hi

agawriter

I am new to the group, but was diagnosed 2 years ago. Same story as many of you-- years of clean mammograms, including 1 the month before the surgeon removed an 8 cm tumor. I spent the next year going to work, collecting my children, and having treatments in the evening or weekends. I went back as early as I could from everything, and now I feel beaten. I posted elsewhere that I have gained 30 pounds that needs to go, I also haven't had sex with my husband in 2 years, thanks to dryness from tamoxifen even touching is uncomfortable. Keep getting utis, also. Sorry if this is so negative, but I feel that part of my teacher persona has been to put on a brave face, and I am tired of it.

Moderators

Hi agawriter,

We're sure others will be along soon and can relate to what you're going through.

You might find the Sex Matters Monthly Column and the Sex Matters Forum where you can chat with others going through similar sex issues.

Sending our warmest wishes and healing thoughts to you.

The mods

kar123

Hi agawriter! I understand what you are going through, The 2 year mark after diagnosis was the toughest anniversary for me. I think it's because the first one you are just happy to still be here and then at 2 years it all sinks in. Everything we've been through is traumatic and we don't really have time to think about it during the first year. It's just do, do, do! I'm also having the same problem with intimacy. The only advice I can give you for that is communication with your husband. Make sure he knows that it's not him. Keep the snuggling and hugging and kissing even if it doesn't go much further than that right now. Hang in there!

agawriter

Thanks, kar123. I am finding this to be getting harder. I feel like I have really good days , and then I push too hard and am exhausted. Thanks for the thoughts on intimacy. It would be nice to feel normal again (and not a new normal, whatever that is.)