Newly diagnosed - 35 yrs old

shelleym1

Hello all,

I am 35 years old and on Dec 1st I was diagnosed with IDC. I found a lump about a month prior in the shower and went to my doctor. He sent me for mammogram and ultrasound. I could tell by the looks on their faces that it wasn't good. They sent me for a biopsy the next day. I had to wait over Thanksgiving because they were closed. I made the mistake of going online and reading my results through the patient portal. I found out I had cancer by reading the results to myself, about 5 hours before the doctor's office opened. I had no idea what I was looking at except it said "carcinoma" and I know that means cancer. On Dec 3rd I met with a surgeon at Duke, but we were still waiting for my hormone receptors to come back (they came back Friday ER+, HER-). He sent me for an MRI which determined the mass is around 2.3 cm. It is a grade 1. No other areas of concern. I have literally been paralyzed with fear since my diagnosis and am having difficulty coping. I try to go to work and function like normal but I just find myself going back to the same dark places. I try Xanax at night to help sleep but it doesn't seem to knock me out for very long. My whole body hurts from the tension. So much is up in the air and I have no idea what to expect. I meet with the oncologists on Monday and will hopefully have a treatment plan. Please tell me this gets better.

Nancy2581

it does get better honest. You are in the most difficult stage right now because you don't have all the facts. My tumor was 2.8 cm and I am grade 1 also. Keep trying with the Xanax or ask for Ativan ( it works longer). I was a mess when I was first diagnosed. You are in shock. Once you know all of the details and a treatment plan gets going you will feel better. For me I finally have reached a point of acceptance and I have calmed down a lot. My hubby even said I have de-stressed about it. I did have to do chemo, but for me it wasn't as horrible as I thought. Hang in there and big hugs to you. This group is so supportive and very knowledgable. You will get through this.

Nancy

mdg

I felt the same way when I was diagnosed 4 years ago.  The beginning is the hardest part - there is so much unknown.  It will take a few weeks to get all of the information so they can develop a treatment plan.  Look at the pathology report and understand what it all means so you can ask the right questions.  Good luck!

Obxflygirl1

this is the hard part... I'm sorry you are going through this but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You're going to a great hospital. I went to Chapel Hill from the Outer Banks. My doctor said to choose Duke or Chapel Hill and I only chose CH because it was close to my daughter. Once you have a plan, things will move quickly. Ask for depression meds or anxiety meds if you need them. The doctors want you to be as stress free as possible and they understand. Now is the time to take care of yourself. Don't be selfish. You need all the support you can get. You will find tons of info and support here. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

Moderators

Shelley-

First off, we want to welcome you to Breastcancer.org. We're so very sorry for the circumstances that bring you here, but we're very glad you've found and joined our community.

The beginning is so, so hard. You have questions but no answers yet, and there's so much uncertainty. It does get better. Once you meet with your medical team and get a treatment plan in place, you'll start to feel a little more in control of what's happening. Let us know how your appointment goes on Monday!

Also, check out our Important Links If Just Diagnosed topic, it's full of information you might find helpful right now. Keep us posted, you're in our thoughts!

The Mods

Oegoodman

I was 34 when diagnosed with stage II bc. It's like getting sucker punched. It gets better. Research your docs and make sure you have the best team that you feel great about. I am a little over a year complete. Please let me know of any questions. You will be a champion. Make sure you get all your questions answered. It is overwhelming. There are many decisions to make and those decisions are often quick. Do whatever is best for YOU. We can all tell you what we did but each of us is different. Do what you feel is best for you. It will be ok, I promise.

Wren44

It will get better. Everyone is right that having a plan will make a huge difference. In addition to medication for anxiety, many women find that exercise is their friend. Keep doing things you enjoy to help you keep your mind off it. You're going to be OK and will get thru treatment. Hugs.

windgirl

Hi,

Please don't feel so bad! I am not sure what your treatment plan will be, you may not need chemo which would be such a win given the circumstances, so while it is so hard to accept it may not be as bad as you are imagining right now.

I'm 37, diagnosed in July this summer, had to do the chemo, surgery, will continue on with herceptin until sept 2015, will have radiation and also will be on hormone pills. Pretty much the whole deal. I'm sure yours will be done much quicker due to your her status being negative. I even feel like I am more than halfway there as chemo and surgery is now behind me once i had the plan in place I am just trying to pass the day and trying to think of all the nice things I will be doing once the active treatment is over. I think that helps.

I am not sure if you have or want kids but one thing I will tell you if you do end up getting chemo is to address any fertility issues you may have before starting treatment.

Feel free to PM me anytime. There's also a thread for ladies in their 30s as the complications brought by this to our lives could be different. Take care and again please don't feel so bad. We will still live good lives, I sincerely believe that.