Surgery is on the 19th

concernedhubbyalan

My wife's surgery is set for the 19th. She will be having a bilateral mastectomy with a TRAM reconstruction. The surgery will be around 8-9 hours and she will be in an ICU-like setting for a week before she can come home. Any tips, tricks, or the like for me as a caregiver would be greatly appreciated, since I'm all the family she has. Needless to say, I'm a nervous wreck.

LAstar

Alan, you might post in the Breast Reconstruction section also with a heading about TRAM flaps to get the attention of those who have gone through it.

I've had a flap procedure and my husband was extremely helpful. He cooked, changed my bandages, stripped my drains, and took care of our daughter for the 6 weeks I was recovering. One thing you can do with all those well-meaning friends from your other post is to ask them to bring food when your wife is home from the hospital. If anyone is willing to organize this for you, let them. Take any offers for help with the house, dog walking, laundry, etc. You will be busy keeping everything together while your wife rests, and you will get pretty worn out yourself.

This will all be so much better when the surgery is over and she is moving ahead on healing, I promise! Take some down time with her, watch some silly comedy, and have some laughs. I surrounded myself with positive loving people during this process, and you wouldn't believe how much fun we had. In times like this, so many extraneous issues fall away and what is most important shines through.

concernedhubbyalan

Thanks for the kind words. Sorry it took so long to respond, but as you can imagine, I've been pretty busy.

As far as food prep goes, I was once a professional chef. (No, not famous. No Food Network appearances here. Needless to say, I'm a big fan of the GI Bill, paid for culinary school.) But putting the gum flappers to work on other stuff isn't such a bad idea. They have time to talk, they have time to help.