The Biggest Challenge is here now... waiting for the details.

Kalina

Aloha newest friends, 

I am 59 years old and it was the 7th of June that I discovered the lump, the 13th that I had the mammogram and UT, and the 18th that I received the dx of IDC.  My lump presently measures 2.8 cm and a lumpectomy is scheduled for July 1. I have already learned such an amazing amount based on my own sleuthing (and, of course reading this board has been monumental in my understanding).  So thank you all for the sharing and the outpouring from your hearts for what can only be described as one of the, if not the most terrifying journey any individual can take.  I'm still waiting on the slides to check the receptors, etc., however I am taking it one step at a time, even though my mind continues to speed into the danger zone. I put on the brakes knowing that the feelings - which are absolutely required and necessary - are not the facts. It's because of this board that I took the initiative to inform my surgeon of feelings of dread and in turn requested a sleep aid, which was immediately prescribed.

My last mammogram was 7/23/13 and was totally clean.  I was happy that I had had the mammograms I've had because it was able to provide a good basis of comparison.  What's ironic is that my Dad, who lives with us, had colon cancer almost 20 years ago, and is now 101.  I've been very busy with my head up my a#% (colonoscopys, etc.) as opposed to my breasts. It's forced me to change my priorities very quickly.

The thing most challenging is keeping my mind calm and happily busy. We have no answers presently. We are grateful that there was presently no abnormal findings regarding my nodes, however the sentinel will be biopsied on the 1st. I will keep open that the finding will show no involvement. Oh, the 'we' is my wonderful husband. It was merely 1 year and a few weeks ago that he had a major heart attack and a triple bypass. We made it through that and we have plans for making it through this.

I'm looking forward to what everyone has to say.  Thank you all again.

Kalina

edwards750

Kalina - wow you have been through it. Your dad is 101 - pretty amazing and your DH survived a major heart attack and a triple bypass. You have a family of survivors and you are one of them. Definitely keep as busy as you can. All of us may be in different stages of BC in our lives but we all agree the waiting is the pits.

I had a lumpectomy followed by 33 radiation treatments. Neither the surgery nor the treatments were a problem for me. I am currently 3 1/2 years out.

Keep the faith and keep us posted.

Diane

Ariom

kalina, what a great post! You have summed it up well. W all understand how brutal the waiting is. I describe it like being at the top of the rise on a Roller Coaster, just waiting for that drop!

The truth is, once you know what the plan is and the final Dx has come, most here agree that it gets much easier than the first part.

You have had a tough time with your Husband and his surgery, but having him will mean the load is shared. I don't know what I'd have done without my wonderful Husband. He is a quadriplegic from a hang gliding accident when he was 20 and he was eager to do anything he could for me. 

I wish you all the very best and look forward to hearing how you're doing. Ask anything here and come here often for support, it's a great waiting room, with many women who understand just what you're going through and are wanting to help.

Nancy2581

Hi Kalina,

Your story sounds similar to mine.  My doctor found a "thickening" on May 16th.  I had to wait 3 weeks for mammogram and ultrasound which kind of ticked me off.  Went in and the radiologist/dr flat out said she thought it was cancer.  She said there was no indication from ultrasound of any lymph node involvement.  Four days later I had the biopsy and two days later found out I have IDC, grade 1.  The following Monday I found out I am ER+/PG+ and HER2 -.  That's all I know.  I am having a lumpectomy on Tuesday and hope I get the final picture shortly after that.  I too, was faithful with my mammograms/annuals every year.  My last mammo was also In July 2013 (before this one).  The doctors I have seen so far said there was no indication last year of anything abnormal then.  The waiting to know the final picture is the hardest.  I've had a tough time with it and had my family practitioner give me Xanax.  

My brother had quadruple by pass surgery in March of this year.  It's been a crappy year to say the least for my family.  I hope you get some more answers soon and may they all be encouraging.  Hang tight with me.

Nancy

Kalina

Hi Diane, Ariom and Nancy, 

Thank you so very much for your responses.  Cheers to all of us for keeping some semblance of order in this chaos. I am already meeting people that are survivors. It is definitely not a club I planned to join, however in the women I've already met face to face - well there is an immediate understanding and kinship that escapes words. I happen to have met a lovely woman yesterday, who just 'happened' to be wearing a pink rhinestone ribbon on a chain. Before I could stop myself I blurted out that I had been diagnosed on Wednesday. She also was an IDC girl. The point being is there was an instant understanding and recognition that took place. I feel that this is one of the things that is giving me hope. That others are definitely surviving. That no matter what news comes, that there's hope. Meanwhile I'm putting together my 'healing' team and found a wonderful massage person that is willing to come on board. I also have "Healing Touch" practitioner's available, which I'm going to be using as well. Am I terrified?  You bet.  But it is true, each bit of information takes me closer to my treatment plan, which is much easier than dealing with the unknown.

And Nancy, I am hanging so tight with you, I dare say I've lost circulation in my hand.  I am with you! 

Kalina

Rufhewn

Just joining after being diagnosed on Friday, June.  Needless to say, it's been a horrible weekend in spite of so much love and support from family and friends.  Today started out a bit better until I happened to notice a small enlargement on my neck.  Sent me into a major whirlwind.  Anxious to get appointments going.  They gave me the pathology report and sent me home to interpret some very frightening stuff.  Worst weekend of my life.  I am 58, hadn't had a mammogram in years.  Feeling great but went in for a very late routine mammogram when it all started to unfold.  Glad this forum is here.  

Rufhewn

Hi Kalina, we are starting is journey very close together having just been diagnosed June 20th.  A am almost 59 in August.  Glad you had a recent mammogram which should bode well for your lymph node involvement.  I let mine go a long time seriously regret it.   My tumor is very small (under 1 cm)  but I have some enlarged nodes that have been that way for awhile.  Haven't talked to any doctors yet but need to soon as the anxiety is killing me.  Like you, have a wonderful husband and support system.  Oh, and I am HER2 positive which adds tremendously to my anxiety.  Hanging barely. Pam

vbishop

So many diagnosed so close together.  My heart cries every time I hear of another woman having to go through this.  And you are right - the first few weeks are killer:  one doctor appt. after another, test after test after test, then the treatment plan.  It will get better, I promise.  But I also remember all too clearly the whirlwind that was the first few weeks of my diagnosis.

I have a few pieces of advice, much of which still helps me to this day:

1.  When you can, take someone with you to early appointments.  Most women are still reeling from being diagnosed and don't hear half of what is said.  If you can't take someone with you, then try to record it.  You will be glad you did.

2.  Stay away from Dr. Google as much as possible.  Too much outdated information or just general stuff that some think may apply to them, hence amping up the fear factor.  That is never productive.

3.  Go with what you know.  Focus on the facts and don't try to read any more into anything than what is real.  This will keep you from having unnecessary pity parties.  Will you have them?  Yes, but you can minimize them or stop them in their tracks.  Remember, you can't get on the train until it arrives at the platform.

Glad you found BCO!  Hugs and prayers to each of you.  Let us know how we can help!

Holeinone

Kalina & Rufhewn, 

Sorry you find yourself on this website....I had the yearly mammo but that does not always protect us. I was dx almost one year ago, with stage 3 lobular breast cancer. 

My dx & treatment has been a roller coaster....nightmare.... But, most ladies are dx with earlier stages, and do not always need chemo. One day at a time, if you need help, with anxiety, ask for meds, I did not until after chemo & 1/2 way through radiation. Keep posting, it helps to be able to communicate with ladies that totally understand, & get it.....

VioletKali

I too am in the "Hurry up and wait" mode. I saw my surgeon yesterday, and he wants to wait to make any decisions until we know if I am BRCA mutation +. I am 31, for reference. I DID catch it early, but it is grade 3 and triple positive. I am informed that this means it is fairly aggressive.

He is referring me to an Oncologist(med) today, and ordering an MRI.

Kalina

Hello all, 

Just learned yesterday that I am ER+/PR+ which I consider to be good news.  My lumpectomy is 6 days away. I'm anxious about the sentinel node biopsy, but in all honesty, who wouldn't be?  This is such a journey, but we are getting closer to the whole picture. Thanks to all of you for your participation on these boards. It really has helped in my understanding.

Kalina

Nancy2581

Hi Kalina,

I had my lumpectomy yesterday and sentinel lymph node biopsy.  It wasn't bad and I feel fine today - just a little sore.  They only took out one lymph node and I have no idea what that means.  I will say this - now that that nasty alien is out I am a lot calmer.  I know Tuesday won't come soon enough for you (me either as I will be getting the full pathology report back).  My doctors have said that ER+/PG+ is a good thing.  I'm counting down the days with you.

Nancy

Kalina

Thanks for your input Nancy. I am very excited about getting the nasty little thing out of my chest. I'm glad we are already moving along on this road. I'm keeping my  fingers crossed that your node is clear. That would be fabulous. I'm so very tired today. Actually, I've been tired for quite some time. Little did I know..... One more thing. Did you need to get a special bra?

Kalina

Nancy2581

They gave me one when I had surgery.  It's actually kind of comfy LOL.  It zips in the front and has velcro straps to adjust. You can ask if they provide one for you.  If not, I also went and bought a couple of sports bras that zip in the front.  They are comfy too.  I got mine off of Amazon, but my neighbor said Victoria Secret has one.  Ba ha ha.  I thought that was funny.  You know I was extremely tired (still am) after I got diagnosed.  I think your mind just goes 100mph and all the mental stimulation just drains you.  Not to mention I couldn't sleep - my mind wouldn't slow down.  I asked my doctor for Xanax which I only take at night.  Boy, does it help.  My oncologist says they prescribe it all the time for cancer patients.  

Nancy

Straitlover

MTM2004, how did it go? Hope the news is not too bad.

I'm a newbie, too. Just diagnosed 6/17-18 (BS called me evening of 6/17 to tell me, went to his office 6/18 for "official" news I guess). Waiting on MyRisk panel results to decide how to proceed. All I know for sure is I have a rare kind (adenosquamous carcinoma, hoping for low grade instead of high!!!). MO says if it is small enough I may not have to have chemo. My sister was diagnosed back in September 2013 (IDC, Stage 1A barely); she had lumpectomy and radiation and is fine.

pianochick

Hi, everyone (especially all of you who have just been diagnosed this month! ):

I'm 48 years old and found a lump on June 26th.  I was scheduled to leave town for five weeks on the weekend, but went in for mammogram the next day and had a lovely, on-the-ball radiologist who immediately ordered an ultrasound and biopsy that afternoon, despite it being Friday at 4pm.  The following Monday I got the call--but I'm still waiting on the full pathology.  So far I know that it's a mucinous colloid carcinoma, relatively small.  From what I understand, this diagnosis  should give me hope, and I'm really clinging to that.  But, I deeply relate to all of you who speak about the anxiety and the fatigue of waiting!  I'm scheduled for surgical consult and MRI next Wednesday, and will be flying home for that.  I have a wonderful family of siblings, husband and sister-friends for which I'm super grateful.  But, I have found solace already in reading the posts from members on this board.  I do feel that I'm somehow in an energy bubble that is separating me fully from everyone around me at the moment, which I guess is the essence of anxiety....and I think that only you who have gone through this experience are really inside that bubble, too.

Thank you for all the information, and all the honest and wonderful posts! 

Kalina

Aloha Sisters, 

I finally received my results today on my lumpectomy. 10 days was a very, very long time to wait.  Margins clear, however 1 out of 4 nodes tested positive.  Consult with Oncologist scheduled for July 23rd. Trying to move to an earlier appointment for next week.  However, now another battery of tests await.  I am presently being staged at T2N1, still missing the "M", but am still classified as early breast cancer, and for that I'm really grateful.  I can only send out my sincerest hope and wishes to everyone to getting through the beginning of the battle, which certainly appears to be the most trying.  After talking to some friends, I'm realizing that treatment is like the composition of a great symphony. You have to have the most talented artists (our health community) who are skilled at understanding the depth of the music (the cancer), the nuances of the notes (the treatments), and that in turn will aid in the production of your own personal 'healing' concerto. I hope I find mine soon. 

Kalina

Stenokim

great advice from bishop!  My node biopsy was done during MX surgery.  Kind of disappointed that my surgeon tested the sentinel, found the cancer had spread there, then proceeded to remove 11 more, all which were clean. That was good that 11 were clean, but wish she would have started at 2 or 3 instead of 11.  I'm six months out and I think the majority of my pains, numbness, nerve zingers are from the node dissection v. Mastectomy.  Good luck to you all.  It will get easier once you have the dx.  I was planning my funeral until I got the full dx.  Lol. Not literally planning it but in my head I was going through it.  I'm six months out and I've moved on.  I look at it as they removed it, it's gone and I'm going on and enjoying life!  Kim

Nancy2581

I'm right there with you Kalina.  Thinking of you.

Nancy