is anger and paranoia a typical response

mctavish

My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I'm very concerned for her.  She had asked me for help and I have tried to respect and follow her wishes.  I tried to be careful to only help if and when she needs me.  I don't want to push myself on her.  She asked me to help her make medical calls, to be with her during surgery, to help her at home, ect... and I did everything I could.  Suddenly, she cut me off.  She's angry at some of her family members AND me.  She's accusing me of not doing this or doing that; none of which makes any sense.  I've only tried to support her wishes. Now she won't answer the phone.  I don't know what the doctors are now saying.  I'm just cut off.

All I've thought about since this happened to her is, how can I help her?  She's in my thoughts and prayers and now she HATES me.  I don't know why?  I'm afraid that I'll never know what happened to her.  I'm afraid that she may need help and is not getting it. 

It is possible that she is in stage 3 or 4.  I don't have the answer yet.  I just know that she caught it late. 

Is anger and paranoia typical?  She has ILC.  I don't know how I can help now.  To complicate thing more, her child has always liked me and wants my support. How can I do that when the mother is angry at me?

WinningSoFar

Yes, anger and paranoia are pretty normal.  If I were in your place, I'd send her a letter proclaiming your good intentions and that you hope to hear from her.  Then, I'd go on with my own life.  It's all you can do.