Scared

MamaM

I can't get myself to move past the fear of all of this & worry all day long. I am trying so hard to stay busy & will be "ok" for a few days & then it all hits me & I feel overwhelmed again. Everyone is telling me that my Oncotype of 6 is a great thing & they act like now that's all I have to deal with. I am in between two oncologist appts & making treatment decisions. I am so worried that just doing hormonal treatment won't be enough. My oncotype worries me that it is so low because most people with smaller tumors have higher oncotype scores. I don't understand how mine is lower????? Family is living their lives as usual while I feel like I'm on my own & scared all of the time. How do you move past this point?????

farmerlucy

My oncotype was 3 with a 1.1 cm tumor. Many thought that was good - but for me it was disaster. Regardless of our diagnosis, age, stage, this really hits us hard emotionally. I wish there was a magic pill to get you through this anxiety. Time will take care of most of it, but in the mean time be sure to pull in all the "big guns" to help you cope, antianxiety meds, anti-depressants, counseling, journaling, exercise - whatever works for you. Your family will move on much quicker than you - it is easier for them to see our good prognosis. Us - we focus on those darn % points and what ifs. That's why BCO is such a great place. We get it. Hang in there.

Anonymous

Ditto to farmerlucy's post. I also read and re-read the inspirational stories of long time survivors of bc who had worse dxes that I did. That helped too. I felt like I was under glass while everything else moved around me, but that passed. I continued to work so that kept my mind off the fear--it was a great mind break because I had to engage with teaching and my students (who didn't know what I was going through). I researched things I could do (diet, exercise, etc.) on my own which made me feel like I had some control. That helped. Remember, fear is normal. It's freaking uncomfortable but it's a human, normal thing. It's in us to keep us aware, safe and alive. Knowing that helped me cope (and xanax from time to time, too). Hugs

grammakathy

We really understand where you are.  I remember going to my first oncology appointment, knowing (hah!) I was OK because I had a hysterectomy years ago and now no evidence in my lymph nodes.  I was shocked when he told me there were hormones in my body fat that could feed any stray cancer cells.  At the time, I was horrified and didn't know how I could move on.  It helped to just focus on one appointment at a time - one step at a time.  I also avoided making decisions until I had enough information from the doctors to make it.  I also encourage you to have someone with you to help ask questions or at least make notes at your appointments.  It is hard to go through this, but we can step up and do it because there is no other choice.  Hugs to you!