Mother newly diagnosed. What questions to ask?

bassadict69

A 3cm lump was found in my mothers breast and a biopsy was done last week. The doctor called her today and told her it in fact was cancer but did not elaborate other than making her an appt for tomorrow to discuss a mastectomy or lumpectomy or radiation, etc (his words). He did not stage it or give her a type over the phone and said it would all be discussed tomorrow. My mother used to work for this doctor so she knows the terminology so we are wondering if maybe that is why he did not elaborate. My wife and I are both nurses but have no experience with cancer and from the phone call, we are both worried. 3 cm seems awful large to us...

What questions do we need to ask at tomorrows appt when we go with her? We do know we are going to insist on a CT or something to make sure it is only in the breast and has not metastasized. 

Moderators

Welcome to the BCO Forum. Very sorry about your mother but there is a wealth of reading sources on here to increase your knowledge and members will assist as much as they can without a Dx. Your mother is very lucky to have you to assist her through this frightening process.

You are posting in the right area and members will respond with suggestions. A second set of ears and a notepad are fantastic to have in any meetings with Doctors as when cancer is discussed, details and terminology are easily missed.

Keep in touch.

The Moderators

incognitomom

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's news. There is a checklist of questions I found when googling today: http://ww5.komen.org/uploadedFiles/Content_Binaries/whendiagnosed(1).pdf

Kudra

you will definitely want to find out her ER/PR/ HER2 status. She probably knows all this but many breast cancers are fed by estrogen. When they determine her estrogen/ progesterone status then it's possible to shrink the tumor with anti hormonal meds before any surgery. 

I'm sure he'll go over all this with her but get as much info about her cancer as you can before doing anything.

Remember, there is no huge rush. You have time to gather info and digest it. Also, she is in charge. Doctors can guide and inform her but all decisions are hers to make.

Much love to you all

Kicks

The first thing I think, she(you) needs to find out is the type (DCIS/IDC/ILC/IBC) of BC she's dealing with, as the prognosis andTX plans can be very diverse, thus when asking, questions can be kept to what is pertinant.  Did she list you as one who can call and get info from the facility?  If she did, as you have medical education, you might want to call today and talk with the Dr's RN/PA so you can be better prepared (with appropriate questions in her situtation) for tomorrow.  With all my Drs, I have both my Hubby and Son listed so they can legally call and get any answers if I can't explain to them so they understand what it is going on with me - they never have but it's available to them if they feel they need/want to.

Suggestion - take a tape recorder/your smart phone and record what the Dr says so you can review it at a later time.  Even with your medical knowledge, this is your Mother and it is a lot harder to be  as objective with what you hear when dealing with a loved one than with others.  A note pad is also a good idea - while Dr is talking a question comes to mind that does need to be asked but stopping and addressing at that moment might not be the best idea but better shortly.  Also have the questions you have already come up with writtem down so not forgotten.

There will undoubtably be scans and tests done before any TX is started or decided.  In my case, I had bone, CAT, MRI, PET scans and EKG (some will get MUGA)  The PET 'lit up' a spot along lower jaw so it was biopsied - nothing there.  All these were within the 17 days betwen DX and starti ng neoadjuvant chemo.  There are other tests that some Drs may want with some (oncotype, genetic, etc.) but mine didn't.  We are all different at time of DX, our DX is different and our Drs are different.w

bassadict69

The ER where I work was totally slammed yesterday so I was unable to make the appt with her, however my wife and daughter (both nurses) both went with her. Mom decided to have a full mastectomy next Friday without reconstruction. The doctor told her it was a quick one hour surgery and she should be back on her feet the next day and probably go home the next day also.

The only thing the doc called it was an Invasive Mammary Carcinoma and said he would know more once it was removed. He said chances are that she would not require radiation or chemo after removing the full breast unless he got in and found it had further spread into her nodes.