Help! Ive lost my humor!

ChaosRains

if found, please return asap... 

I knew i was going to have good days and bad days and have been proud of myself for how ive managed to stay my joking self through all this so far 

Well... last night i had terrible nightmares and then tossed and turned all night and today i woke up all emotional  

having a very rough day and its only 9am. I couldnt begin to list all the things that have made me tear up this morning... 

Seriously! I was about to cry because i put a little too much creamer in my coffee for goodness sakes!! 

I think hubby couldnt get out of the house and off to work fast enough... poor man 

Feeling like this just feels so not like me... i want it to go away... 

Nettie1964

All that sounds completely normal to me!  I'm almost a year out of treatment and I still have those moments, hours, days!!  Give yourself time to adapt!!

 

bluepearl

Let yourself go through this.....you will come out of it fine.....believe me.....but try not to do this alone. There's nothing like warm hugs when you cry. If it becomes too difficult, seek help. There are meds that can help you pull through...I had ativan, and it made a HUGE difference. This is a journey no one wants to go through, but remember, you are not alone. Perhaps call a breast cancer support group in your area. Take care (((HUGS))))

vbishop

Chaos -

This is serious indeed.  I love your humor!!  But, I agree with the others.  Sometimes this crap just hits and there isn't a lot you can do about it.  I thought I was done with pity parties, but had one on Monday...had to cry, but tried very hard not to.  And it's been 8 months since my surgery.

Hugs!!

ChaosRains

Well after searching the entire house for my missing humor-- (to be quite honest the search was also to ensure that I didn't forget anything for my niece's wedding) -- I found it no where...

I was becoming really concerned because I didn't know how I was going to live without my humor,  luckily I found it in the most unexpected place...  My niece's wedding...

I got to see a lot of friends and family that had heard about my diagnosis and in dealing with them found my humor! 

So, apparently when you are diagnosed with cancer the minute you are diagnosed you are supposed to turn into Smiegel from Lord of the Rings or something!  No one told me this!!! How dare ya'll not tell me??  I don't know what they were expecting but what they got was crazy silly me   

I was worn out by the end of the night from conversations that went like this :

Fam Member x :  "So I heard you had cancer, guess they got the diagnosis wrong, I'm so glad" 

Me:  "No, I do actually have cancer but BC sometimes has no symptoms"

Fam Member x: "Well if I were you I'd get a second opinion because you look fine, you look really healthy-- you don't look like you have cancer and you are in such a good mood" 

Me:  "Well uh... thanks"

then as they are walking away I hear them strike up a conversation with someone else about me supposedly having cancer, but that being highly unlikely because I don't look like I have cancer  *sighs*

So, the people that get me and get my humor were  rolling on the floor laughing by the time I got through with my little spiel about that because in a way I felt attacked at first -- who would lie about having cancer (don't answer that I know there are some messed up people out there ) but it's funny the stereotypes and things you don't realize until you find yourself in the situation...  the reverse of that holds true too... I've got some friends and relatives who all of a sudden think I'm made out of glass and am incapable of doing anything for myself... "No, I'm pretty sure I can get my own glass of water, or hold a baby, or dance til I need to catch my breath... ("Do you really think you should be wearing yourself out etc etc")    I'm good for now, but when I do need your help I will most definitely ask but until then I'm going to wear myself out , I'm going to laugh and dance and hold babies and have the most awesome time that I can!

I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me!