Scared and feeling alone

Nimm

I was just diagnosed last Thursday. I don't have words to describe how I feel. My son graduated saturday and I sat there and wondered if I would be alive to see my other two boys graduate. 

 I'm starting to feel angry....I look in the mirror and think I look so healthy and "normal" yet I'm not...and wonder how many women are going through this it could be the lady next door or the young pretty wife across the street or the lady at the grocery store... 

I'm only 38. Not to mention have been separated for six months, and my father is battling stage 4 colon cancer. 

I have oncologist appointment on the 27th and surgeon after that...does it typically take a week to see oncologist? Wondering if it is going to take another week for surgeon?? 

Cowgirl13

Nimm, parts of this journey are incredibly painful (emotionally), especially at first.  I had no idea how I could deal with it but we do find a way.  It's wonderful that you have posted here--you will find so much support and you will not feel alone here.

When I was first diagnosed, it took about a week to get into see a breast surgeon and I had surgery about 10 days later.  It was only after surgery that I met with my oncologist.  I can definitely see a benefit to seeing an oncologist first, but that's no how I did it.  The best advise I can give you is to be sure you like and feel comfortable with your surgeon and onc.  It's very important that you feel good about them....I changed onc's because of that and was so glad I did. 

Others will post here shortly.  Please know you are not alone.

Liz

Nimm

thank you Liz ...I hope things start looking better I don't think I can take anymore bad news...although I am surprised at how calm I've been so far. I do hang on to hope and faith and am strongly stubborn! Hope the stubbornness works out for me..in this journey I am just beginning. I am glad I found this place reading about everyone's journey gives me hope for the future. Best wishes to you and all on here...May God bless everyone...

too_young_momof2

I know how you feel.. the first time I went through this I couldn't believe I had to "wait" for appointments "I had cancer, why are they not doing anything"  however it turned out they were putting a plan together for me before I even saw them, I had chemo prior to surgery-  another hard thing to wrap my head around... but again they had done this before I had not. 

When I was diagnosed at age 26 my son was 11, I promised him I would see him graduate. Last year his graduation was so emotional for me, my son I had at 15 and who had his only parent get cancer did it, I did it we shared the experience together!!!

Now my next goal : my daughter is now 11 and I can't wait to have that amazing feeling of accomplishment again. Keep those goals in your mind they give us our fight!!!

(((HUGS)))

Michelle

tangandchris

I was 39 at dx.....it took about a month between dx and surgery. There was alot of hurry up and wait going on and yes it is very frustrating. ((hugs))

Maybe you could sit down and think of all the questions you have and write them down for your appointment. This made me feel like I had some control over what was happening, when everything around me felt VERY out of control. Don't be afraid to take the list with you, the doctor shouldn't have a problem with that and if they do...well I'd say move on.

All of this is soooo hard to accept and it comes in stages. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but please come back to BCO. This place is wonderful.

Take care

Camillia

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. It does get better. It takes time and it will be a journey, but it will get better. I was diagnosed at 37, I have 3 young children so I can relate to how you feel. Almost 2 years later, I am stronger and healthy. Someone once told me that I would get to a new better place, a "new normal" and it did happen. I feel good again and I no longer live in constant fear. You will have lows and highs... at fist the lows will take most of the room and slowly, the highs will last longer until one day you suddenly realize that you have not thought about cancer or fear in days :-) Sending you a hug.