One year down, 50 to go

Anonymous

It's been a year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 28. The first thing I asked was "is it Stage IV?" because I thought staging was something that could be found from a biopsy. The surgeon told me he believed it wasn't and I know now he was talking out of his a$$ but that was what I needed to hold me over until I could get all my scans done. Then I had to pack up my apartment, quit my part-time job and was faced with the humiliation of moving back in with my parents.

Since then, things have gotten better and worse.

The better: my long-distance BF moved in with us and we got married. All my scans were clear for mets. We found out that I had an aggressive (we already knew that) but highly treatable type. I had a strong response to neoadjuvant chemo. I got into the arm of the clinical trial I had hoped for. Recent data supported my decision to do aggressive hormone therapy.

The worse: My mom was also diagnosed with breast cancer. Then my aunt was diagnosed with uterine cancer. My brother divorced a woman the whole family loved and she's pretty much cut ties with us. And I've developed major anxiety and PTSD worrying about the cancer coming back. A year ago I knew nothing about metastatic recurrence. I thought the only people who died from it were Stage IV from the start.

So while I'm glad I made it, I still feel like I'm at the very beginning at this battle. Sigh.

MaxineO

Congratulations on making it through a year. One day at a time and another year will fly by, and so on, and so on...to 50 years and beyond. You've been dealt a tough hand; I wish you and yours better health in the new year.

mary625

Congratulations! I agree that you have been dealt a tough hand. You are very strong indeed. Hugs to you.

Elizabeth1959

i think you have been through a tremendous ordeal. No wonder you have PTSD. Who wouldn't. It's hard enough to deal with stage 3 breast cancer at age 51, I can't imagine dealing with it in your 20's. I think you have demonstrated tremendous courage and strength.

I'm with you on the 50 to go. Ok in my case I'll settle for 30.

I also had no idea about stage 4. I really didn't get it at al

TectonicShift

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mary625

I kept thinking "how bad can this be? I went to my mammogram every year and just 8 months ago." Never thought about Stage IV until they started sending me for scans. Knew nothing about BC. You are a smart young woman.

Anonymous

I knew about Stage IV because when I found the lump, I stumbled upon a blog in my internet research of a young woman who was Stage IV out of the gate because her lump didn't show up on a mammogram (ILC) and her fu*ktard doctors blew her off (sorry for the language but there's few words strong enough to describe how I feel about doctors who would rather let women die than do their due diligence. My grandmother was also victim of such doctors back in the 80s). But I thought "as long as I MAKE the doctors listen to me that won't be me." I didn't think it would even turn out to be cancer, I just wanted to be cautious. Well, it wasn't me but it almost was. Huge tumor, lots of nodes. I'm lucky to be posting here instead of the Stage IV forum. I didn't realize how much trouble I was in until after my ultrasound when I looked up staging information. It was a blow.

Elizabeth, right now I'd settle for 30 too! But I predict that if I make it that far, I will have stopped bartering with whatever higher power is out there and want those extra 20 years too.

And about the username, when I first made my account here, I was terrified and not in the mood to think up a cute or creative name. And of course I had sincerely hoped that I would only need the services of this board for a brief time.

Love and merry christmas to everyone here.

RainDew

a very merry Xmas Bad At Usernames. :-)

I think I know you from YSC boards too...and totally relate to this.

The Fear. No idea how to get over The Fear. But I am learning to find joy in small things, which is sustaining me. It's weird, now that I am done w chemo there are whole weeks when this whole cancer thing seems like a bad dream. Then I remember The Fear. But it can't stay like that. It just can't.

So roll on the next 50! (At least roll on next year...)