Other women lost their ability to have an orgasm with sex?

macb04

This is hard to ask, but I want to know I am not alone. I have one real breast left after they chopped up my other 2plus years ago. I am 49 now and my husband and have I sex once per week. I haven't had a period since November 2012. Seems that no matter what I try I can't have an orgasm during sex. I can get "there" on my own, but not with him. He does try, but it seems to be nearly a completely impossible situation. I used to enjoy sex, it was pure pleasure,comfort, relaxation. . I liked feeling sensual,like a woman. Now I don't feel like a woman. I can't even get there with him. Foreplay last so long i am wearing out, and it doesn't seem to make a difference. It makes me angry and bitter. I have lost so much, this is one more thing they took from me. Will the ******* who call themselves doctors ever stop wreaking my life? Why didn't they tell me the TRUTH about this or any of it???I feel neutered, not grateful. I wasn't old enough to have decided to give up sex, I was only 46 for Gods sake. My husband just says "oh well, nothing we can do about it". This was so very important to me, it was the main glue that held us together. Now it seems we don't get on well, and that we fight more in the last two years than we did in the preceding 12. I know that"cancer is a strain on any marriage ", but the sex was a good thing to balance out the bad stuff. Now it is gone for the most part,we still try but it is not good, it is not enough. I try various supplements, but have had no luck figuring this out. I plan to try oxytocin supplements in desperation, I don't know what else to do. He won't try counseling. I go to one, but he would rather be run over by a train than go see someone about this or any of the rest of it. I wonder if we will last out the next year. For my girls I try to keep it going.

kcat2013

Macb04, I'm sorry your dealing with this and it's affecting your marriage so much. I'm 35 and thanks to Tamoxifen and Lupron injections it takes me much much longer to orgasm, if at all. For us, we've found a balance between just enjoying sex together without the expectation that I'll climax and just accepting it'll take alot of time and "work" to get me there the other times.

Kendra

Moderators

Hello Macb04,

Thanks for starting this topic as it is such an important one!

You will find that you're not alone when it comes to issues related to sex after treatment and surgery.

So many other women can relate and will have gone through similar problems.

You might like to check out our section on the main site on Sex and Intimacy. It has lots of advice, 'frequently asked questions' and 'Ask the expert conferences'.

Sex and Intimacy

Big Hugs!

The Mods