plz help I need answers

livelife79

plz help I need answers

livelife79

My sister 32 yrs has had a reacurrence of breast cancer this time 6 yrs later it is a stage 4 . Tumor is around heart has spread to 7 lypnodes doc is tellin her its inoperable.  Does any one kno wht will hsppen im so scared for her . We go tom to have biopsy open heart surgery to find out how aggressive the cancer is she is high risk and also will find out how long she has if chemo is an option do u think she should do it . Supposly it will jus by her more time . My sis is very angry will not talk with no one about it shs has alot of support and love and prayers she is rejecting it all . Why ? Plz if anyone knows anythibg tht maybe I can tell her so we can have hope cause at this point we have no hope.  Thank you and god bless.

tangandchris

lovelife-I'm very sorry for you and your sister...your whole family. She is angry and likely going thru stages of grief. I don't know enough about stage IV dx to give you alot of smart advice. I just wanted to tell you that you being there for her is a wonderful thing. Try not to push her too much about talking about what is happening just what. Did you say that she is 32 years old?

I know there will be others to post with smarter advice. Sometimes it is slow on the weekends here ((hugs))

farmerlucy

I'm so sorry for the devastating news. She needs you now more than ever, so when she is ready to talk I'm glad she has you. You might also want to post here https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topic/...

for stage IV questions or here

 https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/144

for stage IV family members and caregivers.

I don't know why life has to be so hard. My heart breaks for your sister, you, and the rest of your family. 

Mayanne

Hello, I'm so sorry for your sister's diagnosis.  I can tell that your heart is breaking.  My own sister had her recurrence about 2 1/2 years ago (after 13 years), and it was also the stage of your sister's.  She refuses to name stages - just one of her ways of coping.  

In my sister's case, it's not affecting her heart - it's spine, hip, (I forget where else).  But she definitely has hope and a good attitude.  She takes an anti-depressant which also helps her cope.  She takes meds each day to suppress hormones, has a shot each month, and a blood test to check cancer markers.  She gets out with friends, especially a couple of lonely elderly women friends, takes care of her grandchildren, and does mind boggling beautiful cross stitch pictures (despite the fact that she is legally blind in one eye and has had surgery for Carpel Tunnel).  I have at least 12 of these that she gives me each birthday and Christmas.  And I'm sure that each of her children and grandchildren have many, also.

So far, the numbers and tests have been good, although she says that at some point this particular hormone med will stop working and they'll have to try another.  (BTW she had to go on Medicaid to be get treatment and Medicaid is trying to opt out of paying longer - says they feel 12 months has provided optimum benefit.  Her Oncologist is advocating for her, because he believes that it will help her survival to continue on it.).  

My sister did not have chemo - just the hormonal meds and treatments.  I think the best thing to do is to make sure she has a doctor who will explain the course of treatment that he or she feels is best for your sister's particular condition.  And it's also important to feel that the doctor really cares and that your sister has faith in his ability to do his medical best.  She is so fortunate to have you for a sister. You and your sister could also read the Success Story thread on this board.

juneping

livelife - i am so sorry to read your post. i can understand how angry your sister must be....i would be too. she's done everything and now it came back. 

may be spend a weekend with her just like normal days, brunch, shopping and no talk about C. i am really sorry...

dlm425

there is alway hope 

Ruthgrace

Pray for healing. God can heal her. He is bigger than cancer. Nothing to lose. ........just pray.

edwards750

I am so very sorry for your sister and you and the family. It's hard to comprehend why this happens and to someone so young. Don't know much about chemo- lots of ladies on this forum do and they can best describe how it affected them. Sometimes the supposed cure is worse than the disease. All you can do us be there for her and trust me that's a lot. 

I do believe in prayer. Not a zealot by any means but please don't give up. It's in God's hands so reach out to Him to get you through this. When I experienced 2 tragedies within months of each other I told my priest not to tell me God doesn't give you more than you can handle and he said who do you think got you through it...

Diane