Taking control of anxiety

Runner2014

Hi, I'm new to posting on the site, I've been reading it for a while and have found lots of reassuring and similar stories.

I was diagnosed in Feb this year, I didn't find any lump I just had a dull ache under my arm. I never go to the doctors but something just felt wrong, so I went. Surprised to discover it was grade 3, 4.5mm growth in 4 nods...... I have then have been through a masectomy, 6 chemo's, 3 weeks of rads. I've had two MRI scans to keep an eye on a cyst on my ovary and a legion on my liver, both don't seem to be worrying my doctors. But scare me. I've got my 3rd bone scan tomorrow as I have a legion on my chest bone, they seem to think it might be an old sports injury but need to keep checking it for growth/ activity.

It's been two months since radio ended so it's all very raw, I bounce between feeling ok - anxious - being scared of it coming back - overwhelmed.

Does it get better after time, some days when your in this journey it feels exhausting? I'm longing for my old life back when I worried about day to day things. I have a 3 and 8 year old to bring up and I just want someone to say I'm ok for 10 years. My doctor is positive and given me a 85% chance, the cancer stats are 60% chance in 5 years, 40% in 10 years. Everyone keeps saying I'm lucky, I've been given a green card, I'm going to be monitored for life, but it feels like I'm far from that. How do you manage your anxiety and emotions and make sure that life day by day is less scary?

70charger

Hi runner.  I have had bad anxiety for the last 2-3 weeks. So bad it was affecting my health.  Then a couple of days ago I realized I was letting cancer win.  Told myself I will not let cancer take the joy & happiness that I will get from this day.  Now I just tell myself that every morning. Take it one day at a time. Enjoy "THAT" day. If you half to, remind yourself through out the day. Keep busy. It's a mental war between you & cancer.  If you feel like you need help talk to your Doc. Don't be shy about asking. There are some wonderful happy pills out there.  Take Care my friend.

farmerlucy

Hi Runner - The anxiety is terrible. I was having near constant panic attacks for several months. I found speaking to a counselor once a week for a couple months was very helpful. It was the only place I felt safe back then. My PCP also basically ordered me to stay on an antianxiety med for year and he put me on an antidepressant also. After a year I was much better and got off the anxiety med, but I still take Effexor. During my struggle I spoke to a wise dr who said it was going to take me a year or even two years to accept the dx. Time helps a lot. As 70charger said take it a day at a time, or even an hour or minute at a time. We do learn the live with the possibility of recurrence but it takes time and it is not easy.

labelle

Xanax. Lot's of it! LOL.

Seriously, I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks all my adult life. I've been on several medications, including Paxil and buspar over the years, but hated taking pills every day and you have to take many of these medications on a daily basis for them to work.

I don't have and never have had anxiety / panic attacks on an everyday basis and have found the use of Xanax as needed, when needed (needed more lately w BC diagnosis) to be a sanity saver in my case.

Runner2014

hi,

Thank you for your comments, I think day by day living helps, also I think seeing a counciler would help. I've avoided any medication for anxiety to date but as I'm struggling daily to be positive and I think that might help.I think I'm trying to stay outwardly strong so that I stop panicking my mom, husband and everyone around me and that's wearing.

I had my 3rd 90 mins bone scan today, results Wednesday , hopefully it's good news so I can move on and start the healing process. Don't want to wish my life away! Two 3/8 year old beautiful boys in it that need a happy mom...