One Short Question About Support ... Please respond

Anonymous

One Short Question About Support ... Please respond

Anonymous

Are you totally devoid of emotional support post tx and for how long?

Me: just my dog and bird, 5 years,

Anonymous

I have emotional support post 4 years, mostly from my husband.  He totally gets it.  My adult kids, have moved on from the "mom has cancer" fear and topic of conversation, and all the caring support.  I guess they just don't want to think that it could return any time.  I'm stage IIIa. So, blueplace, for me it's my husband and 3 dogs and 2 birds

Anonymous

Lucky you to have a husband and family that is helpful. I'm trying to find someone like me.

I had the triple negative...no emotional support...no financial support...docs that couldn't deal with my not being a round peg.

I know there are others out there like me. Trying to find even one. I just want to work PT again, then so much of what drains me will end.

I had my two beautiful cats and a dog through most of it. When they were out of my life and i was living with mom is when i went down the dark, dark road.

Thanks for sharing.

 

Moderators

Your dog and your bird are great to talk with as dogs will just listen to you express your fears and emotions, but seem to understand when you need comfort. Pets don't judge you in any way but rely on you for attention, love, affection, and even their lives. As you've already found, there are others here to talk with, through BCO too. All our best.

The Mods

farmerlucy

Pets do help a lot. After my diagnosis I looked around to see what I could do to "help" in the world- sort of a "pay it forward" thing. Since then we keep the max dogs allowed in our city as fosters and or adoptees. I also was able to get some barn kitties from the humane society and a rescue donkey. I tell my husband it is just something we can do. I also trained to be a Care Lay Leader at our church. Primarily I had hoped to support other BC ladies, but there are needs elsewhere, so I'm doing quite a few hospital visitations and followup calls. It feels good to help. I also work at our church's food pantry. Spending an afternoon handing out groceries to folks who need the very basic necessities is very sobering, and I always feel grateful afterward. I have met some amazing people in my journey. Just yesterday I was able to talk to my one time Stephen Minister, who was there for me when I was in the pit. She was the very person who told me how selfish I'd be to do something to myself. She was the one who encouraged me for months. I may have mentioned the SM program in another post Blue Palace, but if not, it might be a good fit for you. Many churches offer the program. They are free and available to anyone. Let me know if you'd like more information. Take care. 

Anonymous

There is a reason why dog is God spelled backward. I have been around dogs of my own my whole life. Also, service and working dogs.

The US is so backwards. In the EU, you can take your dog to a first-class restaurant, on the train, to a hotel, to the mall, etc. People train their dogs and are responsible pet owners. The give back is unmeasurable. Medical and psych research has proven this for years. When is the US going to wake up?

BTW, I moved to and lived in OK for 6 months 30 years ago this month.

Cowgirl13

blue, one thing that really helped me was to find the right antidepresant(s).  I was hit pretty hard with the treatment--chemo, herceptin for a year, rads, and arimidex for the last 4-l/2 years.  I'm 5 years out now and I am happy with my life.  I was in a cancer support group which really helped.  I hope you are able to have animals back in your life.  Its made a big difference for me although my darling kitty crossed the Rainbow Bridge a fews days ago.  If I get another cat, I'll go to the SPCA and try to find an older cat--8 or 9 years or older (I love older animals)  or a cat whose owner died.  That's what will help my grief.

edwards750

No blue palace most restaurants in the US don't allow pets but there are a number of them now who have specific days just for your pets. We have motels/hotels for animals that rival some really nice "people" hotels. Pet owners in the US spend billions- yes billions on their pets and for the record I am a HUGE dog lover. I have been around them my whole life too. Maybe they can't go to a 5-star restaurant that I know of but they are loved and cared for just the same and the majority are responsible pet owners. 

Diane 

Nancy2581

I'm glad you have your dog and your bird.  I have 2 dogs and 3 birds (they're kind of annoying though LOL the birds, not the dogs).  Do you go on walks with your dog.  I take my two every day twice a day and it really helps my mental state.  I actually forget about this dreadful cancer while on walks.

Nancy

Anonymous

I do take Shai out for walks, or tie him out. I like to go at night when it's quiet and non pet people that have nothing better to do all day are asleep and can't complain to the office about imagined problems.

I miss having a cat around. Hopefully, after I move, I will get one. Have been waiting for Shai to chill; he's an older puppy. I have a 500 sq. ft. studio.

Anonymous

You last few words is the reason why we cannot enjoy our pets to the fullest.

Irresponsible dog owners or those that know nothing about training a dog to live within societies rules. Those that get 'protective' dogs are the worst. Can't handle them. Don't take them for veterinary care, feed them right, treat them well.

In the EU, people do. That is why they are integrated into everyday life. Also, they follow the rules of society. That is why it is  possible to drive 100 mph on the Autobahn.

Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. I understand how they are parts of our lives. Just because they are not human, doesn't mean they are less. For many, they are better than our 'families'.

I have always had purebred dogs, but my cats are just cats. I like Siamese mixes because they are so much like dogs, and have other cute behavior patterns.

I finally was able to find a good psych after 4 years with no meds review. I'm up to almost the highest dose of Zoloft. Mental illnesses of all kinds runs in both sides of my family. Then, there is being subjected to bad behaviours. I have bi-polar depression and have been on meds my entire adult life. It's a combo of medical issues and environmental.The anxiety, insomnia and PTSD started a few years before cancer. That was the icing on the cake. My psych and counselor at the time thought the dx would make me crack, but I'm strong.

Anonymous

Lucy,

Not only did my parents rob me of my childhood, but they also took away my being able to connect to religion. There are political sides to organized religion that are like what I grew up with. My parents' constant arguing about religion, and not knowing what it was like to worship in a church added to it.

I believe in God and that he is everywhere. I feel closest to God when I am out in nature or gardening.

I'd be one of the people you hand food to, but I have no reliable way to get there. The Paratransit in DE is the pitts.

farmerlucy

I'm sorry you've had such a rough go of things in your life. You must be quite strong to be here now. My religion is a little hit and miss sometimes and I certainly have doubts, but over all my life is richer and more meaningful because of it.