So stressed out and anxious...any tips?

cheshire84

My mom has/had breast cancer and finished her treatment in October. She was staged as a IIB-a relatively small tumor at 1.2 cm's with one "micromestastis" in one out of the two sentinel nodes. She did the oncotype test and her score was a 13...so she did not do chemo, but rather radiation and hormone therapy. I should be happy that her treatment is finished but I find myself SO anxious every time she has a problem or a doctor's appointment. Recently she has been complaining about a pain in her stomach near the top (and she thinks it is her gallbladder). She is having an ultrasound on Tuesday and I Just feel CONSUMED by anxiety. That stupid less than a millimeter cancer cell in her lymph node stresses me out. This pain could be a million things but I'm so stressed this is going to be the moment that they've found cancer again. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this type of stuff?

GemStateGirl

If you haven't already tried listening to relaxation tapes, I would recommend giving them a try. The link below is to some free downloads of a number of different types. I was very stressed and anxious when I was first diagnosed and these helped me so much I didn't need to take the Xanax I was prescribed. If they don't work for you, you could ask your doctor for a prescription for something like Xanax. It helps to do something to break the anxiety loop in your mind. Once you do that you should be able to keep the anxiety at bay for a longer period of time even without some help.

https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health/care/!ut/p/a0/FchBDoMgEADAt_iAzYZEYfFmhH6hhdsGiZIIGELt99seZ9DjC33hO-3cUy18_uxCLD22md9bqnCnLVZ8okd_Nd4zoysVAocj_o9bT-GM6IzVap2MBamlBCGsgEWPBohoUkKp8UErXjnTZxmGL2IKPpI!/

What you're experiencing is completely normal under the circumstances and it will get better with time but it's good to have some tools to help when it gets out of hand. Unfortunately, once someone has cancer, the fear of recurrence is something most people have to learn to live with. It sounds like in the scheme of things your Mom's diagnosis gives her a good chance of not having a recurrence but unfortunately without a 100% guarantee it won't come back most people struggle with the anxiety you're experiencing. I hope you can find a way to deal with it soon.

ETA: Unfortunately, when I checked the link it didn't go to the correct web location. If you Google "Belleruth Naparstek Kaiser" you should get a link near the top of the search results to Kaiser's health videos and podcasts. That's what I was hoping to link you to above.

cheshire84

Thank you so much! I will definitely give that a try.

JohnSmith

Exercise is a wise idea too.

concernedhubbyalan

It may be hard, but hobbies help.

Every so often, my wife who was just diagnosed, throws me out of the house to hang out with my buddies or sends me to the bedroom to play video games when she senses I'm about to have a stress attack.

concernedhubbyalan

It may be hard, but hobbies help.

Every so often, my wife who was just diagnosed, throws me out of the house to hang out with my buddies or sends me to the bedroom to play video games when she senses I'm about to have a stress attack.

pajim

Cheshire, can you see a counselor about this?  It feels like you think your anxiety level is too high. 

Can you not "borrow trouble"?  My approach to things is it isn't worth worrying about something until it happens.  Worrying won't change tomorrow and will only ruin today's peace.

P.S.  Gallbladder issues are very common in women.