New Diagnosis

missdixie256

This may not be the right forum for this. I deeply apologise if it is not.

Hello,

My name is Heather. Three months ago my beloved 60 year old aunt Judy (Turtle) was diagnosed with Mets after her intial diagnosis of breast cancer in Feb of 2010. She has mets of the Pelvis, Rib Cage, and Spine. She has no involvement in her organs. For three months we have been doing injections of hormones and chemo. The cancer is not responding. We saw an Orthopedic Onc on Wednesday, after we were told she would need a hip replacement. He feels we should do 3 weeks of radiation then see if she stops hurting and see if the cancer shrinks or responds. If it does not he wants to do a hip replacement. Is this normal? Her doctor has told her that he is NOT giving up on her, they just need a new game plan.

A family friend that is an ER Doctor has suggested an in care Hospice facility. Her Onc has nowhere mentioned that she is anywhere near dying from this and has not mentioned hospice or any other kind of external care. She is still mobile and pretty much doing for herself, as she can. Should we be moving towards hospice? I read that women with Mets from BC do not live over 24 months. I am scared to death. I am her main caretaker (Aside from a mentally and verbally abusive husband) She thinks she is going to die tomorrow. I feel we are just starting her fight and she could indeed live for MANY years with this disease. Am I right?

Thank You in Advance

Heather

Holeinone

Missdixie, 

You sound like a very loving niece. No one can predict how long someone will live. Lots of ladies with bone mets live for years. Thinking about hospice right now does not sound sensible, or reasonable. 

I do not have bone mets, but radiation sounds like the next step. Getting a hip replacement is very common these days. Hopefully she will not need one, but if she does, it's doable. 

missdixie256

Thank You. I am married (2 years) and live across the state from my aunt. I currently am here  for her for 3 weeks, then back at my own home with my husband and dogs for a week only to start it over again. This sounds so selfish, but I have had to seek antidepressants and antianxiety medications because I live in a constant state  of chaos. Of course, she really doesn't know that, I would never tell her and it would absolutely kill me if she ever found out. I have always taken care of her. Surgeries, sickness, whatever it was from the time I was about 10 or 11. It is just the way it is. I would never not walk this journey with her.

Moderators

Dear Heather, your aunt Judy is lucky to have a caring person such as you beside he through this process. It makes a huge difference.

Hip replacements are quite common nowadays, as Holeinone said as they take away much of the joint pain and the person is mobilised again within the next day or so after the operation.

If you have a read on the mets areas on BCO you'll see many celebrating 5 years and more post diagnosis, so try and get a positive attitude going for both of you regarding this situation as hope can do wonders.

We wish you both the best.

The Mods

pajim

Missdixie,  it is likely way way too early to be thinking about hospice.  There are many chemotherapies to try.  There's a long list on this site.  Many women go through several until they find one that works for them.  The goal of treatment for MBC is to provide as good a quality of life as possible for as long as possible.

Radiation is usually given to kill specific mets to alleviate pain.  It'll take some months to tell if it works.

Hip replacements are a common surgery with a standard rehab.  Her docs would not be talking surgery if they didn't think it was worth it, or that she wouldn't be with you long enough to enjoy the benefits of it.

They found my mets when I broke my back (cancer ate the bone).  Onc told me I was going to live a long enough time I should go through the major surgery with four months recovery, etc., etc.  Three months in I was swearing up a blue streak.  One year after that I'm happy I did it.

Your aunt is lucky to have you.  No she is NOT going to die tomorrow.  The first few months after diagnosis are really hard -- roller coaster rides, really.  Possibly she needs some antidepressants, sleeping pills, coping medicines, etc.  Could/would she come online here to the Stage IV discussion boards?  There's a lot of help and encouragement there.

missdixie256

Her doctors have not told her that there is no cure for mets. I think that is what bothers me so much.  She is expecting to go into complete remission and although I believe God can heal her, I work with a nurse practitioner and I see the what if reality. 

Her doctors keep telling us she doesn't need chemo. I am trying to get her to MD Anderson in Houston. I feel that they are her best chance of a long and healthy survival. 

I love my aunt and I came across the state to start radiation with her. Her mood and Outlook change dramatically when I am here. she eats more and has much much less pain. She takes a .5 valium but nobody will address her depression. 

You ladies are wonderful.  Thank you for allowing me to post here and get advice and comfort.