Just found out my SURGERY DATE, it is so real now!!!

Mchelle5520z

I knew for a month I had breast cancer, now I know it is totally real. Some days I am totally fine, just going on about my day, working at my job as a CNA, or just washing dishes at home, and I just really break down, and cry. No warning, just happens, and I really hate it, because I never used to do that. I could hold it together no matter what, but this thing called breast cancer really has turned me for a loop. I work third shift, and once I went 3 days with only 2hrs of sleep each day. I broke down and asked for something to help me sleep, so I could function.  I am going to have surgery for left mastectomy in two weeks. I am 37, never been sick or in the hospital, ever (no kids), and I am very nervous. I have been a caregiver for almost 19 years, and I hope everything will be okay. Best thoughts for everybody on here, because you never know what will happen to you.

Professor50

Mchelle5520z, You hang in there! I found that having the surgery scheduled did make things seem "more real" but also made me feel like I was one step closer to not constantly thinking about cancer all the time! Of course this experience has thrown you for a loop. It's a big deal. But as you said, you are young, healthy, and strong. Those are going to be big big resources going forward. Do whatever is best for you to deal with the waiting. I will keep you in my thoughts.

tanyah

Hi Michelle, we sound very similar.  I too am 37 and been healthy my whole life.  I'm also used to always holding it together,  I find sleep is so important so glad you have some help with that now.  On days when I sleep well, I can take everything in stride.  Otherwise, I'm a bit of an emotional wreck.  I will say (having  been through surgery and now 2 sessions of chemo) that things got better once I actually started treatment.  The waiting for a surgery date and not knowing the plan, dates etc was hardest for me, emotionally.  Physically, chemo has been hardest.  Having said that, it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.  Also, as much as these message boards are a great source of information and support, I have also found that if I spend too much time...it can really bring me down.  It is too easy to get wrapped up in all of the sad stories and forget that statistics are really on our side, for the most part.  Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.     

SweetHope

Mchelle, the first thing my NP did upon dx was prescribe Xanax. It's been three months and I still have pills left. But they sure helped get me through those "waiting" days and nights.

Ditto on all that Professor50 said.

Nash54

Mchelle, the Xanax was a godsend. Don't know how I would have gotten thru the first couple of months without it. It gets easier with time. Being in good health will help tremendously. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will get thru this.

(((hugs)))