HELP! How did Chemo kill your libido? How did you Recover?

JenF

Hello everyone. I'm currently working on a new class that I'm working on with Cancer Services of NE Indiana, and my workplace, Boudoir Noir's School of Loving Arts. We are an adult retail store, that also has a class room. We provide adult education on all topics intimate or sexually related, and thought it was about time to get in some classes for cancer survivors, chemo patients, and their families. Our class will cover all sorts of things from how to reconnect with the your "new" self, your partner, a myriad of ways to achieve pleasure without focusing on orgasm, and lots of toys and enhancers that can help with the side effects from these heavy meds.

My question for you: was there a specific toy, thing, lube, or item that helped you through the rough spots? Something specific that helped bring you and your partner closer together? Any answers you give are anonymous. I just wanted to reach out to make sure that I am covering everything I should be, as well.

Thanks ahead of time, and please feel free to check us out on our websites to verify we are who we are. Cancer Services also has this class listed upcoming on their September 2014 schedule. Please don't hesitate to ask further questions!!

Thank you, cancer warriors.

Moderators

Hi JenF, 

We have a number of topics that have been discussing this for hers. It may be most helpful for you to dive into these topics first, though you may hear some responses to this very sensitive issue. 

Please use our Search function and type in keywords, including "mojo". 

Good luck, 

The Mods

JenF

Thank you for the point to past posts! I did read through a few of the ladies' stories...and wished I could comment on LOTS of them with suggestions. We're finding, in our area, even our OB's/GYNOs, even the cancer docs, don't know what all to try or suggest with vaginal dryness. They're not sure what to tell the men who have ED, or their embarrassed wives who ask. Reading through the past posts just reaffirms that I want to make sure this class is fabulous, and full of information! Not limited to more prescriptions for dryness, but safe and natural alternatives (OTHER than coconut oil). You're right, sex and intimacy are always on the back burner for conversation topics, which doesn't help make these things any easier to talk about. We're trying hard to fix that in our area, and help those we can.

*I'll also say that I have not personally had cancer, but have lost numerous family members to it. I have taken chemotherapy numerous times for my severe autoimmune issues, so do know of the side effects from that medicine. Cytoxan was my nemesis.

RaiderGirl

The hope is always that a women will eventually recover from chemo and radiation.

 The hope is that she will find ways to accept the altered body.

 The hope is that recovery and acceptance will ease the depression that comes from this disease

The sexual issue with most BC patients is not always chemo, rads and surgery . it's  the life preserving medications like AI and Tam that kill  estrogen which is the female feel-good hormone . These meds are taken for 5 years or longer. That's a long time.

Physicians respond to the sexual issues with BC as if we were rusty locks that need WD40 so the key will fit in and turn. The cause is a side effect of the Rx,  lack of desire , pain and anorgasm. Until they come up with a real way to address the cause this is a difficult battle to win.

I do applaud you for wanting to help in this very sensitive issue but be careful that women don't end up feeling less worthy because lubes, toys, lingerie and technique doesn't improve their sexuality.

If I go down I will go down fighting.

I own stock on AA batteries (wink)