Housekeeping Hall of Shame #2

dancingdiva

Janet if ur still in that kitchen cleaning, get the fk out NOW!!!

OMG this thread is hysterical! I'm trying so hard not to laugh so hubby doesn't wake up but trying to clamp my mouth shut, I think something came out of my nose! That's grosser than ur dried up drool,Kathec. I don't have great tales as ur selves fortunately...unfortunately;) but I do have hair balls 3inches in diameter behind the doors.

Laughter so much needed...the dust buster, the kitchen, the mice, the pizza!!!

Tomboy

Heh heh !! i don't drool EVERY night,yuck! only if I am really really tired. from house cleaning.

MaxineO

Oh, these are ALL wonderful! I would totally feed mice in my garage... And the pizza crusts...priceless. Fortunately for me, my DH is just as relaxed a housekeeper as I am...make the bed?? Who's going in my bedroom, anyway?

Cat puke: not only do they target carpet fringe, they also target hard-to-reach places; when I had to move a bookshelf because of a water leak, I found loads of petrified cat puke coating the radiator and floor. I had to chip it away.

I am not much of a housekeeper, but perhaps what makes me laugh about myself more is that I have intentions of keeping a nice house. I bought new light fixtures for a rec room, and they sat in the shower stall (good storage) for three years before installing them. I have been cooking on a stove with a broken range light/fan for 2 1/2 years. Our front storm door has had a broken latch for 5 years. We couldn't use one of our two toilets for anything other than, ahem, liquid, for almost 10 years (we did replace that a few months ago). We could replace/repair all of these, but we are too darned lazy to make the effort. You know what they say: The road to a clean house is paved with good intentions.

lkc

wearing sun glasses in the house works for me. oh yeah, and I have given up wearing contacts too. It all helps me living in Bliss land.

SelenaWolf

When we were teenagers, my little brother was the worst slob. His room was so bad, that my mother refused to go into it. My dad used to give her grief, saying that she was "exaggerating" and that it couldn't possibly be that bad. So, she said, " ... YOU go in there and clean it then ..." So, my dad grabbed the vacuum and a dust rag and headed up.

Fifteen minutes later, down he came with his mouth hanging open. In addition to the usual teenaged mess, he found mummified chicken bones on a plate under the bed, three bowls of petrified orange peels, and two, large, plastic Coke bottles full of pee. Yes, when my brother was too lazy to get out of bed in the middle of the night, he would pee lying down into a Coke bottle. When my dad opened the closet door, an avalanche of clothing, books, shoes, games, and broken bicycle parts came tumbling down.

My dad, promptly, christened my brother's room " ... the goat farm ..." and he never ragged on my mother about it again.

Ironically, my little brother is, now, an anal retentive clean freak who took over the vacuuming in his house because his wife " ... doesn't line up the vacuum marks on the carpet properly ..." Go figure.

edwards750

That is too funny twolumps! My youngest son made a comment one time - when he was very young - about the dust on top of the cabinet and the ceiling fans. Have to admit Lawrence of Arabia couldn't get through it so my Mom says if he doesn't like it he can clean it himself....haha. I wish. I have one current and one X friend who would make any of your houses pass the white glove test. One of them in particular's house is just plain gross. Clutter would be okay but it is unsanitary and that's a whole different issue. They are afraid to open the garage for fear of the hordes of rodents who reside there. She has roof rats in her attic. Don't know how she can stand that because they sound like a herd of elephants running around her attic not to mention the damage they are probably doing to wiring, etc. I need to take my obsession down a notch but sure couldn't live like that. BTW her DH sleeps all the time and doesn't care.

Diane

Holeinone

Yikes, I am not a fan of rodents in the house, garage.....A occasional spider is ok. We have 1,000 sq. feet of unfinished basement. De cluttered recently when we listed our house. So happy, no mouse droppings... Actually vacuumed out heat vents yesterday. I thought 25 years was long enough....gross....I am painting doors & baseboards, trying to make the place look fresh & clean. It's exhausting...

Thanks for the giggles, this is a great exchange...

lbrewer

once I came home to find police cars in my driveway. The next door neighbors house had been broken into. They insisted on going into my house with me. It was such a disaster they told me I had been burglarized a well. I had to explain it looked like that when I left!

NancyD

Sorry to say this to all the non-makers of beds, but I make mine almost every day. Nothing fussy—pull the comforter up straight and throw the extra pillows on. I think a made bed overcomes other messes in the room. Somehow, it just doesn't look as bad when the bed is made.

But then there are the "other messes." Clothes worn during the last two weeks stacked on my easy chair. Not dirty enough to wash but not clean so I won't put away in the dresser drawers. A pile of my paid receipts from the past year on my dresser top that only gets reduced at tax time (or when there's a payment dispute).

But nothing compares to my brother's room. He moved in last summer after another brother threw him out of that brother's home. I knew he could be a hoarder, so I told him he could only bring his clothes and personal things like meds and shampoo. But his room has turned into a jungle.! He only sleeps on half of a queen-sized bed because the other half is covered with papers like junk mail; the floor is covered with clothing (clean mixed with soiled) and other stuff; and I've had to order him to empty his garbage cans and not eat in the room. When he can't find something, he goes out and buys new. As long as I could shut the door I could ignore it, but lately, something has been catching under the door preventing closure. Time for an intervention.

jobur

Selenawolf,

I laughed so hard at your brothers Coke bottles full of pee, I am still wiping the tears away as I write this!  Thanks to you and your beyond messy, now anal retentive brother!  (The carpet lines are also hilarious!)

flaviarose

Thanks for sharing, ladies. My recent "hall of shame" moment was when my washer didn't empty and an error message said something about the filter needing cleaning. What filter? I've had the washer for 7 years. sure enough in the manual there was a place which indicated that there was a filter that needed cleaning monthly. oops. (there was an amazing amount of dog hair in it!)

I'm not a bed maker, but I make a distinction between "making" the bed and "pulling up" the bed. Making the bed takes maybe 10 minutes - fussing, getting everything nice and neat - whereas "pulling up" the bed takes about 20 seconds and involves just pulling the covers up to the top again..... I do this because the last few years we've been having these stink bugs (big, ugly) and ladybugs getting into the house, and I don't want any to get in the bed!

Sunny_Girl

I love the title of this post - makes me smile! I'm in the same boat.

Have had a nasty viral head/chest cold sinceThanksgiving. Woke up and quickly walked to the bathroom (thank you arimidex) with one eye opened because I might have pink eye (? Crap) and was tripping on clean laundry that my husband brought in and tossed on the floor last night right before bed - Thank you, right? Funny way to start the day.