Changed my mind about chemo, am not getting it

marjac329

I have posted previously about if I should pursue chemo or not. I appreciated the responses I got and I was able to identify with one of the respondees since we both had very small tumors. I want to update the TNC community with my decision and I am not taking chemo. My oncologist and hospital panel thought I didnt need it. I got a second opinion at Dana Farber and the oncologist there said that with my small tumor that it still is a grey area about whether to take chemo or not. He was on a panel of doctors that published a 2014 study saying that women in my situation do well without chemo. I went for a followup with my first onc and she agreed it is a grey area. Both docs said they would take it if it was them, even though one definitely said I didnt need it. BTW, I did go through radiation.

I made an appointment to start chemo as it seemed like I should. I went for the pre treatment appointment. As the time grew nearer to the first treatment appointment, I started doubting my decision. I learned that one of the meds I would take, cytoxen, could cause leukemia and bone marrow cancer. I was told the chances were one in ten thousand by a NP. This scared the hell out of me, but still I vacillated between should I? or shouldn't I? I actually stayed home from work and used every resource I had available to help me come to a final decision. My mind was so torn that I felt as if I was going to go crazy from the stress. Finally, the answer came to me and brought me peace. I decided to go with my oncologis'ts original opinion. I thought if I don't need it then why do it? I don't know if it is the best decision but it is one I can live with. And something that surprised me is that the docs saying they would take chemo themselves in my situation didn't even influence my decision, whereas earlier it held such weight. 

My stats are that I am 60 years old and had a 4mm TNC invasive tumor that was removed via a lumpectomy with resulting clean margins No lymphnode involvement. .Sixteen radiation treatments.

belleb

If you have found peace through your decision, that's more than half the battle right there! It's so easy to beat ourselves up about whether we are making the right choices, but at the end of the day, it's YOUR body and you did your research, and only you know what the right answer is for you. I wish you all the best!

marjac329

Thank you. I do think that I would take chemo if the doc had recommended it. I trust that they know the best way of fighting the disease. It's when you can go either way that its sooooo tough to know what to do.