Starting Chemo January 2015

RV6gal

Thanks for all the nice comments about Bailey! I think her eyes will change to brown just not sure when that happens!

Spookisgirl – Sorry to hear you ended up in the hospital with a chest virus!Hope those antibiotics are kicking its butt and you get home right away! Hope you also get the chemo as scheduled but don't let it stress you if you need to wait for a bit!

Marjo – I'm in awe with you about volunteering to be a first responder.Good for you! Good luck on Friday with your first Taxol!You will do great!!

Kristin – I am happy to hear you are feeling so much better on the new chemo. I can't wait to get out and start walking again.It does help tremendously!I'm just waiting for my feet to improve now.

Cherylfg – I haven't experienced any bending of my nails but I do find mine to be tender.I have been using a nail hardener to keep them strong like dstar.I have heard of some people saying they got wonky lines in their nails.That's better than lifting for sure!

TeriMP -.Cancer is a horrible sneaky disease and it is especially hard when you hear a young woman has lost her life to it!Very tough!! I'm so very sorry.I hope your MO is able to help you get the time you need to heal instead of having to go back to work before surgery.In the scheme of things, it isn't much to the insurance company but can make a world of difference for you.

Well I'm officially done with chemo.I went to see my oncologist today and it has been determined that my feet are a grade 3 PPE (not good).She gave me a couple of options to consider.The first was to wait another week and then get ½ of the original dose of Taxotere.This could still impact the condition of my feet though.The other option was to stop the treatment.Since this was to be my last one anyway, I decided to stop.They couldn't tell me exactly how long it will take for my feet to heal but another treatment would have just prolonged my agony and I didn't think ½ a dose wouldn't be giving me much benefit.So chemo done! Yeah me!!I am starting Tamoxifen tomorrow morning though.It has SE's as well but I will keep my fingers crossed that they are minimal. They will probably move up my radiation treatment now since I'm already 3 weeks PFC.The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned plus the removal of my port would be great too!As mentioned in the past, quality of life is an important part of this and I am completely happy with my decision to stop chemo.I think my feet are already feeling better..ha ha!

PMR53

Hi All!

With summer coming I thought I would share this link for hats with hair. Wigs can be hot and this is a cooler alternative. I got one to match my hair and trimmed it up. Here is the link. http://www.jodihat.com/

Patty

Cherylfg

Wendy- congratulations on finishing chemo! How does it feel?

Chery

Beachbum1023

RV6gal, I am going to do your Happy Dance for you, rest those feet! But I will be clapping and singing too. You will need those feet soon to walk Bailey! Cheryl

Brandi999

I'm 2 weeks out from chemo and my side effects are a bit less. I have only a little numbness in my fingers and my feet are mostly done peeling, I think.I feel pretty clear headed for the most part. I still get worn out really easily and I get hot flashes constantly, day and night. My biggest issue right now is my shoulder, which started hurting right before chemo treatments. I ignored it for a few months and finally went to a doctor. They still don't know what's wrong with it but I went to a physical therapist to try some exercises and I feel it's just getting worse. A cortisone shot also did nothing. Tonight I went to Painting With a Twist, which is a 2 hour long class on a specific painting and the instructor was trying to adjust the volume on the music when the room suddenly erupted in sound. It seriously sounded like an explosion happened and it startled me so bad it jarred my shoulder. It was pretty embarrassing because I nearly started crying from the pain. I really think I need to push for an MRI. It is seriously bad timing.

Beachbum1023

Brandi, I am so sorry that this is still a painful issue for you, you have been through so much you certainly deserve a break! I hope they figure it out for you soon. Cheryl

Jerseygirl927

u 4. I have both in same breast, both no big deal to MO , no nodes involved already post menaposal seems they treat both the same anyway. Going in for 3rd chemo tomorrow, hoping its a go, was not last week, I might have lymphadema , got a lab report that stated lympho cells present, not sure what that means but gonna check with BS . Good luck all. Maryann

PMR53

Brandi- I am sorry about the shoulder. What in the heck? I think pushing for an MRI would set your mind at ease. I get tired and startle easily too. Some days I feel like crap.... I think we are very fragile right now. I am just trying to put one foot in front of the other. Surgery is going to be here before we know it. Trying to get as strong as I can physically. The mental emotional strength is another thing. Hang in there. We will get thru this. Summer is coming!

Patty

Brandi999

Patty, I'm not sure but I think they were worried about insurance not paying for it if surgery wasn't an option at this time. My breast recon surgery is scheduled in 3 weeks. I'm going to have a chiropractor friend look at it but pretty sure I'll be calling the doctor on Monday.

RV6gal

Brandi - I hope you get relief for your shoulder pain soon too so you can focus on your upcoming surgery!

Beachbum! Thanks for doing the happy dance for me!

Cherylfg - Even though I still have several SE's, its amazing how they just don't feel as bad knowing I don't have to go back for any more chemo! I guess that shows how powerful our minds can be!

PMR53 - I checked out the website and those hats are sure nice! Neat idea.

Wendy

spookisgirl

HI all,

I am home from the hospital equipped with magic mouthwash and codeine cough syrup. Slowly starting to mend, but everything has now been officially delay one full week It's disappointing, but I will adjust, and hopefully it will be the only delay I will have. In the end the believe it is a chest cold complicated by chemo side effects of mouth sores and dry mouth. Fevers have been mild last couple days, so hopefully with the meds it will all sort itself out in time to begin taxol next Friday.

So sorry to hear about the difficulties others are having with side effects and other issues. Chemo is bad enough, adding to it seems unjust, but I guess it shows us how strong we really are, even if we don't feel it.

take care all,

Jenn

Beachbum1023

Spookisgirl, I hope you get much needed rest and repair quickly! Feel Better! Cheryl

RV6gal

Jenn, glad to hear you are now home! Speedy healing so there are no further delays with chemo! You are right - We are strong!

I got my radiation start date - April 23! Glad they were able to bump it up. Sooner started sooner done.

Wendy

Brandi999

Spookisgirl, of all the chemo side effects I never got, it was the mouth problems and I really think it was from doing oil pulling every day. Every time I skipped a day I'd start to have problems and as soon as I got back into it they went away.

thecolorpurple

Jenn,

I am so glad you are home, but if am sorry for your delay. Take good care of yourself, get lots of rest. I'm thinking about you!

Kristin

Noor46

Jenn, glad for you that your home again, rest and take it easy. I drink everyday 3 cups of fresh gingertea and since I have no mouthsores. I didn't take gingertea at my first taxotere, because I thought ginger only helps with nausea, but when my mouth and throat felt very dry I drank the tea and in 2 days I had no more mouthproblems Maybe worth trying?

RVgal, I love your dog! Those eyes, too cute! And I'am happy for you you finished chemo.

Brandy, I hope they figure out soon what is the problem with your shoulder.

My second taxotere went well, at this moment I am only a little tired, but no joint/pains sofar. I hope it stays this way.

thecolorpurple

Hi everyone,

Thinking about you all tonight, hoping you are all feeling well.

Since I have been off the AC and on the taxol I have really improved my eating, lots of salads, juicing, clean eating. Also exercising a lot 5-7 miles on nn work days with doggies friends and hubby. Have 4 taxol so down, 8 to go. Have appt for gyn consult for lap oopherectomy and appt with plastic surgeon to discuss recon.

Anyone heard of fat transfer vs expanders/ implants. I intend to lose about 30 # to get to a BMI in the low 20's to improve survival and my breasts will be prob in the A range then so if this is possible I sure would like to try. Want really small breasts for running and all my athletic interests.

Had chemo yesterday and iced as usual - I hate it but watched amovie to distract it was Forrest Gump this time. The steroids kept me up all night last night, yuck. Hoping for better sleep tonight.

Jenn, I sure hope you are recovering well, Wendy I hope your feet are better everyday, Brandi I hope your shoulder is less painful. Thinking of you all.

Take care, love,

Kristin

Tennisfan

Dear Kristin, you inspired me as this morning I woke up with an urge to go running. Went 30 minutes around the neighborhood to see how I would react as I hadn't run in years - go figure! Probably because I learned I gained 5 pounds in the last three months and taxol AND menopause are not going to help me!!! Just after my first Taxol yesterday I had a craving for McDonald fries (again) so I had to make the cab stop on the way back, and took the opportunity to get ice cream. Hum. Not exactly eating clean but since I have only 2.5 months of this to go I figured I can come back to my habits soon enough lol. Hence the urge to run I guess.

On the topic of expanders versus fat graft, my understanding is that similar to flaps, there are good candidates and bad candidates for every type of procedure and you and your PS will look into what the best possibilities are for you, your body type, etc. As an example, I walked in saying "no flap", and he said I wasn't a good candidate for a flap anyways. My understanding is that fat grafts complement the flap or Implant procedure but unsure if you can go on fat grafts alone?

Two things are for sure, the first one is that fat reacts to life along with your body, so if you loose or gain weight your breasts will react accordingly... And I don't know if that's good or bad.

Full disclosure for something to think about: I had a breast reduction when I was 16. At the time everyone was wearing spaghetti strap camisoles and I felt bad with what I considered my big boobs (36C). I was on numerous sports teams and asked, no I BEGGED for an A cup for similar reasons to yours. Given my body type, frame and height, the PS settled for a B cup. Over time, I gained weight and now my breasts are a D cup and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world!!! And you know that I am very athletic like you but that has never bothered me at all and I never have any trouble finding sports bras that fit me perfectly. Also, even with a D cup my PS assured me that I can go bra free for the rest of my life, except for sports lol.

Second, fat graft will definitely feel more natural than implants. A lot of it is personal choice as I would never have chosen a flap, as an example, even if offered, while I saw a woman's video who got one after multiple procedures to correct her implants, and she was jumping up and down saying how natural her new breasts felt!!!

Not sure if this is helping as I realize I am talking about three types all mixed together but thought I'd share my perrsonal experience in case it helps you even if a little...

Have a lovely weekend, everyone!

P.s. Thinking of you fellow Canadian TeriMP and hope that each day that passes makes you feel a little better re: the loss of your friend. I pray that this doesn't happen to anyone in this group. I understand how upsetting this must have been for you.

Also thinking of Jenn (Spookisgirl) in the hope that you are on the mend and that you will get rid of those mouth sores quickly. Sigh

Tennisfan

p.s. Forgot to say hello to other fellow Canadian Jenn in the hope that you are on the mend and that you will get rid of those mouth sores quiclkly..

spookisgirl

Hi all,

Definitely on the mend and I think the break from chemo has me feeling more 'normal' as well. I suddenly have my motivation back I have been missing for a while now. Thank you all very much for the advice! The strange thing about my mouth sores is that other than one at the inside corner of my mouth I didn't know I had them or the thrush as it was all in my throat, and it wasn't until the doc took a look back there that he even saw them. All makes sense in the end, I guess.

Coughing much less and energy on the rise. Taking it easy this weekend, but hoping to get back at things on Monday. Biggest issue right now are multiple hot flashes, sometimes they seem constant.

Hugs to all,

Jenn

TeriMP

hi ladies,

I hope everyone is doing well! Glad to hear you are getting your energy back and starting to feel good again spookisgirl!

Thank you ladies for you kind words/support. Unfortunately I did not know her very well other than introductions when I joined the group and information that she had posted. It just really started me that she was diagnosed as early stage and then a month later passed away from this horrible disease. I feel for her two little children and get husband; it should have never happened.

I met with my plastic surgeon and once the other day, both went really well. My plastic surgeon was very thorough and answered all my questions, made it clear he wants me to have at least 6 months off between chemo and surgery to ensure my immune system is back to normal and I am strong. He said if he feels there is any risk he will cancel it. I am happy he is taking this seriously and not trying to push me through quickly. I did ask about fat grafting (if any bumps after implants are in) but I guess in saskatchewan (not too sure about country) it is not covered as "reconstructive surgery". He said it is a great procedure to ensure women are provided the best esthetic outcome and is appalled it isn't covered. He said after my surgery if t looks like I need it I will need to lobby to the health minister. He said there isn't enough advocates for us in regards to the reconstruction portion of this disease.

Onc was able to put my fears to rest, I will be starting tamoxifen next week. I wanted to do the ovarian suppressants as well given the SOFT results but she said the shots are not yet covered yet by the government, she is hoping that it will be in the next couple of months. Once it is we will be starting that. She said she can keep me off work a couple months at a time so least that is a start. Blood work is all normal, I won't be having any further testing just physicals/blood work.

I hope everyone is enjoying the spring weather, and is able to get outside for some fresh air.

Enjoy the weekend!

Teri

mommacat4

loriekg,

my whole body swells up. My feet constantly hurt. My hands are swollen to the point my rings are so tight I can't even turn them on my finger. My legs are so tight that if I squat down then stand up my legs from my thigh to my knee feels like they are being torn as I stand back up And they burn the entire time until I can sit down and relax them.

My feel are numb, they are peeling and they hurt. It doesn't matter how much water I drink.

mommacat4

Hello ladies,

I have been off the grid for a while now. I think about 2 weeks. Last week my son was sick and didn't go to school all week. The ER dr said he had a virus and the incubation period is 7 to 10 days so naturally I hope I don't get it.

I missed some of the conversations going on here. I have tried to catch up but I am still a little lost.

I think I have fallen into some kind of depression state. Thus the reason for me not joining all the conversation here. I feel like I have been hiding in a dark cold lonely cave. I still feel depressed but my daily schedule has been so busy that I feel like I have absolutely no time for myself. every day this month I have something wrote on my calendar that I have to do. I am so warn out that I don't want to do any of it. This is just an example, Monday, I see my Rads Dr for an initial consultation. Also, that afternoon my daughter has a dr appointment. Tuesday, I have bloodwork, Wednesday I have chemotherapy, also, that afternoon my son has counceling. Thursday is my cousins birthday. Friday, my son has a doctor appointment. I feel like I can't get a break. My whole month had been like this.Last week my sister and I had to make the decision to put our grandma in hospice. If she lives to July 5th she will be 90 years old. She is our last living grandparent. Both our parents are already gone so it will just be my sister and I and a brother who is incarcerated .

My husband worries about me but he really is no help to me. He has not once made me a meal, I am still cooking for him, even when I don't feel like it. He does work 50+ hours a week and with my short term disability ending next week his overtime will surely come in handy but I told him tonight that after all this chemo and radiation is finished, if I EVER get cancer again, I am not doing this crap again. I will just let it go. He just looked at me and didn't say anything. I don't know what I was expecting him to say. Maybe a little encouragement or understanding or something but No, nothing.

I think I need a therapist but I don't know what to look for. I don't want just a councellor who will only talk about one subject. I want someone who will be able to talk to me about everything because I don't have only one thing or issue going on. There is a lot going on that I am not discussing on these threads. Please no one take this confession personally but I try to only keep cancer related stuff here. I know there are a few times I post things about my family and that does help me because all the support I get here is amazing and I thank you all very much for your support and love. I know you all get where I am right now and that means a lot to me.

Does anyone have suggestions on what type of therapist I should look for and where to start looking? I know my insurance but with my experience with them they only have counceling which only address one issue. As you all know, there are many things that go along with cancer And life.

I would appreciate any suggestions.

Thank you all for being my friend and for being here.

SweetHope

Cat, first thing, here is a gentle hug and let's pretend we are sitting together and I am holding your hand. Now here is some tough love....You have breast cancer and you are in the middle of chemotherapy with real side effects. You and your family seem to be ignoring these facts. Trying to keep your hectic schedule caring for the rest of your family and not putting yourself first right now is taking a toll on your body. Quit it!

Have pizza delivered, stock up on frozen dinners, send your cousin a lovely card and stay home and put those injured feet up and rest. Have your sister help with the kids. Working 50+ hours a week doesn't excuse Hubby from helping out. Be honest, you worked much more than 50 hours a week working, tending to him, raising the kids and keeping up with household chores! He loves you, of course, and is worried, but he probably is like most adult men and is clueless on how to help you. They just don't have the nurturing gene. Tell him what you need.

Please call your MO tomorrow morning and get a referral for whatever therapy your insurance allows. And insist on talking about what you want to talk about, not what they suggest. I am sure it will be helpful. (I had six sessions with a lovely social worker after Katrina who really helped me with several issues related to the hurricane.) Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on. But if you need more help, they will recognize it and you will receive it.

Please don't think I'm mean. I just recognize a woman who has had major surgery, now sporting TE's which I read are uncomfortable to say the least, going through AC+T, dealing with thoughts of mortality, and trying to keep up a hectic routine. Please take off the Supermom cape and take a nap.

XOXO, Becky

Brandi999

Becky has it right! The only thing I can add is that I have a blog that no one else reads where I vent all my frustrations. I think many of us get PTSD from this experience and have adrenal fatigue issues. You have to be able to set boundaries and state your needs so you can get through this. I hope things can get better for you soon Mommacat.

RV6gal

Mommacat4 - I can't say it any better then Sweethope did either! Absolutely get in touch with your MO tomorrow and insist on getting some assistance and/or a therapist. They sometime focus too much on the physical side and forget the toll on our emotional side. My husband is like the majority of men too. Always helps when I ask but I have to ask. I find that frustrating wondering why he can't see that I need help but that's just the way it is. Please ask your husband for help too!

Sending you a big gentle hug!

Wendy

RV6gal

Jenn - glad to hear you are on the mend and feeling better from the one week chemo break! It will be good to start Taxol as strong as you can.

Kristin - My feet are improving slowly! Thanks for thinking of me!

stillstruggling

Hi Mommacat. I know it is so hard going through all of this. Would your husband help if you asked him to? Some would and some won't. It isn't a judgment it is just who they. If he won't, is there anyone who will help out if you ask? I know it's hard to ask because who wants to inconvenience anyone else, but you have to do it. Are you children old enough to make themselves food-pb and j or anything? Are there any volunteer groups who help with things? Even though breast cancer sucks,we are lucky because bc support groups are plentiful and the people who make them up are the most giving, generous people. As far as a mental health expert, I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist who was on the cancer team at the hospital where i had my mx. I wanted a psychiatrist because he could prescribe medication. Of course, i am still waiting on the referral. My MO prescribed an anti-anxiety in the meantime. you have to focus on you It is not selfish it is necessary for your survival. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this but we are here for you! Vent anytime about anything chances are someone is going through it or has gone through it.

Beachbum1023

RV6gal, I am so glad that your feet are slowly mending, no dancing yet!

RV6gal

Ha Beachbum, nope no dancing yet! I do have a wedding to go to on May 2. I will hopefully be able to dance up a storm then..LOL