Thoughts on Pinktober

caaclark

I wrote this last year but thought it might be how some of you feel too.

 

Disclaimer-Yes, I am happy that breast cancer research is funded through the actions of others. Some companies give a lot, others don’t give as much as you would think. I am grateful to still be counted as a survivor. I am grateful that there are runs and walks in order to raise awareness. I am thankful for all my family and friends who were supportive and there for me during TYOC (The Year of Cancer). I do, however, feel the need to post this note.

 

Pinktober…through the eyes of a breast cancer survivor

Well, it’s here.The month of October.I used to love October before I became the “one” in the 1 in 8. Really, if you live in NJ it’s closer to 1 in 7. Now, some of you may be puzzled by my lack of enthusiasm for an entire month dedicated to pink products.This includes products like pink ribbons, pink pins, pink clothing, pink kitchenware, pink appliances, pink tic-tacs and, yes, even pink buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It’s time for me to let you in on a little secret. Many breast cancer survivors HATE this month and here are some reasons why:

1.  Pink is a color that seems soft and cuddly.I’m not sure how pink ended up being the “color of breast cancer” but I can tell you for certain that breast cancer is definitely not soft and cuddly. I’m not sure what the opposite of “soft and cuddly” is but whatever it is, that’s the color of breast cancer.

2.  Many survivors try to forget about breast cancer as much as we can. We can’t think about it all the time-it just doesn’t work for us. Trust me, I tried that.  Being in a heightened state of fear is, well,it sucks.  So, when it’s Pinktober and we go into a store, any store, just to pick something up, it brings us back to that scary place.  Some survivors say that when they see the massive pink displays they relive the moment of diagnosis. That’s a lot of emotion to process when you just wanted a $4.99 rotisserie chicken.

3.  When we express the fact that we hate Pinktober people will oftentimes look at us like there is something wrong with us.  Let’s put it this way…If you were in a horrible fire and narrowly escaped, or got out but with burns to part of your body, would you really want someone to be waving a lit candle around you several times a day for an entire month?

4.  There is so much pink crap sold by companies who actually give very small amounts to research.  I hesitate to type this because of course we want breast cancer research funded.  If you really want to help with that, donate money rather than buying a pink (insert name of product).  Alternatively, read the fine print to see how much money is actually going to research breast cancer.  Some companies donate a good portion of their profits to research and others, well, not so much.

5.  This is the month where I get phone calls asking me if I want to “give to breast cancer awareness”.  Really?I have to give money in order to be aware?  It’s not like I can avoid being aware of breast cancer at least twice a day (when dressing and undressing)…every day….every single day. Additionally, I think giving an actual breast (which aside from the cancer was pretty ok), along with my hair (also pretty ok most days) for about a year sort of pays the tab for me.

6.  This is also the month when people like to send survivors articles about what causes breast cancer.That fake Johns Hopkins one comes to mind.  Please don’t send us that.  It is not true and takes a blame the victim stance.

7.The slogans “Save Second Base”, “Save the Ta-Ta’s” “Save the Hooters” and “Big or Small, Save them All” completely miss the mark for many of us.  It is NOT about saving body parts.  It’s about saving lives.

Marie715

Glad I am one of the first to respond to your post. I'm not a very eloquent writer. I'll leave that to the others.  I'll just say 'Right on, caaclark!'  I"m with you 1000%. 

Warrior_Woman

Bravo Caaclark!  ***Standing Ovation!***

riverhorse

Imagine a crowd of determined women and men, all stages and no stage,  chanting "No one is cured until everyone is cured!"   

lkc

Absolutely  awesome post. captured perfectly!!

DeeMay

very well said  Caaclark!! 

katyand4

Exactly...woke up Oct. 1 and said oh yeah it is Pink October month....ugh!

nihahi

Excellent description of so many difficult emotions. It doesn't matter how recently or how long ago you were diagnosed......October still sucks!

YoungTurkNYC

Very well said Caaclark.

Yesterday, at the imaging center in my onc's office, I was handed a bag (that I "could keep" as stated by the receptionist) reminding me that I should get my mammogram.  I turned and said: "I wish I had breasts."  I am not highly offended, and took it with humor, but thought that handing out bags blazoned with a number to call to schedule your annual mammogram to a bunch of women who had to have their breasts chopped off might be slightly inappropriate.  And I love my onc dearly by the way.

Mich71

Excellent posting caaclark!    Thank you for speaking out - you hit the nail on the head.  People around me do not have a clue as to why I am a little grumpy about all the October hoopla.  And the bare chested college boy who came in the office collecting change for the cause with a pink emblem painted on his shirtless chest - wanted to beat the crap out of him but the stares of coworkers told me I was supposed to feel honored by whatever point he was trying to make.    

Nancy2581

you know pinktober used to bug me before breast cancer.  In fact I found it downright annoying.  Now it infuriates me.  When I am out running errands I typically forget about my cancer, but not now during the month of October.

Thank you for posting this it's exactly how I feel.

Nancy

208sandy

BRAVO!!!

peacestrength

Yes!! 

happyteacher

I really related to your post. Tonight I went to Kroger to pick up a few things. I am a teacher, and adore owls... and spotted an owl t-shirt that was clearly related to Pinktober. I was actually going to buy it, until I saw the slogan. I cannot even express how deeply offended I was by "save the hooters". I just stood there not believing that was actually on a t-shirt prominently displayed. The other shirt offered sported "save the racks" with a hunting motif. Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell thought that putting slang for breasts that are firmly associated with belittling women was a good idea? I have no idea who to write about this, but I am going to figure out who the assholes are that are marketing this and write in. 

Sorry to vent and the cursing. Really, I am not like that. I am just so flipping mad right now!

sbelizabeth

Happyteacher, you go, girlfriend. 

Once again, my bedazzled jock strap and its sign, "Cure the Cojones!"  would have come in handy. 

Monis

Now, we can celebrate both Pinktober (or Focktober) and Halloween at the same time! 

GAG!