterally flat, - better than being one-sided -, but I'm glad my flaps seem to have worked (and I like my new flat tummy!!!)

flannelette

Uniboober here, too. My surgeon would only give me the go-ahead for recon. after 2 years, but I never really wanted one anyway. Ugh - the thought of a foreign object in my body. I hate bras so at home, where I am always braless, tend to wear things with some camoflage effect - tees knotted at the centre, things with bias cuts, and i no longer wear the basic tee, as I have one great d-cup boob which might freak someone out if i had to answer the door...I sometimes wear the prosthesis (such an ugly word) when i have to look like a well-dressed regular woman with 2 boobs. sometimes I get by with enough camoflage by layers or patterns that i don't bother with the bra when going out.

I only swim at a private swimming hole so don't much care about the swimsuit thing, though i would feel somewhat uncomfortable if up close to a lot of strangers in a pool or something.

I have my one nice boob, always my best asset, and that's enough for me. if i were younger might have chosen differently, or had a job where i had to meet the public all the time....

Evilmidget

I had my left breast removed in January, 2015 and don't know why I didn't request the other one be removed at the same time. I told my surgeon I didn't want reconstruction and to please make my incision as flat as possible. I finished rads (I had unclear margins) in April and met with my surgeon about a week later. I told her I'd like my other breast removed and she said, since it's elective surgery I should make sure to take all the vacations etc. before the surgery because, although that breast is cancer free, it's never 100% clear until the pathology says it's clear. So...long story short, I'm having the next MX in October. That way I can enjoy Summer, and bike riding, hiking, golfing AND the brand new Great Pyrenees puppy that we'll be bringing home in early July.

Kicks

When I had my UMX, recon was not an option at the time being IBC. I had thought when I hit the year mark and could possibly have recon I wasn't sure rather or not I wanted to do it. I had no limitations on doing anything I want to do but another surgery - might developed issues that would limit 'living'. Hubby had been very supportive of me saying I wanted recon BUT he was happy when I told him I had decided against recon. Turned out, he did not want me to do more surgery that was unnecessary but supported me if I wanted it.

I have never regretted not doing recon! I always wear my pros. and feel great. I never think about a difference - feels 'normal'.

When it's warm enough here, I wear tank tops. I wear tankinis swimming (too old for bikinis). I am very active - riding (our horses and my bicycle), mowing with my push mower, gardening, fly fishing are some of what I do. Oh yeah, I do deal with LE but the more I do the less issues I have.

amygil81

Bumping this thread, because we're discussing living with a uni.